(no subject)
i dont know.
should live journal be...my thing to turn to when i dont feel like hearing my own voice?
i dont feel like hearing anyones voice...maybe my moms or dads...thats it. i feel like im just so sick of noise if it isnt coming out of my headphones or speakers.
hearing people talk or just make fucking sounds with their hands or whatever...it just makes me dizzy. mabe its because nothing theyre saying makes any sense to me or has any real impact on me. i mean, its normal for that to happen a million times a day to everyone, like you hear someone talking down the hall and jus whatever, not even thinking about it. but when people are actually talking to you or...i dont know normalcy just doesnt do it for me anmore.
maybe since things in my life are finally straightening themselves out and getting in order and just being...okay...im not used to it. im not used to having a great boyfriend...im not used to a day without panic or something else that goes wrong...or im just used to everyday after the other being the other shoe that dropped.
i dont know. i should be happy right? any sane person would be happy that they dont have real problems to deal with anymore....but im just so used to me stubbing my toe or finding out the world is ending every day.
i love ray though.
and that makes me happy.
should live journal be...my thing to turn to when i dont feel like hearing my own voice?
i dont feel like hearing anyones voice...maybe my moms or dads...thats it. i feel like im just so sick of noise if it isnt coming out of my headphones or speakers.
hearing people talk or just make fucking sounds with their hands or whatever...it just makes me dizzy. mabe its because nothing theyre saying makes any sense to me or has any real impact on me. i mean, its normal for that to happen a million times a day to everyone, like you hear someone talking down the hall and jus whatever, not even thinking about it. but when people are actually talking to you or...i dont know normalcy just doesnt do it for me anmore.
maybe since things in my life are finally straightening themselves out and getting in order and just being...okay...im not used to it. im not used to having a great boyfriend...im not used to a day without panic or something else that goes wrong...or im just used to everyday after the other being the other shoe that dropped.
i dont know. i should be happy right? any sane person would be happy that they dont have real problems to deal with anymore....but im just so used to me stubbing my toe or finding out the world is ending every day.
i love ray though.
and that makes me happy.