Personality.
An acquaintance of mine recently commented that another acquaintance had an explicitly snobby arse.
The other acquaintance maintained that her arse had no personality whatsover.
I brought them solutions.
And now I bring them to you, in case you require them as well.
But mostly I'm just updating so my account doesn't expire.
Solutions:
Improve your life!
Do you find yourself feeling weary all the time?
Lacking in energy?
Bored? Tired? Depressed?
Like life has no meaning?
Then you might very well be suffering from Arse Without Personality Syndrome (AWPS).
WHAT IS AWPS?
AWPS is known to effect more than 85% of all online women over the age of 12, 78% of all offline women over the age of 14, and 73% of all men, both online and offline. It's major known variant, Flabby Arse Syndrome (FAS), effects 95% of all people over the age of 60. Extensive research in the field of AWPS shows it to be the leading cause of cigarette smoking, sloth and LDL cholesterol worldwide, not to mention global warming, El Niño, and ozone depletion. It is now known that AWPS, not Vesuvius, wiped out Pompeii. The Druids succumbed to AWPS, as did the fabled continent of Atlantis. Recent research shows that the rats that spread the Black Death all suffered from AWPS. It is an insiduous and little-known disease, claiming annually no lives at all.
HOW TO PREVENT AWPS?
AWPS, till now, was preventable only through diet, excerice, and a healthy lifestyle, and was hence practically impossible to prevent.
But NOT ANY MORE.
The Ted Kennedy Centre for AWPS Research, under the extensive auspices of the Roxanne Barr society and the Jabba the Hut Association, presents REGLUTEALL®, a revolutionary new formula that has a ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-TWO PERCENT success rate against AWPS. Made from oriental herbal extracts, occidental animal extracts, DRIBS of Fluoxetine, and DRABS of Sildenafil, REGLUTEALL® has proven to be the ultimate miracle drug, empowering users within MINUTES of the first dose!! Now, you need no longer feel insecure about your boring keister, REGLUTEALL® will make your clunes the center of the party! REGLUTEALL® even works on people WITHOUT buttocks. In fact, REGLUTEALL® scientists have, in testing on snakes, inadvertently given rise to a new species of buttocked cobra, Naja Ophiorumpus!! In addition, with REGLUTEAL®, you will be able to:
- DEVELOP THE PERFECT FIGURE!
- GAIN AT LEAST 75 IQ POINTS!!
- LIVE UP TO 300 YEARS MORE!!!
- INCREMENT YOUR SEXUAL ENDURANCE EXPONENTIALLY!!!!
Not only that, but REGLUTEALL® has NO KNOWN SIDE-EFFECTS.*
Apply NOW, and get our FREE branded REGLUTEAL® COFFEE MUG and 'I LOVE REGLUTEAL®' T-SHIRT!!**
*Applies only to occasional laboratory strains of E. Coli.
**Available ony in XXXXXXXL size.