The key technique you've used here is what Ba'al's NOT revealing deep down; it lets the reader project emotions onto him (as necessary) but also gives an accurate sense of the detachment inherent between Goa'uld and humans. Very appropriate in a short ep rehash.
Had this been a vignette about Ba'al's inner conflict/sympatico between symbiont & host, you could've indulged in more introspection. Or had this been a longer piece, you could've revealed later in the story's development deeper points of empathy between the reader & Ba'al. This piece is perfect AS IS for restraint in brevity.
Ba'al's one of the most nuanced, entertaining, complex Stargate antagonists; he deserves fair treatment in fiction, and I'm glad you do it so well :)
I get so obsessed with researching physics, engineering, anthropology & linguistics for Stargate fanfic that I spend more time on Wikipedia & Google Scholar than I do writing. :P
Although watching episodes of the new Cosmos has gotta count, too, huh? ;)
I wish the UK got that show! But yeah, writing a novel-length "episode" that stays in character and canon is a LOT harder than I expected it to be. It doesn't help that I'm not a natural outliner (usually I just point and go). But there's no deadline for the proposal, so I'll just pootle along and send in when I'm happy with things.
LOVE IT. Ba'al's POV here feels so authentic; it's the names he uses to reference other characters that add the perfect touch.
Baal could barely believe this was SG-1, a team he knew as one of action.
i LOL'd
The Jaffa had definitely picked up some Earth humour. Pity most of it seemed to originate from O'Neill.
THAT IS SO BA'AL
For a moment, she'd forgotten who he was, had allowed herself to be amused by him.
hhnnng :3
Such a treat. I was getting a little bored of all the Daniel-centric Genfic & really needed this piquant episode POV rehash.
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Thanks! :D
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Had this been a vignette about Ba'al's inner conflict/sympatico between symbiont & host, you could've indulged in more introspection. Or had this been a longer piece, you could've revealed later in the story's development deeper points of empathy between the reader & Ba'al. This piece is perfect AS IS for restraint in brevity.
Ba'al's one of the most nuanced, entertaining, complex Stargate antagonists; he deserves fair treatment in fiction, and I'm glad you do it so well :)
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I'm still working on the novel. It's just taking far more research than I'd first imagined.
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I get so obsessed with researching physics, engineering, anthropology & linguistics for Stargate fanfic that I spend more time on Wikipedia & Google Scholar than I do writing. :P
Although watching episodes of the new Cosmos has gotta count, too, huh? ;)
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