(no subject)
So I finally decided to revise what I wrote in Mexico and post it properly. Never complete, only pieces. I'll finish something one day.
_______________
She left the country hoping to find, even for a week, something that wasn't already in her life. Maybe she came to find something that she hadn't realised before. . . or to find even a short fling to teach her something new. At the present moment, there was no reason she had left Illinois to begin with. It was unlikely that she'd be one to have a fling, but it would be nice to meet someone. . . and maybe find out that they were, at the most, an hour away from her home.
The arrival came later than it should have, but she only felt that way because flying was not her preferred mode of transportation. It didn't scare her, though; it made her uncomfortable, almost sick. After all the headaches and the nausea, the airport provided no relief from the latter. A swarm of people trying to get her into a program to purchase something swarmed as if she were a carcass and they were the vultures that were meant to prey upon her dead meat . . . Or her wallet, in that case. She put up with them long enough to get a free blanket and a voucher for a morning breakfast, but that breakfast would be long and filled with refusals to purchase something far too unnecessary for her. Upon leaving the airport in a nice and comfortable taxi that was owned by the hotel, she was filled with relief. However, as soon as she realised she would have to deal with the next group - more symbolic of hyenas than vultures - she groaned and looked out the window.
"Will this ever stop?" It was more a complaint than a question, but the driver looked back at her through the rearview mirror.
"Señorita?" She looked up and into the mirror. His face seemed more quizzical than worried.
"Oh, uh . . . nothing. No, nothing at all. I just . . . want a vacation for once. You know, without hassles." A half smile appeared at the right side of her lips and her eyes seemed to twinkle.
"Oh, uh . . . Oh, I understand." He smiled and laughed uncomfortably. It took him a minute to really understand what she meant, but it was more due to the communication barrier. While he understood English, he wasn't too sure what she had meant by "stop" at that very moment. He looked up in the mirrors once again. "So, uh . . . Is this your first time here?" he asked, hoping to make small talk for the short car ride to the hotel. His ploy had worked, and she fell into a short but fun conversation with the handsome and comical man driving her to the resort.
---
The balcony was her only true comfort at the hotel. Yes, the once-small resort had grown in the past four years into a golf and country club complete with a shopping mall and anything else that a person could imagine. You didn't have to leave, but that definitely hindered the experience. However, what experience was there now? Once upon a timeframe that was four years from the present you could stay in the hotel that was still large and had a small shopping center with a grocery store for the convenience of the people staying there. You could leave and go experience old Mexico with hints of American corporation. Never again in Puerto Vallarta could this happen. Now, when you looked around, the whole outskirts town of Nuevo Vallarta was built up into that very golf and country club that she saw around her. A mall had been built, and there no longer were any reasons to go into the small vacation destination nine miles away. There was nothing to experience anymore; everything had become a Mexican branch of an American corporation. This was very depressing to her, and it made her visit even worse.
A few times she saw very handsome men, but they never quite captured her the way she wanted them to. Yes, they did have gorgeous bodies that were tanned from being outside all the time. Yes, they had marvelous facial structure that gave them a charming look to their face. However, none of them struck her as someone she desired. Maybe it was because she knew they wouldn't be at home, or maybe it was that she was tired of hurting from her own mistakes and the actions of others. It would be short term here, but would she find a way to talk to them later? Would they want her to contact them later? These questions would go unanswered, she knew. Maybe I should get out more often, she thought. Her surroundings were different than anything she remembered from her previous trips. Fear was the primary reason she hadn't really left yet, and probably the only thing holding her back. What do I have to lose? How often would I see these people, if ever again? Still, the idea of becoming someone she hadn't been scared her. She wanted to be a new person, but it was difficult to remove herself from what she knew: being quiet and letting people come to her on their own accord. I . . . This person, it isn't the real me. But . . . Where does the real me exist? She wasn't sure of anything at this point.
---
The second day of her trip and all she wanted to do was go home. There was something unavoidably wrong with that kind of an idea, but there wasn't much she could do about it. She had paid for the tickets and the room and had no intentions of leaving early. The best she could do was stick it out at the resort in the sun by the pool or in the gym while making an attempt to sculpt a beautiful body from the lump she had always lived with. Honestly, though, it wasn't as bad as she thought. Still, her self-esteem was almost non-existent; it was difficult to make it through the day without putting herself down for some reason or another.
She had tried to go watch and outdoor show that was being put on at the resort. Her plans failed when they had canceled it fifteen minutes after it started due to a heavy rainstorm. She walked back to the hotel room with a gloomy look upon her face, but for some reason that wasn't really different from the way she usually looked anyway. Smiling was a difficult task; there always had to be a reason to smile for her.
_______________
She left the country hoping to find, even for a week, something that wasn't already in her life. Maybe she came to find something that she hadn't realised before. . . or to find even a short fling to teach her something new. At the present moment, there was no reason she had left Illinois to begin with. It was unlikely that she'd be one to have a fling, but it would be nice to meet someone. . . and maybe find out that they were, at the most, an hour away from her home.
The arrival came later than it should have, but she only felt that way because flying was not her preferred mode of transportation. It didn't scare her, though; it made her uncomfortable, almost sick. After all the headaches and the nausea, the airport provided no relief from the latter. A swarm of people trying to get her into a program to purchase something swarmed as if she were a carcass and they were the vultures that were meant to prey upon her dead meat . . . Or her wallet, in that case. She put up with them long enough to get a free blanket and a voucher for a morning breakfast, but that breakfast would be long and filled with refusals to purchase something far too unnecessary for her. Upon leaving the airport in a nice and comfortable taxi that was owned by the hotel, she was filled with relief. However, as soon as she realised she would have to deal with the next group - more symbolic of hyenas than vultures - she groaned and looked out the window.
"Will this ever stop?" It was more a complaint than a question, but the driver looked back at her through the rearview mirror.
"Señorita?" She looked up and into the mirror. His face seemed more quizzical than worried.
"Oh, uh . . . nothing. No, nothing at all. I just . . . want a vacation for once. You know, without hassles." A half smile appeared at the right side of her lips and her eyes seemed to twinkle.
"Oh, uh . . . Oh, I understand." He smiled and laughed uncomfortably. It took him a minute to really understand what she meant, but it was more due to the communication barrier. While he understood English, he wasn't too sure what she had meant by "stop" at that very moment. He looked up in the mirrors once again. "So, uh . . . Is this your first time here?" he asked, hoping to make small talk for the short car ride to the hotel. His ploy had worked, and she fell into a short but fun conversation with the handsome and comical man driving her to the resort.
---
The balcony was her only true comfort at the hotel. Yes, the once-small resort had grown in the past four years into a golf and country club complete with a shopping mall and anything else that a person could imagine. You didn't have to leave, but that definitely hindered the experience. However, what experience was there now? Once upon a timeframe that was four years from the present you could stay in the hotel that was still large and had a small shopping center with a grocery store for the convenience of the people staying there. You could leave and go experience old Mexico with hints of American corporation. Never again in Puerto Vallarta could this happen. Now, when you looked around, the whole outskirts town of Nuevo Vallarta was built up into that very golf and country club that she saw around her. A mall had been built, and there no longer were any reasons to go into the small vacation destination nine miles away. There was nothing to experience anymore; everything had become a Mexican branch of an American corporation. This was very depressing to her, and it made her visit even worse.
A few times she saw very handsome men, but they never quite captured her the way she wanted them to. Yes, they did have gorgeous bodies that were tanned from being outside all the time. Yes, they had marvelous facial structure that gave them a charming look to their face. However, none of them struck her as someone she desired. Maybe it was because she knew they wouldn't be at home, or maybe it was that she was tired of hurting from her own mistakes and the actions of others. It would be short term here, but would she find a way to talk to them later? Would they want her to contact them later? These questions would go unanswered, she knew. Maybe I should get out more often, she thought. Her surroundings were different than anything she remembered from her previous trips. Fear was the primary reason she hadn't really left yet, and probably the only thing holding her back. What do I have to lose? How often would I see these people, if ever again? Still, the idea of becoming someone she hadn't been scared her. She wanted to be a new person, but it was difficult to remove herself from what she knew: being quiet and letting people come to her on their own accord. I . . . This person, it isn't the real me. But . . . Where does the real me exist? She wasn't sure of anything at this point.
---
The second day of her trip and all she wanted to do was go home. There was something unavoidably wrong with that kind of an idea, but there wasn't much she could do about it. She had paid for the tickets and the room and had no intentions of leaving early. The best she could do was stick it out at the resort in the sun by the pool or in the gym while making an attempt to sculpt a beautiful body from the lump she had always lived with. Honestly, though, it wasn't as bad as she thought. Still, her self-esteem was almost non-existent; it was difficult to make it through the day without putting herself down for some reason or another.
She had tried to go watch and outdoor show that was being put on at the resort. Her plans failed when they had canceled it fifteen minutes after it started due to a heavy rainstorm. She walked back to the hotel room with a gloomy look upon her face, but for some reason that wasn't really different from the way she usually looked anyway. Smiling was a difficult task; there always had to be a reason to smile for her.