Gravity Doesn't Hold Me Like You Do

May 14, 2013 16:55

Title: Gravity Doesn't Hold Me Like You Do
Rating: PG
Paring: Yuto x Yamada
Genre: Romance
Summary: Yuto and Yamada have a specific love story. (This is the gist of it.)
Notes: Whoaa it's been a year? This fic (which was inspired by the song Ho Hey) is a laate birthday gift for nightbaron079. Also, thanks to the lovely re-riko for beta-ing this fic.

i.
When Yuto and Yamada were younger, they were sure they were it.

Yuto fell for Yamada’s quiet side. The Yamada with the little obsessions and weird habits. The Yamada who laughed with a blush on his cheeks and a glint in his eyes. The Yamada who wasn’t afraid to face the truth. Yuto fell in love and Yamada just knew that he was falling too.

Yamada marveled at the fact that Yuto even befriended him. Maybe if they met somewhere else (in school, at a café, anywhere except the stage full of glitter, feathers, and hopeful dreamers), they wouldn’t be friends. Yuto was too loud, too brash. Yamada, being affectionate in little ways, loved it when Yuto smiled too brightly, too boldly. It meant he had left a mark, however small or simple, on someone like Yuto who was as dazzling as the sun.

ii.
It was never an issue of gender. Yuto looked at Yamada like an astronomer would look at the skies. Yamada was his universe- beautiful, mysterious, and overwhelming. No amount of whispers could ring louder than the fact that they were in love.

iii.
Yuto wished he could blame the spotlight or pride or time for their break-up, but he couldn’t. Yamada stood there, crying quietly. (“This isn’t working.” “We’re just too young, too scared.”)

Yamada hated that it had to come to this. Their love was a grand orchestra, fireworks, and meteor showers. (Like a tornado, an earthquake; too strong, too dangerous.)

“I love you but I’m not ready,” Yamada said. (“I love you so much it hurts to breathe.”)

Yuto wiped tears from his eyes as he watched as the other boy leave.

(“One day. We’ll be stronger, braver. When that time comes, I promise-”)

iv.
The first few months are almost impossible, as expected. Too many awkward silences and fleeting glances.

Eventually, Yuto confronts Yamada and says, “We can still be friends.” At the same moment, Yamada says, “I met someone.”

v.
Yuto doesn’t expect the relief that fills him. Yamada deserves happiness. Yamada deserves that light.

“Whoever it is, I hope you’re happy,” Yuto says.

“She does make me happy,” Yamada replies, nervously fiddling with the end of his shirt.

Yuto smiles, ignoring the tugging at his heart.

vi.
The days and weeks and months blur together. Yamada and Yuto see other people. Yamada and Yuto fall, love, dance, cry, sing, fly, and dream. Yamada and Yuto fall back into their comfortable little friendship.

Yamada and Yuto.

Always.

vii.
Yamada is grateful for show business. He is an artist and the stage is his canvass. He paints worlds, characters, and emotions.

(Yuto will always be his favorite color.)

viii.
When Yuto speaks to Yamada, it feels like a confession. It feels like home. It feels like freedom. No matter how many fights, misunderstandings, and feelings get in the way, they find each other.

ix.
Yuto always knows when to get Yamada strawberry yogurt (after a long night of studying, after a bad date, after a tiring rehearsal). Yamada always remembers to call Yuto (reminding him of practice times, of photo shoots, of dates he might be late for).

They see each other a lot at school, at work, at the train station. They don’t speak or interact every day though. They don’t need to. When they do communicate (through pats on the back, through short scribbled notes, through smiles), it counts.

x.
They go through milestones (a couple of singles, dramas, concerts, high school graduation) and they have many more to go (solo careers, relationships, marriage maybe).

They are rivals in the sweetest sense.

(Yamada wants to be the star Yuto was and is. Yuto wants to be the passionate artist Yamada can be.)

They are the moon and the ocean, pushing and pulling each other (to greatness, to excellence).

(Holding each other even in the darkest of times.)

xii.
Yuto and Yamada have a specific love story that includes dates and times and places. It includes pasts and presents and things to come. It involves changes and tears.

Yuto is electric and Yamada is fire (but these things- these details- don’t matter. Not really.)

Strength will blossom and courage can be found, but love- their love was a constant they never doubted.

After all, when Yuto and Yamada were younger, they were sure they were it.

(“I love you.”)

(“I never stopped.”)

(“Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes. I do.”)

(“I love you too.”)

(“I know. I’ve always known.”)

(“We were right.”)

fanfiction, rating: pg, title: gravity doesn't hold me like you , yamajima

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