Towel in hand...
So I am standing here outside the ring with a towel in my hand. I have Faelyn on my hip and my hair hasn't been washed in two days. I am just looking at the towel.
Since Erik has been rehearsing and getting ready to open a show, I have been watching closely. My hand inching closer to the towel. This week he is getting between 2 hours on a good day and 15 minutes on most days to spend with our daughter. Not to mention the same time is alotted for me, since he gets home after 11 and I am tired and often asleep.
I am not criticizing nor am I objecting to his being in the show. Although it has been very hard on me and I, in turn, have been harder on him than he deserves. Iam sorry for that but, I cannot help it.
It leads me to wonder about the towel and my hanging on to it. I dont know why I am hanging onto it, its just one more thing in my hands. Its no longer the important thing my hands hold. And its not been wet in quite a while.
SO.
I am holding the towel over the ring. Not quite ready to drop it. Throw it in so to speak. Not quite knowing how much of the towel I actually need to keep with me to clean up any spills.
Aching, really. Torn. Sortof. No questions really to be answered about the valued use of my time, what I can add to my day, how much laundry I can do in a week. (Figuratively)
So.
Since Erik has been rehearsing and getting ready to open a show, I have been watching closely. My hand inching closer to the towel. This week he is getting between 2 hours on a good day and 15 minutes on most days to spend with our daughter. Not to mention the same time is alotted for me, since he gets home after 11 and I am tired and often asleep.
I am not criticizing nor am I objecting to his being in the show. Although it has been very hard on me and I, in turn, have been harder on him than he deserves. Iam sorry for that but, I cannot help it.
It leads me to wonder about the towel and my hanging on to it. I dont know why I am hanging onto it, its just one more thing in my hands. Its no longer the important thing my hands hold. And its not been wet in quite a while.
SO.
I am holding the towel over the ring. Not quite ready to drop it. Throw it in so to speak. Not quite knowing how much of the towel I actually need to keep with me to clean up any spills.
Aching, really. Torn. Sortof. No questions really to be answered about the valued use of my time, what I can add to my day, how much laundry I can do in a week. (Figuratively)
So.