there was a fire alarm this morning
and we had to run out.
A girl came out of JB's room.
It's not my business, really, but, ugh. FML.
For all I know they're bros, that's all. He asked me to go to wine society last night, and I couldn't afford to go because it was expensive and wine makes me weird and I had a 9am this morning. So I begged off, and he said it was okay.
And then this girl.
I wonder if my going would have made any difference, or if he'd have just picked her up regardless of my presence. She looks cool, ya know? Really pretty, with shiny blonde hair, even when I was rolling out of bed in my pajamas for the fecking fire alarm. She was laughing and so smiley, and there was no touching or kissing or whatever, but she was pretty.
Whatever. I'll go out for coffee with German!boy. He was and still is being absolutely lovely over FB. I'm still absurdly attracted to JB but there appears to be nothing for it.
I had my meeting with my dissertation supervisor, finally.
It was terrible. I think. He's very attractive, which I knew already. He's also very bright. Like, the leader in his field kind of bright. Like the leading authority in my area of interest kind of brilliant. Like 6 foot 4 or something, and built like whoa, even though he must be at least 50. He married a masters student a few years back, caused a great big scandal, and his baby was born some time last year. He seemed to be very nice, as a person. But I'd been speaking to some other law students and they said they walked in clueless, and their supervisors went through everything and helped them break their content into manageable chapters and structure the thing. Mine just told me to go forth and read, and I'm so frikking terrified because I'd been hoping that he'd be able to sort me out completely.
On the plus side he said my idea was novel, and that I seemed like the kind of person who is super on the ball. Which is one way of putting it. Hah. On the ball. We got a little chatty and he's super friendly and he does silly things with his face, and I swear to god it feels like he's twice my height.
I was devastated when I got home, because I look at my topic and I feel like I'm drowning, like I don't know where to start. He said I sound like I know what I'm doing, and that I need to read to be able to start but I swear, I've always known my conclusion before I wrote my essays, and I've always known what evidence I needed to support my points. I have no frikking clue, now. If this were just a 3k essay, it'd be fine. I'd manage with two or three major points, a conclusion and an introduction. This is 12000 words, and I need to have some sort of logical structure. I wish he'd have helped.
LS said that's crazy, because no one's supposed to have a structure on their first meeting with their advisor. That's a relief, because I sure as hell don't have one. But she's an archaeology student, and I'm a law student. I don't know if our dissertations work the same way.
But yeah, hopefully this will be the kick on my ass needed to get to work, and work hard. I don't have time for boys. I really don't. I have dreams which I won't put aside. I want to go to the states, after this, on my own feet. I want to convert to a NY qualification and fly over, and work in the US for a while. I have better things to do than to pine over people who might not like me back.
Ugh.
Wish me luck.
A girl came out of JB's room.
It's not my business, really, but, ugh. FML.
For all I know they're bros, that's all. He asked me to go to wine society last night, and I couldn't afford to go because it was expensive and wine makes me weird and I had a 9am this morning. So I begged off, and he said it was okay.
And then this girl.
I wonder if my going would have made any difference, or if he'd have just picked her up regardless of my presence. She looks cool, ya know? Really pretty, with shiny blonde hair, even when I was rolling out of bed in my pajamas for the fecking fire alarm. She was laughing and so smiley, and there was no touching or kissing or whatever, but she was pretty.
Whatever. I'll go out for coffee with German!boy. He was and still is being absolutely lovely over FB. I'm still absurdly attracted to JB but there appears to be nothing for it.
I had my meeting with my dissertation supervisor, finally.
It was terrible. I think. He's very attractive, which I knew already. He's also very bright. Like, the leader in his field kind of bright. Like the leading authority in my area of interest kind of brilliant. Like 6 foot 4 or something, and built like whoa, even though he must be at least 50. He married a masters student a few years back, caused a great big scandal, and his baby was born some time last year. He seemed to be very nice, as a person. But I'd been speaking to some other law students and they said they walked in clueless, and their supervisors went through everything and helped them break their content into manageable chapters and structure the thing. Mine just told me to go forth and read, and I'm so frikking terrified because I'd been hoping that he'd be able to sort me out completely.
On the plus side he said my idea was novel, and that I seemed like the kind of person who is super on the ball. Which is one way of putting it. Hah. On the ball. We got a little chatty and he's super friendly and he does silly things with his face, and I swear to god it feels like he's twice my height.
I was devastated when I got home, because I look at my topic and I feel like I'm drowning, like I don't know where to start. He said I sound like I know what I'm doing, and that I need to read to be able to start but I swear, I've always known my conclusion before I wrote my essays, and I've always known what evidence I needed to support my points. I have no frikking clue, now. If this were just a 3k essay, it'd be fine. I'd manage with two or three major points, a conclusion and an introduction. This is 12000 words, and I need to have some sort of logical structure. I wish he'd have helped.
LS said that's crazy, because no one's supposed to have a structure on their first meeting with their advisor. That's a relief, because I sure as hell don't have one. But she's an archaeology student, and I'm a law student. I don't know if our dissertations work the same way.
But yeah, hopefully this will be the kick on my ass needed to get to work, and work hard. I don't have time for boys. I really don't. I have dreams which I won't put aside. I want to go to the states, after this, on my own feet. I want to convert to a NY qualification and fly over, and work in the US for a while. I have better things to do than to pine over people who might not like me back.
Ugh.
Wish me luck.