Gone
alas, she has left...gone for quite some time and ill likely not see her for many years. i wish i could express to her the great emotions i feel that seem to just well up like...like tears. the kind of tears that just sort of stream down your face gently while you sit there and stare, because its all you can do...you're paralized and cant move or talk, because something's choking you. you stare at your feet, watching the tears turn into small puddles on the floor, and wonder to yourself why things have to end so unhappily...so unfulfilled...so discontentedly. she gives you one last good-bye hug, one that lasts for about a minute, but feels like an eternity. she then gently kisses you on the neck and makes u promise to visit...sucks because you know you probably wont because you wont have the time or your parents wont let you...but never because you forgot. you make the promise and just embrace her one last time before you, yourself leave, looking back only once to see "that guy" holding her close and stroking her hair...you walk away with a heavy heart and a pain in your chest.
i guess i wrote this just to hear myself tell me what's really going on...to remind me of the many...MANY people i should hate but dont because its not in you...it hurts you...
she could have been more than just an awesome friend...but circumstances tend to kick you in the ass a lot...or, just me anyway. and i dont think i just cried because she left...i cried because she left and once again, like every other girl i have ever come to be close with, she left with you being second in her heart. guess there is SOME sense in "you're first, or you're last" huh?
whatever, its 5:00 am...im tired, im confused, im sad, im angry...i just want to sleep and forget what i've felt over the past 6+ years, because its like they say..."forgive AND forget"...
i guess i wrote this just to hear myself tell me what's really going on...to remind me of the many...MANY people i should hate but dont because its not in you...it hurts you...
she could have been more than just an awesome friend...but circumstances tend to kick you in the ass a lot...or, just me anyway. and i dont think i just cried because she left...i cried because she left and once again, like every other girl i have ever come to be close with, she left with you being second in her heart. guess there is SOME sense in "you're first, or you're last" huh?
whatever, its 5:00 am...im tired, im confused, im sad, im angry...i just want to sleep and forget what i've felt over the past 6+ years, because its like they say..."forgive AND forget"...