(no subject)
this was my away message today.
you know what? whatever. i really don't like you any more. not just as a crush, because yeah i'm over that too. but just as a person in general. you are shallow, a user, and you make fun of me. yeah you have made me happy before. but that was in the past. i can't keep living in the past. the only time you make me happy is in math class. other times you are just a jerk to me, and to everyone else around you. everyone says it. you are changing. for the worst. maybe we all are. but no one like what you are turning into. i want you to go back to the way you used to be. but i dont know if that can happen. so if you cant be nicer, and a better friend.... then this is the end of our friendship.
you know what i just realized? i think deep down we both know that our friendship is coming to an end. very soon. and we are both scared to let go. things have changed between us and they keep changing every day. i think we both know that. but i also think we are scared to let go for two reasons. 1.) the most important reason, because hello, we are (were?) best friends. and believe me, it SUCKS when you are not friends with your best friend any more. take it from the person who's been there before. and theres another reason. 2.) we are scared of what people will think. well idk so much about him. but i am. i mean seriously. what would you people at esms do if me and matt were not friends? if we didnt hug in the hallway every time we saw each other? if we werent attatched at the hip? if we didnt talk? would that not be the strangest experience of your life? everyone knows how close we are (were). everyone knows about "us", i guess is the only way to describe it. they even put in the yearbook for 20 years from now, "Matt McGuinness and Bridget Gates will be married". would that have been put in if everyone didnt know how close we are (were)? i dont think so. everyone would talk about it. everyone would ask me what happened. everyone would be so damn nosy. rumors would start. feelings would be hurt. things would suck. i used to want drama like that to happen to me. but this time... i guess its just different. WHY cant you people UNDERSTAND that ME AND MATT ARE DRIFTING APART??!!
i'm afraid to let go. only i know it has to happen.
you know what? whatever. i really don't like you any more. not just as a crush, because yeah i'm over that too. but just as a person in general. you are shallow, a user, and you make fun of me. yeah you have made me happy before. but that was in the past. i can't keep living in the past. the only time you make me happy is in math class. other times you are just a jerk to me, and to everyone else around you. everyone says it. you are changing. for the worst. maybe we all are. but no one like what you are turning into. i want you to go back to the way you used to be. but i dont know if that can happen. so if you cant be nicer, and a better friend.... then this is the end of our friendship.
you know what i just realized? i think deep down we both know that our friendship is coming to an end. very soon. and we are both scared to let go. things have changed between us and they keep changing every day. i think we both know that. but i also think we are scared to let go for two reasons. 1.) the most important reason, because hello, we are (were?) best friends. and believe me, it SUCKS when you are not friends with your best friend any more. take it from the person who's been there before. and theres another reason. 2.) we are scared of what people will think. well idk so much about him. but i am. i mean seriously. what would you people at esms do if me and matt were not friends? if we didnt hug in the hallway every time we saw each other? if we werent attatched at the hip? if we didnt talk? would that not be the strangest experience of your life? everyone knows how close we are (were). everyone knows about "us", i guess is the only way to describe it. they even put in the yearbook for 20 years from now, "Matt McGuinness and Bridget Gates will be married". would that have been put in if everyone didnt know how close we are (were)? i dont think so. everyone would talk about it. everyone would ask me what happened. everyone would be so damn nosy. rumors would start. feelings would be hurt. things would suck. i used to want drama like that to happen to me. but this time... i guess its just different. WHY cant you people UNDERSTAND that ME AND MATT ARE DRIFTING APART??!!
i'm afraid to let go. only i know it has to happen.