(no subject)
I cry
I've cried more in the past few weeks than I ever have, in my life.
I want the pain to stop but it continues to flow through me. It makes me hurt, it makes me sad, but more than anything it feeds my anger. An anger that is burying its roots deep into my heart. I'm feeling more anger now than ever before, and more sadness than ever before.
I punched a hole in a wall today. I'm talking about a wall made from solid hardwood. Not that plaster crap. I was moving stuff around at the barn and I just got so mad I punched the wall. My hand doesn't hurt it's not even cut up or anything. It's weird that in the past I would get mad and punch something hard an hurt myself. But I was so angry this time nothing happened to me. The hole is the size of my head and my fist is like i duno a quarter the size of that. I hit the wall and I could see the wood splintering before exploding outward.
I said I wouldn't hurt him, and I won't but I want to. I want him to stay away form her. I want him to never talk to her again. More than anything I want him to suffer for doing this to me.
I'm going to go now.
Nat thanks for the comment in the last blog. At least I know one person is reading.
I've cried more in the past few weeks than I ever have, in my life.
I want the pain to stop but it continues to flow through me. It makes me hurt, it makes me sad, but more than anything it feeds my anger. An anger that is burying its roots deep into my heart. I'm feeling more anger now than ever before, and more sadness than ever before.
I punched a hole in a wall today. I'm talking about a wall made from solid hardwood. Not that plaster crap. I was moving stuff around at the barn and I just got so mad I punched the wall. My hand doesn't hurt it's not even cut up or anything. It's weird that in the past I would get mad and punch something hard an hurt myself. But I was so angry this time nothing happened to me. The hole is the size of my head and my fist is like i duno a quarter the size of that. I hit the wall and I could see the wood splintering before exploding outward.
I said I wouldn't hurt him, and I won't but I want to. I want him to stay away form her. I want him to never talk to her again. More than anything I want him to suffer for doing this to me.
I'm going to go now.
Nat thanks for the comment in the last blog. At least I know one person is reading.