No, I will not put this underneath an LJ-cut.
Life balances itself out, right?
Dynamic Equilibrium-- people will be killed, and people will be born to fill that gap.
Nature--every single life form--does this, doesn't it? The elderly pass away, and a child is born. It's a delicate balance, and one that will continue even after I die. It's life, it's how the population of any given species maintains itself.
Heh, I'm starting to sound like a lunatic, aren't I? Bear with me, this will only take a moment and a large portion of your friends list.
I found it to be more than sheer coincidence that we were talking about all of this in science as the PA system came on. Miss Belfour had left to photocopy a few pages out of the textbook for me, and everyone had began their usual clamor, just like any other day. It really had been 'any other day' up to that point--a test in History, the usual Latin business, and the regular crew at lunch talking about god knows what.
It changed as soon as the PA system clicked on and the principal made his announcement. There was a girl named Crystal. He mentioned it that it was a tragedy, student services was there for any that needed assistance through all of this. He might have mentioned the staff, he might have not, no one quite heard it.
People asked their fellow students what had happened. People gossiped, people wondered, and some people--perhaps they were the ones that heard the entire announcement--were quiet, and even a little sad. After getting no information from my just as clueless friends and after getting an equal amount of nothing from Alisha, I went out into the hall planning to go to Student Services to see what the commotion was about.
Miss Belfour was on her way back to the classroom with the photocopies for me, so I didn't have to walk very far down the hall. If anyone knew what was happening, I figured it would probably be a teacher.
"Miss Belfour? I didn't quite hear the announcement, we were all talking.. Can you tell us what's up?"
By the time Alisha had asked the exact same question louder and the teacher was already at the front of the classroom, I somehow made it to my seat. It was odd; she didn't have to say a word and the class immediately silenced.
"A girl in my 1st period Science class," she said in an oddly quiet voice--it was something similar to that, I can't remember the exact words--and that's as far as she got. She had started to cry as soon as the beginnings of an explanation left her mouth. Immediately I felt guilty--after all, I'd asked her to tell us what happened in the first place--but after apologizing to all of us she shook her head.
"She just fell asleep yesterday and never woke up."
I vaguely remember speaking up and telling Miss Belfour that if she didn't want to talk about it she didn't have to, and that really, it was fine, we'd all understand perfectly, but she shook her head again and regained a bit of her composure.
This was the first time no one said a word in science class that I can recall--none of us knew what to do. Should we hug our science teacher? Should we continue like normal? I wound up pretending to do my work and listening on people speculate, throwing in some of my own theories.
The girl was the same age as me. She was with Elsa yesterday, talking with the other girl at her locker, but I can only picture the back of her head as Elsa laughed. And even then, I'm not sure if I remember this because I want to or because I actually do.
She had a 3 month old baby, and was generally happy with her life. She was in applied, and Emylee said they were--rather, used to be--in the same class. Elsa was with her, and I'm not sure, but I think she slept over at the girl's house. Maybe that's why she wasn't at school today, either.
I didn't know her very well at all--if I can't remember her face, how could I?--so I decided to at least try to lighten the mood up. If I actually followed through with this plan I have no idea, because I found myself quietly stepping back and just watching everything unravel.
It was like the entire school had been pulled down by intense gravity--I noticed people slouching, I noticed people trying as hard as they could to laugh or smile at things other people were trying just as hard to make funny. A few were crying; a few were quiet; and some pretended they didn't care in the least.
"Are you kidding me? I just wish Elsa was the one that died." I was at my locker, getting money for a drink when I heard that one.
"But what are they going to do about the baby?" That was someone in our class--Erin, maybe even me.
"Did you hear? Some girl got stabbed in her sleep!" I passed them on my way to the washroom.
It's these moments when I find myself thinking so hard I find trouble doing anything else. Yes, QECVI has a horrible reputation. QECVI is used to having police around or dashing through the hallways chasing after various students, and we're used to fist-fights and name-calling, but I don't think we're used to death. I don't think it's possible to be used to death.
I don't even think it's possible for me to word this entire situation justifiably.
Dynamic equilibrium. The world is just balancing itself out.
Dynamic Equilibrium-- people will be killed, and people will be born to fill that gap.
Nature--every single life form--does this, doesn't it? The elderly pass away, and a child is born. It's a delicate balance, and one that will continue even after I die. It's life, it's how the population of any given species maintains itself.
Heh, I'm starting to sound like a lunatic, aren't I? Bear with me, this will only take a moment and a large portion of your friends list.
I found it to be more than sheer coincidence that we were talking about all of this in science as the PA system came on. Miss Belfour had left to photocopy a few pages out of the textbook for me, and everyone had began their usual clamor, just like any other day. It really had been 'any other day' up to that point--a test in History, the usual Latin business, and the regular crew at lunch talking about god knows what.
It changed as soon as the PA system clicked on and the principal made his announcement. There was a girl named Crystal. He mentioned it that it was a tragedy, student services was there for any that needed assistance through all of this. He might have mentioned the staff, he might have not, no one quite heard it.
People asked their fellow students what had happened. People gossiped, people wondered, and some people--perhaps they were the ones that heard the entire announcement--were quiet, and even a little sad. After getting no information from my just as clueless friends and after getting an equal amount of nothing from Alisha, I went out into the hall planning to go to Student Services to see what the commotion was about.
Miss Belfour was on her way back to the classroom with the photocopies for me, so I didn't have to walk very far down the hall. If anyone knew what was happening, I figured it would probably be a teacher.
"Miss Belfour? I didn't quite hear the announcement, we were all talking.. Can you tell us what's up?"
By the time Alisha had asked the exact same question louder and the teacher was already at the front of the classroom, I somehow made it to my seat. It was odd; she didn't have to say a word and the class immediately silenced.
"A girl in my 1st period Science class," she said in an oddly quiet voice--it was something similar to that, I can't remember the exact words--and that's as far as she got. She had started to cry as soon as the beginnings of an explanation left her mouth. Immediately I felt guilty--after all, I'd asked her to tell us what happened in the first place--but after apologizing to all of us she shook her head.
"She just fell asleep yesterday and never woke up."
I vaguely remember speaking up and telling Miss Belfour that if she didn't want to talk about it she didn't have to, and that really, it was fine, we'd all understand perfectly, but she shook her head again and regained a bit of her composure.
This was the first time no one said a word in science class that I can recall--none of us knew what to do. Should we hug our science teacher? Should we continue like normal? I wound up pretending to do my work and listening on people speculate, throwing in some of my own theories.
The girl was the same age as me. She was with Elsa yesterday, talking with the other girl at her locker, but I can only picture the back of her head as Elsa laughed. And even then, I'm not sure if I remember this because I want to or because I actually do.
She had a 3 month old baby, and was generally happy with her life. She was in applied, and Emylee said they were--rather, used to be--in the same class. Elsa was with her, and I'm not sure, but I think she slept over at the girl's house. Maybe that's why she wasn't at school today, either.
I didn't know her very well at all--if I can't remember her face, how could I?--so I decided to at least try to lighten the mood up. If I actually followed through with this plan I have no idea, because I found myself quietly stepping back and just watching everything unravel.
It was like the entire school had been pulled down by intense gravity--I noticed people slouching, I noticed people trying as hard as they could to laugh or smile at things other people were trying just as hard to make funny. A few were crying; a few were quiet; and some pretended they didn't care in the least.
"Are you kidding me? I just wish Elsa was the one that died." I was at my locker, getting money for a drink when I heard that one.
"But what are they going to do about the baby?" That was someone in our class--Erin, maybe even me.
"Did you hear? Some girl got stabbed in her sleep!" I passed them on my way to the washroom.
It's these moments when I find myself thinking so hard I find trouble doing anything else. Yes, QECVI has a horrible reputation. QECVI is used to having police around or dashing through the hallways chasing after various students, and we're used to fist-fights and name-calling, but I don't think we're used to death. I don't think it's possible to be used to death.
I don't even think it's possible for me to word this entire situation justifiably.
Dynamic equilibrium. The world is just balancing itself out.