crappy mode
Hibernating can be both good and bad. It is good because you take the time to be by yourself and just slack off. It is bad because by taking that time alone, more and more thoughts come rushing into your mind. Inconsistent and unpredictable ones.
It makes you think of old friends from your hometown. It makes you think of the silly things you used to do when the world seemed a little smaller than how it is now. It makes you think of the tiny details in your life - the brand of coffee you always drink, the passwords to your accounts, your lucky pen, your favorite sleeping position, and even the names of your forgotten pets. After those things, you then think of the inevitable future. In the past it seemed so far away, but you never did notice the days as they went by. You never did realize that the future, right now, is standing in front of you, opening its windows for you.
And you, as usual, get scared.
You can never seem to get that off your system. It is very intoxicating, consuming your sanity and even your soberness. Then you realize an important thing; why you have been laying there on your bed all night, without even the thought of sleep running in your mind. You realize that you are lonely - that heavy burden that creates a lump in your throat. You can’t explain why or how it came to be. And worse, you can’t tell when it will go away.
It makes you think of old friends from your hometown. It makes you think of the silly things you used to do when the world seemed a little smaller than how it is now. It makes you think of the tiny details in your life - the brand of coffee you always drink, the passwords to your accounts, your lucky pen, your favorite sleeping position, and even the names of your forgotten pets. After those things, you then think of the inevitable future. In the past it seemed so far away, but you never did notice the days as they went by. You never did realize that the future, right now, is standing in front of you, opening its windows for you.
And you, as usual, get scared.
You can never seem to get that off your system. It is very intoxicating, consuming your sanity and even your soberness. Then you realize an important thing; why you have been laying there on your bed all night, without even the thought of sleep running in your mind. You realize that you are lonely - that heavy burden that creates a lump in your throat. You can’t explain why or how it came to be. And worse, you can’t tell when it will go away.