Setting Sun-burn cycle
Dulling outwards
A plague inwards
Please don’t feel. Please don’t wait. Please don’t dream, please sleep.
When she stops pleading in my ears and then…I become a little erect
I do it all and nothing. I do nothing at all.
So I keep myself preoccupied and determined. Yet I seem to be completely unkempt. Routines sporadic though I appear to keep at it.
I seclude myself as I surround myself. I help you because I cannot, will not, and do not help myself.
I am not as useless as I proclaim in so many grandiose ways with piles of smiles how absolutely fabulous I am.
I hurt inside and am quickly drunk after I exhaust my body with the pain of my determination. Sweat dripping out of every poor and it’s not enough until I taste blood.
I want revenge and I want to seep in my hatred to soak in my own recoil. I want to cause pain for those that don’t, won’t, can’t feel it.
So I could hum. Maybe one of your favorite songs which I secretly liked too, but kept that knowledge from you. My secrets had to keep something didn’t I? I mean I wore my pain through my eyes. Had to keep something from you, nice.
Rip out your insides by consuming your belly flesh with a blowtorch
Drape your stinking viscera around your neck.
Cut off your balls and hang them on your ears
Dainty bawdy jewelry that suits your head and face.
Chop off all your toes one by one and shove them up your foul and unreasonable child like ass.
Pluck your eyelids and tuck them between your fingers.
Wrench your feared fang like teeth and gouge your nipples with them.
What can I say? I have an unquenchable desire to want to hate you. It would be so special to me. I don’t get to do it often. I’m too reasonable too kind, to understanding too forgiving.
But you’re the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. You’re a lower human being, and I want to remind you.
That and it doesn’t compare to what we do to our hearts now does it?
What happens to those that are…..too forgiving, too kind, too understanding….
When we become shit on, trod on, beaten up and polluted?
I’m parked. I’m defeated. I did this to myself.
I’d like to enjoy this perversity. I am not the upbeat sun; harping about experience. I’m the cornered dog lost to reason, and snapping at friendly hands.
I don’t want to be tamed anymore and I don’t want to be reminded.
This is no ones fault
But my own..
So maybe I could just…
Sniff a line of it or two or three
Let it reflect its parallel sunny white sided joke on the mirror called life.
I’ll make you feel like you should keep going, for a little while.
Could I, maybe…mutilate you all over again?
And…
Do you have a choice?
A plague inwards
Please don’t feel. Please don’t wait. Please don’t dream, please sleep.
When she stops pleading in my ears and then…I become a little erect
I do it all and nothing. I do nothing at all.
So I keep myself preoccupied and determined. Yet I seem to be completely unkempt. Routines sporadic though I appear to keep at it.
I seclude myself as I surround myself. I help you because I cannot, will not, and do not help myself.
I am not as useless as I proclaim in so many grandiose ways with piles of smiles how absolutely fabulous I am.
I hurt inside and am quickly drunk after I exhaust my body with the pain of my determination. Sweat dripping out of every poor and it’s not enough until I taste blood.
I want revenge and I want to seep in my hatred to soak in my own recoil. I want to cause pain for those that don’t, won’t, can’t feel it.
So I could hum. Maybe one of your favorite songs which I secretly liked too, but kept that knowledge from you. My secrets had to keep something didn’t I? I mean I wore my pain through my eyes. Had to keep something from you, nice.
Rip out your insides by consuming your belly flesh with a blowtorch
Drape your stinking viscera around your neck.
Cut off your balls and hang them on your ears
Dainty bawdy jewelry that suits your head and face.
Chop off all your toes one by one and shove them up your foul and unreasonable child like ass.
Pluck your eyelids and tuck them between your fingers.
Wrench your feared fang like teeth and gouge your nipples with them.
What can I say? I have an unquenchable desire to want to hate you. It would be so special to me. I don’t get to do it often. I’m too reasonable too kind, to understanding too forgiving.
But you’re the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. You’re a lower human being, and I want to remind you.
That and it doesn’t compare to what we do to our hearts now does it?
What happens to those that are…..too forgiving, too kind, too understanding….
When we become shit on, trod on, beaten up and polluted?
I’m parked. I’m defeated. I did this to myself.
I’d like to enjoy this perversity. I am not the upbeat sun; harping about experience. I’m the cornered dog lost to reason, and snapping at friendly hands.
I don’t want to be tamed anymore and I don’t want to be reminded.
This is no ones fault
But my own..
So maybe I could just…
Sniff a line of it or two or three
Let it reflect its parallel sunny white sided joke on the mirror called life.
I’ll make you feel like you should keep going, for a little while.
Could I, maybe…mutilate you all over again?
And…
Do you have a choice?