Madam Suliman's Academy for Incurably Magical Boys

[chichiri_no_da]

Title: Madam Suliman's Academy for Incurably Criminal Magical Boys
Author: chichiri_no_da
Fandom: Howl's Moving Castle (Ghibli Film)
Characters/Pairing: Howl and Calcifer, no pairing
Challenge: May 2007 challenge
Warnings and Notes: No warnings for this story. It's 98% movieverse canon, but I've slipped in a bit of homage to the book as well, which is lovely. Any errors in canon details are mine and mine alone. I tried my best to check details, but it's been a hell of a week and I wanted to kick off the challenge *grins*


"Oh shit!"

The expletive was hissed between clenched teeth as Howell - or Howl, as he insisted upon being called now - ducked behind one of the decorative tapestries that lined the wall, holding as still as he could.

But hiding behind a tapestry wasn't nearly as effective as in the books. The moment he squeezed himself behind the heavy drapery, he realized that he couldn't flatten himself enough to keep from creating a noticeable bulge. And not only that, but he was quite certain his shoes would be visible.

Listening to the approaching footsteps, the clicking of severe high heels on the varnished wood floor he'd polished to a shine more times than he could count, Howl looked around quickly for another solution. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a large window, covered by thick curtains and slightly ajar.

Without stopping to think about the stupidity of the move, he dove for the window and slipped outside, placing his feet on the windowsill and stretching upwards. In that position, he could dig his fingers into the brickwork above.

And there he stayed, clinging precariously to the outside of a second story window and hoping to hell no one found him there.

He wasn't a moment too soon, as the shoes rounded the corner and passed within inches of his hiding spot. "Honestly!" Suliman exclaimed to her silent companion. "I don't know why I bother. Half the time, he doesn't show up for his lessons. He's always off performing unauthorized spells, most of them far beyond his ability."

"Performing, or attempting?" a male voice responded. Howl could tell even from the few words that the man had to be nobility, from the accent and the tone of voice.

Prince Frederick, he thought to himself, not surprised. The house had been buzzing for days about the imminent visit of the Heir, but the excitement had pretty much left Howl cold. The Prince had come to the mansion several times since Howl had started his apprenticeship to Suliman and Howl disliked the man intensely, finding him boisterous and easily distractible. He didn't think he would make a good king, but to Howl's frustration, he wasn't in a position to decide such things.

Suliman was obviously looking for him so that she could show off her star pupil, and on any normal day Howl would be more than happy to demonstrate his amazing magical abilities to any audience.

But today was definitely not normal. A disaster of epic proportions had occurred right under Suliman's nose, and it was vital that Howl fix it before anyone else found out about it. He didn't have time to prance about like a show pony.

"Performing," Suliman said, sounding more annoyed than proud of her apprentice today. She sighed. "So far as I know, Howl hasn't failed at much of anything he's attempted. He truly will be a powerful wizard one day."

"Even more powerful than you?" the Prince responded in a teasing tone. How nice for Suliman to have such highly-placed friends. And it didn't sound like they were moving anymore. Had they paused to talk outside the window?

Howl winced as he felt a twinge starting in his fingers, and glanced down to the rose bushes below. That wouldn't be a fun fall.

He looked around quickly, though he was still listening intently to hear Suliman's answer to that all-important question.

"Hardly," Suliman laughed, though Howl could swear there was unease in the woman's tone. He smirked.

She knows I'll be better than her one day, he thought with pride. I'll be the most powerful wizard in the world!

He spotted a balcony off to his right, and the window ledge actually continued to either side of him along the building. If he moved along the ledge, he might be able to make it before his fingers gave out. He drew a breath and began inching along, digging his fingers into the brick and moving his feet carefully, dreading the inevitable slip and resulting fall to the thorny bushes below, accompanied by his screaming.

Meanwhile, Suliman and her best friend were still talking in the hallway. In that moment, Howl hated them with all of his strength, as he inched along on the outside of the tall stupid mansion with its rough stupid brick and thin stupid ledges.

And then he heard a shout from below. "Howl! Madam Suliman! I found Howl!" He risked another look down and sighed. There was a group of boys standing on the manicured lawns below, looking straight up at him.

The window swung open and Suliman looked out of the window, down at the boys. Howl held his breath, praying that she wouldn't look to her left and see him there, dangling like an idiot over her garden. But even as he did so, he knew it wouldn't do any good. Given his incredible superiority over them, he was basically hated by the other boys Suliman apprenticed and they wouldn't fail to rat him out. Especially when he looked this ridiculous.

But she didn't look to her left. "Where is he, Devon?" she called.

"He's in the shed, Madam! Hurry! We've got him trapped this time for sure!" Devon called, and Howl nearly revealed himself by gasping. They weren't going to give him away?

Suddenly his estimation of the magically-challenged boys he studied with rose a few inches. Maybe they weren't that bad after all.

"I'll be right there!" Suliman called back, and withdrew her head into the hall. Howl listened as she walked away, glancing down at Devon again as the other boys ran back in the direction of the shed. The other boy smirked up at him, which made his rather protuberant nose look even more grotesque, and winked, then trotted into the mansion itself.

Howl closed his eyes for a moment, thanked God, Devon and the National Welsh Football League for his good fortune, then inched the last foot over to the balcony and hauled himself over the railing.

He collapsed to the floor and rolled onto his back, just breathing and holding his hands close to his chest as they cramped up. He didn't have much time, but he was also at a loss. Suliman would be busy searching for him all over the grounds for some time at this rate, but how was he going to solve the bigger problem at hand?

Then suddenly the doors opened and Devon joined him on the balcony. "Oh good, you didn't fall," he said with a grin, crouching on his haunches over Howl and looking down at him. "So what the hell happened to you, anyway?"

Howl winced and rolled over, sitting up and crossing his legs and tossing an errand lock of hair out of his eyes. The lock, along with the rest of his hair, was a bright and violent shade of purple.

"Thanks for the rescue," he said genteelly.

He didn't like Devon. The kid was a snot, and not very talented to boot. He was smart, but it was book smarts. He didn't have the mind for true magic, and would probably end up as the advisor of some minor lord someday. Someone who needed help with their sums more than they needed a powerful wizard to protect their lands, but wouldn't admit it.

But he could still be polite.

"No problem," Devon replied, showing off crooked teeth as he grinned. "So...?"

Howl sighed. "I'm working on a hair colour changing potion, and it went a little...wrong," he caught that lock of hair between thumb and forefinger and held it up to his eyes ruefully. "I couldn't go parading around looking like this. I need some time without Suliman on my back to concoct a cure for myself."

Devon cocked his head thoughtfully, and then his eyes lit up like a flashbulb had gone off in his brain. "No, no, you've got it all wrong. I was reading something last week that'll help you."

Howl blinked and sat up straighter, leaning closer to the other boy. Suddenly Devon was looking slightly more attractive. "What? What were you reading?"

Devon tapped his upper lip with his finger, looking up at the sky. "There's even going to be a star shower at Worthingshire Spring tonight! If you hurry, you'll make it."

Howl had heard of star showers, but had never seen one, and he reached forward to catch the boy's elbow, making him look at him. "What's your point?" he asked urgently. "What does a star shower have to do with anything?"

"I was reading about ways to break spells," Devon said, tugging his elbow out of Howl's hand and straightening his sleeve. "There was a section on potion-based spells. As you know, a curse can be broken by fulfilling the correct condition placed on the curse, or by the application of a sufficiently powerful will. But potion based spells have a physical component, so it's almost impossible to break by will alone."

"Yes, yes, I know," Howl said impatiently. "That's my problem, Devon." The boy would probably make a good teacher one day. He was as pompous as all the rest of them in lecture-mode.

Devon just nodded. "A spell like yours will need to be purified to be broken. Salt is good, certain herbs, or a freshwater spring. But none of those alone will probably be strong enough to break the spell you're using or you'd have tried that by now."

Howl was nodding impatiently, waiting for him to get to the point. What a windbag!

Devon grinned, obviously feeling quite clever. "But a star shower is a magical event, and the book was saying that if you do things in conjunction with such events, the results are more powerful. It'll be happening right over a fresh water spring. If you wash your hair in the spring during the star shower, I'm sure the...the environmental power boost will be enough to break it."

The purple-haired boy cocked his head thoughtfully. He'd never heard of star showers being helpful in something like this, but it certainly sounded plausible. "Great, I'll try it," he said, scrambling to his feet.

Devon grinned and jumped up as well. "Well, you'd better hurry if you want to get there in time. You know where you're going?"

Howl nodded. The group of boys Suliman tutored had made a field trip to the Worthingshire Spring a few months before. It had been muddy and boring, but Howl knew where to go.

He reached out and put a hand on the other boy's shoulder. "Thanks, Devon. I owe you one," he said sincerely. This had been kindness from an unexpected quarter, and he vowed to treat the other boys with more respect from now on. There were gems hiding in that rough, it seemed.

"Hey, glad I could help. We're all in this together, right?" Devon responded, smiling at Howl. "Now I'll help the others to keep Suliman distracted so you can sneak off the grounds. Good luck, Howl."

"Thanks," Howl said again, and watched as Devon slipped through the doors and out into the hall again. He heard the boy break into a run and wondered what the big hurry was as he listened to the patter of his footsteps as he raced away.

He waited for the count of twenty, then went inside and trotted quickly down the hall in the opposite direction where Devon had gone. The place where Howl lived wasn't a school, per se, but Suliman had been collecting boys who'd already received their first tier wizard certification from the Academy, and - as she put it - 'maximizing their potential with personalized tutoring'.

Howl figured she just wanted to have some measure of control over who ended up becoming powerful wizards. After the debacle of the Witch of the Waste turning bad and vanishing into the wastes to work her evil magic alone, things were tightening up in the kingdom. These boys had already taken their oaths, but they were still largely untried and had a lot of potential to develop. There was still a lot of room for them to go astray.

More than one especially troublesome boy had quit in disgust, and Howl was firmly convinced that Suliman had simply driven the boy off, not wanting him to benefit from her connections and the prestige of being one of her personal apprentices.

Well, Howl might be troublesome, but no one could deny his ability. He'd complete his training if it killed him.

And today, he was wondering if it really might. It was going to be a long hard trek alone to Worthingshire, and if he were caught he'd be in for some serious humiliation as Suliman chewed him out in front of all the others, where they could all see the silly state of his hair.

It didn't take long for him to escape from the mansion itself and he cut across the lawns, making a beeline for the road that he knew would take him to Worthingshire. He looked up at the sun, gauging how much time he had. Last time they had taken a carriage, of course, but he figured if he pushed himself it would take no more than a couple of hours to walk. And if he was lucky maybe he could hitch a ride along the way.

He could hear a commotion on the far side of the grounds and grinned. Devon and his cronies were at least making things interesting for Suliman as they 'looked' for him.

With a spring in his step, he stepped onto verge of the road and turned his feet eastwards, looking forward eagerly to the breaking of the spell.

A few hours later, he was starting to regret the whole thing. He hadn't realized how hot the day was when he set out around lunchtime, but by mid afternoon the sun had turned into a hateful ball of flame that beat down mercilessly on his head.

He pulled out his handkerchief for the fortieth time that hour and wiped the sweat from his face, then paused to rub his sore feet, frowning up and down the dusty road. There was a cloud behind him a ways that he was pretty sure could be a wagon or something, but he didn't get his hopes up. Several wagons had passed him already, and none of them had stopped.

This one did, however, and Howl stopped walking and looked around when the clopping of the horses halted just behind him. His nose twitched at the scent of fresh hay, piled high in the back of the large wagon. "You need a lift, son?" a grizzled old farmer called from high up on the front. Then he blinked shortsightedly. "And what in th' good Lord's name happened to your hair?"

"Uh," Howl said, his cheeks flushing in a most undignified manner. "I fell inna blackberry patch." He turned on his highest-wattage smile and beamed up at the man. "I would shore thank you for a ride, kind sir. I've been walkin' all day, and I've still got miles t' go."

"Well, get yersel' up here, son," the man said, relaxing faintly, though there was a flicker of doubt in his eyes. Apparently the utterly fake hick accent Howl had affected had convinced him that he couldn't be a wizard, after all. Despite the hair. "Where'ya headed?"

"Worthingshire, sir," Howl said, swinging himself up into the rough seat and looking around from his new perch. There was a breeze that was easier to feel when you were up a bit higher, and he was already starting to feel a great deal better. "But if you're not going that far, I'll walk the rest of the way."

"Worthingshire?" the man replied incredulously. "That's a damn sight far to walk. Well even with me givin' you a ride halfway, you'll be lucky to get there before dark!"

Howl's jaw dropped. "It's that far?" he exclaimed.

The farmer chucked his tongue and the horses started moving again. "Ayup," he said, nodding.

Frowning, Howl settled back in his seat. He hadn't thought it had taken that long by carriage, though come to think of it he'd slept part of the way and wasn't sure how long it had been. "Well, I thank ya even more for the ride, then, sir," he said distractedly, watching the cows in the fields as they passed.

Devon wouldn't know how far it was to walk, either, he told himself, though he was starting to feel a twinge. Besides, he's not brainy enough to send me on a wild goose chase THIS wild without me figuring it out.

Even with the very-much-welcome hitchhike, Howl was exhausted by the time he caught his first glimpse of the waving grasses and sparkle of water. His feet were sore, his clothes were soaked with sweat, and he was pretty sure his cheeks were sunburned.

Even if Devon turned out to be right about the hair-washing thing, Howl had decided he was going to kill him. It would make him feel better.

The sun was sinking behind the mountains as he tromped towards the spring, which was really more of a swamp than anything else. Mud sucked at his shoes with each step, but at least it was already noticeably cooler.

He sighed and sank to his knees next to the edge of the pond, knowing he was getting mud all over himself and far beyond caring. He splashed water on his face and immediately felt better, glancing around himself as the sun set and the shadows grew long.

It really was a nice spot, with flowers of every conceivable colour and shape nodding in the breeze that was starting to kick up as the air cooled. He shifted to sit on a convenient log and let out a sigh, waiting with a bit of impatience as the darkness grew deeper and the stars started to come out one by one.

Then finally a white streak shot past his vision, skipped across the water, and winked out as it sank.

By that point, Howl had fallen into a half-doze, but he sat up in a hurry, looking up in open-mouthed awe as more and more of the stars seemed to fall, showering down from the sky like the aftermath of a huge fireworks display. He quickly slipped off the log and plunged his knees into the muddy water, bending and dunking his head in the clear, cold water.

Come on, come ON, he thought to himself frantically as he scrubbed at his head with his fingers. This has to work. It HAS to! I didn't come all this way for nothing! His scalp tingled and his heart rose with hope.

Finally he raised his head, drawing in a deep breath as he squeezed the worst of the water out of his hair. He looked at it desperately in the uncertain light of the falling stars and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it looked to be plain, boring black again, rather than eye-bleeding violet.

He jumped to his feet, excited, and almost turned away right then and there to head back, but his eyes were caught once again by the beautiful shower of stars.

He watched as another fell just a few feet away from him, and this time noticed that instead of skipping like a stone, it looked like a tiny man running desperately over the water. It finally fell and sank, the little body dissipating like it was made of crepe paper.

Frowning, Howl looked around and realized that all of the falling stars were actually little men, and all of them were extinguishing when they hit the water or mud.

A moment later, one fell almost on top of him and he jumped forward before he could think. He sank into knee-deep water with a splash, but the fairy was caught in his cupped hands.

He felt the pain as the hot little creature seared his palms, but he didn't drop it, trying not to hold it too tightly. "Are...are you okay?" he gasped softly, tears springing to his eyes.

The star shook its head as if dazed and looked up at Howl. "I...I think I'm dying," it said, its voice breathless and faint. Even as Howl held it, he could see its fire starting to go out.

"How can I help you?" Howl asked desperately, even as other stars fell all around him. Even if he could just save one of the beautiful creatures...

"If you give me your heart, I will serve you forever," the creature said softly, slumping against Howl's fingers and panting as if with its last breaths.

"My heart?" Howl asked, his eyes widening. "I can't give you that! I'll die!"

"...No..." the creature whispered weakly. "No, you will live..."

Howl hesitated, but the suffering of the fairy was too much. He held it to his breast and gasped as the searing pain seemed to jump from his hands into his chest. He hunched over, panting as something heavy slipped into his hands. He thought for a moment he heard a woman's voice calling him, but it wasn't a voice he knew.

When it was over, he raised his head, looking at the ball of flame held in his cupped hands. The little demon grinned widely, looking up at him. The fire no longer burned him, but felt pleasantly warm.

"Thank you, Master, you saved my life," the demon said.

"I feel..." Howl drew in a breath, tilting his head back to look at the sky. He felt lighter than air, powerful, like a heavy burden that he hadn't even felt when he bore it had been lifted from his shoulders.

He felt like he could fly, and he shouted his laughter upwards into the shower of still-falling stars.

Grinning from ear to ear, he looked back down at his new friend. "What is your name?" he asked.

"Calcifer," the demon said. "What's yours, wizard?"

"Howl," he replied, turning away from the stream and carrying his new acquisition close to his chest.

"What were you doing here, Howl?" Calcifer asked curiously. "It seemed you were working a pretty powerful spell, from the scent."

"Oh I..." Howl hesitated, then shrugged. "I used a potion to try to turn my hair blond, but it went purple instead. I heard that I could break the spell by washing my hair in the spring during a star shower."

Calcifer blinked, then blinked again.

Then he threw himself back and howled with laughter.

Howl blinked, looking down at the ball of flame in confusion. "What?" he demanded.

It took a while, but Calcifer managed to get a hold of himself. "You actually believe that? What kind of wizard are you?"

Flustered, Howl glared down at the annoying creature. "I'm a very powerful wizard," he said archly.

"Obviously," Calcifer said with a smirk. "To break a potion that powerful through will alone, you'd have to be, because dunking your head sure didn't help."

Howl walked for a little while. He still felt light as a feather, and figured that even if it took all night to walk back to the mansion, he wouldn't feel a thing. "So Devon tricked me," he said. "Well, the joke's on him, now that I have you."

He looked down at Calcifer. Obviously he'd have to make sure Suliman never discovered his existence, but that wouldn't be difficult. Instead of returning to the mansion, he'd go into the Wastes and make a home for himself.

His feet turned almost of their own accord, heading in an entirely different direction.

Yes...he'd build himself a castle. The most wondrous castle in the whole wide world! And he'd live in it with the one person he knew he could trust, and travel all around learning powerful magics and having new and exciting adventures.

He and Calcifer would do that together, and never have to worry about kissing up to trumped up old ladies, or useless excuses for wizards again.

As he began to walk a bit faster, he smiled.