(no subject)
.what is the mother fucking point?
.wake. work. save. buy. sleep.
.wake. work. save. buy. sleep.
.wake to work? wake to save, to save for what?
.buy? some shit you dont need?
.i dont fit the usual norm. i have tried to be "normal" and "usual" for a year now. it does not work.
.i feel hollow. i still don't eat meat. i dont eat animals. could you eat your fucking dog? you wouldn't be able to. now shut the fuck up you hypocritical fuckstick. your cat? your bunny? try it. eat that pet of yours you spend money on. you cuddle with. you look for comfort. put that on the barbeque. lather on the sauce cause it tastes bland without it. chew those muscles that used to move to run to you when you came home each day. enjoy that satisfying texture of your ex-pet.
.what is the difference from a cow? a pig? oh wait. you dont eat horses right? look that shit up you willfully ignorant fucks. seriously. spend a few DAYS researching what you fucking eat and shit out of your body.
.anyways......
.been in a downward spiral lately. back into the same trench again. dodging bullets (idiots) and trying to not lose my fucking sight. i dont see a point in trying to attain much else anymore. to what fucking end? to be "happy" give me all the fucking wealth in the world, and i would feel stuck. i would want to share it. id love to make my own little community and have it self sustaining and self efficient. produce what we need. make the ammunition. provide the works. just take a little island or a state. ugh. so many options with that. so many consequences.
.am i a winston smith? am i a howard roark, am i both? am i more? am i less? all i know is i am me...
.and me is not cutting it.
.people look up to me and ask me advice. they look to me for the "straight and narrow". they want to hang out with me, and i decline. they want to go out to the clubs with me, and i dont.
.i dont enjoy that sort of shit. yes, it is fun to dance. but still... being in a room with people i dont know and i know they dont see the same shit i do. they still have their blinders on. their fucking bullshit antenna's on. they feed on it. i have forty year olds at work asking me why i am so smart... um... thanks. but if you also opened your eyes, you would see i am just an average joe.
.fuck. i could go on. and on. and on.
..... but. "every day is exactly the same."............
.wake. work. save. buy. sleep.
.wake. work. save. buy. sleep.
.wake to work? wake to save, to save for what?
.buy? some shit you dont need?
.i dont fit the usual norm. i have tried to be "normal" and "usual" for a year now. it does not work.
.i feel hollow. i still don't eat meat. i dont eat animals. could you eat your fucking dog? you wouldn't be able to. now shut the fuck up you hypocritical fuckstick. your cat? your bunny? try it. eat that pet of yours you spend money on. you cuddle with. you look for comfort. put that on the barbeque. lather on the sauce cause it tastes bland without it. chew those muscles that used to move to run to you when you came home each day. enjoy that satisfying texture of your ex-pet.
.what is the difference from a cow? a pig? oh wait. you dont eat horses right? look that shit up you willfully ignorant fucks. seriously. spend a few DAYS researching what you fucking eat and shit out of your body.
.anyways......
.been in a downward spiral lately. back into the same trench again. dodging bullets (idiots) and trying to not lose my fucking sight. i dont see a point in trying to attain much else anymore. to what fucking end? to be "happy" give me all the fucking wealth in the world, and i would feel stuck. i would want to share it. id love to make my own little community and have it self sustaining and self efficient. produce what we need. make the ammunition. provide the works. just take a little island or a state. ugh. so many options with that. so many consequences.
.am i a winston smith? am i a howard roark, am i both? am i more? am i less? all i know is i am me...
.and me is not cutting it.
.people look up to me and ask me advice. they look to me for the "straight and narrow". they want to hang out with me, and i decline. they want to go out to the clubs with me, and i dont.
.i dont enjoy that sort of shit. yes, it is fun to dance. but still... being in a room with people i dont know and i know they dont see the same shit i do. they still have their blinders on. their fucking bullshit antenna's on. they feed on it. i have forty year olds at work asking me why i am so smart... um... thanks. but if you also opened your eyes, you would see i am just an average joe.
.fuck. i could go on. and on. and on.
..... but. "every day is exactly the same."............