Tears on my shoulder
I am really starting to have it get to me. I have to hide things. I knew I would have to, but it is starting to hurt me. I found the person in my life I want to spend the rest of my life with and the thought that I might have to be away from them for four years kills me inside. I act like it doesn't bother me but every time I think about it I tear up. I hold him and he falls asleep on me, I look into his eyes and see the best things in life, I kiss him and feel safe, I fall asleep in his arms so I know he will be the first thing I see in the morning. Christ I swear this kid could shit rainbows and butterflies if I asked him too. He is amazing. And right now I am tearing up because if it doesn't work it is going to be because of the military.
I swear this was the biggest mistake ever for me to make. I never would have met him if I didn't make it though. I am so tired of everything being a Catch-22. I don't like the stress and I certainly do not like the emotions that come with this issue. I just want to live with him and be happy. I don't want to have to worry about who knows, who finds out, who sees. I just want it to be us. A normal fucking civilian life in a fucking wonderful state that allows us to get married and have kids. FUCK THIS JOB I don't want it anymore. But of course I have signed my life away....Fucking Great for me GREAT.
DISCLAIMER: I'm emotional because I took a pill before bed and then I started to think about all the things in my life going on right now. This would be the result......
I swear this was the biggest mistake ever for me to make. I never would have met him if I didn't make it though. I am so tired of everything being a Catch-22. I don't like the stress and I certainly do not like the emotions that come with this issue. I just want to live with him and be happy. I don't want to have to worry about who knows, who finds out, who sees. I just want it to be us. A normal fucking civilian life in a fucking wonderful state that allows us to get married and have kids. FUCK THIS JOB I don't want it anymore. But of course I have signed my life away....Fucking Great for me GREAT.
DISCLAIMER: I'm emotional because I took a pill before bed and then I started to think about all the things in my life going on right now. This would be the result......