An oldie, but a goodie...
I know I've done this meme a thousand times, (actually, I'm not sure if i've done it on LJ before, but I know I've done it on xanga a bunch) but it always makes me feel sort of better when I'm feeling sort of shitty. Or at least different than shitty, which is better than shitty in every regard.
TEN ANONYMOUS NOTES ABOUT TEN ANONYMOUS PEOPLE
1. I feel like you are falling away from me and nothing in the whole wide world scares me more than that. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up one morning and we won't be speaking to each other anymore. I don't know if you understand how badly that would hurt me. I feel like you talk to me less and less, and I know if I tell you that I feel like this it'll just push you further away. I wish you weren't far and I love you more than anything else in the entire world, and I hope that you know how much I really mean that.
2. We were like Stan and Kyle, motherfucker, and we've fucking ruined it. I can't say it's all your fault (although let's be honest, it mostly is.) and as much as I don't want to blame HER I'm putting two and two together and seeing she's probably a fucking factor. We went from being inseperable from talking on AIM occasionally, and the distance factor isn't the only reason and you fucking know that, don't you? I miss the way we argued and fought and fucking loved each other (admittedly me more than you) and how we just completed each other in a such an amazing way. I think you're already gone, and that really kills, but fuck if it wasn't the best ride while it lasted.
3. So you got promoted? Congratulations, I suppose. For someone who was so eager to leave the area, I find it strange you're taking a full day-time position. For someone whose future was supposedly so up-in-the-god-damn-air. And I know, it is so unreasonable for me to be angry because you are and were so fucking sweet to me all the time, but you have to understand that I was hurt, though I didn't let on. It's just, god, you're still here, man! Please don't lie to me, I'm a big girl and I can fucking take it. Just tell me the truth and I will respect and admire so much more than I already do.
4. You are like my brother, and I am so glad that we have that magical power, that ability to not speak for weeks and pick up exactly where we left off. That we can laugh manaically with each other, and go on stupid-ass adventures, and cry and hold each other when we're drunk, and nothing ever gets weird, nothing is ever awkward or quiet or unperfect in any way. And yeah, I'm sorry, I don't like your girlfriend. And as much as I want to say it's because she ignores me and says backhandedly snooty things to the Britt about me, it's also because I was in love with you, and that is a hard thing to get past. But if she makes you happy (which I suspect she doesn't) then I'm happy for you. I just think you can do better, and that you deserve better.
5. Ughhhhh I fucking hate you to death. I think you're selfish and brash and a little racist and sometimes annoying but somehow I manage to love you anyway. And god help you for loving me even though I'm clingy and bitchy and lazy. You are my partner in crime, my gossip queen, my smoking buddy, my punching bag, my closest confidant (besides the britt), my bad influence, my one-man support group, my enabler, and my go-to for anything and everything. I am going to miss the shit out of you when you're gone. You don't know how hard it's gonna be for me to wreak personal havoc without my other Emersonian half.
6. And you. God damn, I don't even know what to do with you. Some days I hate you, some days I love you (mostly when I'm drunk) but I swear to god I cannot figure you out for the life of me. Sometimes I think you resent and hate me, and other times you can't seem to get enough of me. It's a weird feeling, being liked so much by someone else. I guess that's why it freaks me out a little, you wanting to be my friend so badly. And I bet we'd be fucking besties if you didn't have this habit of making me feel so shitty and annoying the crap out of me. You manage to insult me just like my mother and I hate that about you. You keep your leash on him and that bothers me, you bad mouth my other friends and half the time I want to strangle you. But I think that deep down, you're hurting like me, and that's why you act how you do. And I think we're more similar than I like to admit, and that fucking scares me.
7. You have such a knack for making me incredibly happy. You are so funny and so talented and just so, ugh, so perfect sometimes, and I want to be so much like you. I don't know if you really get how much I look up to you, but it's a lot. (Which is ironic because you are younger and shorter than me :P) I hope that we stay friends for a long time, and that you continue to inspire me the way that you have for two years now. I hope that all your fucking dreams come true, and that you find someone perfect and amazing for you, because you do not deserve anything less.
8. I really wish we were closer than we are, kid. You are so funny and so likeable and I really do consider you a close friend of mine, and I hope you do the same for me. We get along famously, and you are always so god damn sweet to me. I know I'm supposed to be on her side all the time, but what she is doing to you is killing me, man. I hope you can see that. I hope you know that I don't approve of her actions; she and i are drifting and I don't think I have the influence that I used to have. I wish you thought to turn to me when you were sad, but I don't know how to tell you how much I love you when I'm sober because I don't want things to be weird between us for the little time that I get to see you. I miss your deadpan-then-grins, I miss our political talks (i'd vote for you, you silly fiscal conservative), and I miss how happy you two were, and how good you were for her. I don't mean to rub salt in the wound, though. I'm sure you miss it too. Be happy that you lasted as long as you did. You did change her, and honestly I thought it'd last forever. But she's fleeting and I'm the only one she's clung to for this long, and by god if she isn't slipping through my fingers now as well. Maybe this common heartbreak will bring us closer. If not, I just wanna hear you laugh again, man. I wanna drink beers with you in hotel rooms and make jew jokes and laugh at everyone else's idioicy.
9. You are a god send, miss angel. Things could have been so much worse for me, but you came along and praise jesus that you did. We fit like clockwork and I'll be damned if I'm not rubbing off on you! I love how you put up with my insane musings, my non-stop ramblings, and my lazy-ass bad habits. You were such a good friend to me when I needed a good friend. I don't know if you understand how good it feels to make you laugh, just the few simple things I have to do to make you giggle, and then I start giggling, and then we are both in tears in teh fucking dining room, pounding the table and choking on ginger ale over the stupidest little shit. I love how we can talk until two in the morning about our respective lives and families, and never get bored. I love how I told you things, horrible sad things, and you never thought any less of me. I love how I call you names and tell you I love you, and you just give a little patronizing laugh sigh, and tell me that you love me too. I love that you make me watch stupid TV and eat Oreos and how insanely fucking loyal you make me become. You're great, kid. Don't ever change.
10. Boy, you baffle me. You make me giggle and blush and feel like a little kid again, which is understandable, really, given how we long we've known each other. But I'm different know, I'm more mature and you're more of a friend to me now, though you've always been kind to me and interested in what I had to say. We make a great team, and you go out of your way to talk to me, or smile at me, or make me feel important when I feel like shit. And I'm a dumbass for thinking there's more, but it's the way you smile at me, or the little things you say, or how you tilt your head and grin like we have a secret, that makes me think twice and honestly, how could you blame me? You are different from anyone I've ever met, and that's what makes you so great. But that's what makes you so hard to read. And honestly, you really are too out-of-my-league, and you're too fucking buff and just generally hot and unlike any type of guy I've ever been attracted to, but I suppose I still am and that makes me an idiot. But nothing will happen and I won't pursue it, and I'll just see you every summer and we'll smile at each other like we have a secret and share cigarettes and I'll just read into everything too much to make myself feel special.
Sorry y'all had to deal with that, but it did make me feel better. I am so lazy and boring and I spent all day playing the Sims and watching episodes of Spy Groove I downloaded (anyone remember Spy Groove? chat with me, I have so many fucking things to rant about to someone who remembers it) and making a completely not-to-scale and shtity model of my house in the sims.
God damn I'm lazy.
TEN ANONYMOUS NOTES ABOUT TEN ANONYMOUS PEOPLE
1. I feel like you are falling away from me and nothing in the whole wide world scares me more than that. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up one morning and we won't be speaking to each other anymore. I don't know if you understand how badly that would hurt me. I feel like you talk to me less and less, and I know if I tell you that I feel like this it'll just push you further away. I wish you weren't far and I love you more than anything else in the entire world, and I hope that you know how much I really mean that.
2. We were like Stan and Kyle, motherfucker, and we've fucking ruined it. I can't say it's all your fault (although let's be honest, it mostly is.) and as much as I don't want to blame HER I'm putting two and two together and seeing she's probably a fucking factor. We went from being inseperable from talking on AIM occasionally, and the distance factor isn't the only reason and you fucking know that, don't you? I miss the way we argued and fought and fucking loved each other (admittedly me more than you) and how we just completed each other in a such an amazing way. I think you're already gone, and that really kills, but fuck if it wasn't the best ride while it lasted.
3. So you got promoted? Congratulations, I suppose. For someone who was so eager to leave the area, I find it strange you're taking a full day-time position. For someone whose future was supposedly so up-in-the-god-damn-air. And I know, it is so unreasonable for me to be angry because you are and were so fucking sweet to me all the time, but you have to understand that I was hurt, though I didn't let on. It's just, god, you're still here, man! Please don't lie to me, I'm a big girl and I can fucking take it. Just tell me the truth and I will respect and admire so much more than I already do.
4. You are like my brother, and I am so glad that we have that magical power, that ability to not speak for weeks and pick up exactly where we left off. That we can laugh manaically with each other, and go on stupid-ass adventures, and cry and hold each other when we're drunk, and nothing ever gets weird, nothing is ever awkward or quiet or unperfect in any way. And yeah, I'm sorry, I don't like your girlfriend. And as much as I want to say it's because she ignores me and says backhandedly snooty things to the Britt about me, it's also because I was in love with you, and that is a hard thing to get past. But if she makes you happy (which I suspect she doesn't) then I'm happy for you. I just think you can do better, and that you deserve better.
5. Ughhhhh I fucking hate you to death. I think you're selfish and brash and a little racist and sometimes annoying but somehow I manage to love you anyway. And god help you for loving me even though I'm clingy and bitchy and lazy. You are my partner in crime, my gossip queen, my smoking buddy, my punching bag, my closest confidant (besides the britt), my bad influence, my one-man support group, my enabler, and my go-to for anything and everything. I am going to miss the shit out of you when you're gone. You don't know how hard it's gonna be for me to wreak personal havoc without my other Emersonian half.
6. And you. God damn, I don't even know what to do with you. Some days I hate you, some days I love you (mostly when I'm drunk) but I swear to god I cannot figure you out for the life of me. Sometimes I think you resent and hate me, and other times you can't seem to get enough of me. It's a weird feeling, being liked so much by someone else. I guess that's why it freaks me out a little, you wanting to be my friend so badly. And I bet we'd be fucking besties if you didn't have this habit of making me feel so shitty and annoying the crap out of me. You manage to insult me just like my mother and I hate that about you. You keep your leash on him and that bothers me, you bad mouth my other friends and half the time I want to strangle you. But I think that deep down, you're hurting like me, and that's why you act how you do. And I think we're more similar than I like to admit, and that fucking scares me.
7. You have such a knack for making me incredibly happy. You are so funny and so talented and just so, ugh, so perfect sometimes, and I want to be so much like you. I don't know if you really get how much I look up to you, but it's a lot. (Which is ironic because you are younger and shorter than me :P) I hope that we stay friends for a long time, and that you continue to inspire me the way that you have for two years now. I hope that all your fucking dreams come true, and that you find someone perfect and amazing for you, because you do not deserve anything less.
8. I really wish we were closer than we are, kid. You are so funny and so likeable and I really do consider you a close friend of mine, and I hope you do the same for me. We get along famously, and you are always so god damn sweet to me. I know I'm supposed to be on her side all the time, but what she is doing to you is killing me, man. I hope you can see that. I hope you know that I don't approve of her actions; she and i are drifting and I don't think I have the influence that I used to have. I wish you thought to turn to me when you were sad, but I don't know how to tell you how much I love you when I'm sober because I don't want things to be weird between us for the little time that I get to see you. I miss your deadpan-then-grins, I miss our political talks (i'd vote for you, you silly fiscal conservative), and I miss how happy you two were, and how good you were for her. I don't mean to rub salt in the wound, though. I'm sure you miss it too. Be happy that you lasted as long as you did. You did change her, and honestly I thought it'd last forever. But she's fleeting and I'm the only one she's clung to for this long, and by god if she isn't slipping through my fingers now as well. Maybe this common heartbreak will bring us closer. If not, I just wanna hear you laugh again, man. I wanna drink beers with you in hotel rooms and make jew jokes and laugh at everyone else's idioicy.
9. You are a god send, miss angel. Things could have been so much worse for me, but you came along and praise jesus that you did. We fit like clockwork and I'll be damned if I'm not rubbing off on you! I love how you put up with my insane musings, my non-stop ramblings, and my lazy-ass bad habits. You were such a good friend to me when I needed a good friend. I don't know if you understand how good it feels to make you laugh, just the few simple things I have to do to make you giggle, and then I start giggling, and then we are both in tears in teh fucking dining room, pounding the table and choking on ginger ale over the stupidest little shit. I love how we can talk until two in the morning about our respective lives and families, and never get bored. I love how I told you things, horrible sad things, and you never thought any less of me. I love how I call you names and tell you I love you, and you just give a little patronizing laugh sigh, and tell me that you love me too. I love that you make me watch stupid TV and eat Oreos and how insanely fucking loyal you make me become. You're great, kid. Don't ever change.
10. Boy, you baffle me. You make me giggle and blush and feel like a little kid again, which is understandable, really, given how we long we've known each other. But I'm different know, I'm more mature and you're more of a friend to me now, though you've always been kind to me and interested in what I had to say. We make a great team, and you go out of your way to talk to me, or smile at me, or make me feel important when I feel like shit. And I'm a dumbass for thinking there's more, but it's the way you smile at me, or the little things you say, or how you tilt your head and grin like we have a secret, that makes me think twice and honestly, how could you blame me? You are different from anyone I've ever met, and that's what makes you so great. But that's what makes you so hard to read. And honestly, you really are too out-of-my-league, and you're too fucking buff and just generally hot and unlike any type of guy I've ever been attracted to, but I suppose I still am and that makes me an idiot. But nothing will happen and I won't pursue it, and I'll just see you every summer and we'll smile at each other like we have a secret and share cigarettes and I'll just read into everything too much to make myself feel special.
Sorry y'all had to deal with that, but it did make me feel better. I am so lazy and boring and I spent all day playing the Sims and watching episodes of Spy Groove I downloaded (anyone remember Spy Groove? chat with me, I have so many fucking things to rant about to someone who remembers it) and making a completely not-to-scale and shtity model of my house in the sims.
God damn I'm lazy.