You think you know how the story goes..
Okay, so i'm listening to slightly angry music at the moment. That is only due to my pissed off mood. I just want to blow up and scream at Chris. Gosh, ugh, ugh, ugh! I'm really pissed off at the moment. We had our little 'talk' last night about how if stuff doesn't change our relationship will just fail. Well, apparently he's mr. fucking perfect and only has screwed up a few times when I screw up on a daliy basis. You know what, I have two words for you buddy: Fuck you!
He was the first one to hurt our relationship, not me. Ding ding ding, fucker. You screwed up first, not me! Quit acting like you're some almighty fucking god who doesn't do anything wrong. You have your fair share of flaws, trust me, i'll fucking tell you. Well, actually i'm not that cruel to actually tell you to your face. So i'll say it now, asshole. He just pisses me off so much. He acts like I have no right to get mad about that dumb little bitch Ashley wanting all up on him, pfft. Fuck that, I have every right in the world to say something. Fuck that little bitch. It's either her or me at this point. I haven't actually told him that, but if I see that little fucking skanky stank whore hug him one more time, then it's that. Me or her. I'm sure he'd pick me. Sometimes, I wish he wouldn't. I get so fed up sometimes that I just wish I could be like Tyler and leave, but pfft, fuck that. I'm stronger then that, I work through the problems...or well, I try to. Oh yeah, you guys haven't heard about Chris' latest fuck up. The other day we were fighting and I was already upset, so I start crying, and at this point, I'm crying so much, I don't want him to see it, I have a cover over my face so he won't see. I tell him to go away and leave me alone, but he won't. He tells me that he is there for me and won't leave me alone because he's my boyfriend, thats what he does, not leave me alone. I fnially calmed down alittle bit and by that point, i'm still crying some, but not as bad as I was ten minutes earlier. So he gets mad about something and is all like.."You just don't care about us, you never try." I just started fucking crying even worse then I was before. Like seriously, how can someone do that. How can someone purposely hurt someone like that? I thought he was different then Tyler, but haha, I guess they have alittle more in common then I fucking thought! I'm just really really pissed off about the whole talk me and Chris had last night. So I finally just blew up about Ashley hugging on him all the time and them two fuck ups flirting and me seeing it. Fuck that, if you're gonna flirt, do it when i'm not around atleast. I don't want them flirting, but espeically not infront of me. Can you say, RE-FUCKING-TARD?! So I basically told him.."Do you know what I feel like when hug that stupid little bitch? I fucking want to pull her hair out, shove her up against a wall, and tell her not to fucking hug you again. I don't want some little 15 year old slut hugging all up on my boyfriend. Fuck that!" That is pretty much what I said when I just blew up at him and he's all like.."I feel like you hold a grudge against me for lieing to you about her at first." I was like.."Yeah I do, and sometimes I don't trust the fact that you don't have feelings for her. I'm sorry, but I can't help the way I feel." He stops the car and just gets out and starts crying because he's so upset by what I said. I'm sorry, I won't tell you how I feel. Ugh, I don't know. I'm just fed up and upset. I lied to him and told him nothing was wrong today, that I was fine. I'm a complete liar. I'm not fine, i'm upset, but hey, he can read me like a book, when he sees me, won't be long before he knows somethings up. Either that or I pretend to be happy. But there will be one second where I slip up and don't act and he catches it. It's how he is. -rolls eyes- Today is the last day of school and i'm in my last class of the day, english. My final grade in here is a B. 84%. Anyway, i'm going. I love you all. Espeically people like: Lana, Chris, Tash, Court, Tegan. Just all you guys are awesome and I love you all very much! You all are great friends and i'm glad I have you..<3 Jenny