11 March 2014
Not last night, but the night before, I had a dream that came straight out of a movie - okay, not as refined as that, but the premise and ending were very dramatic and movie-like. Not even really the premise, actually, now that I think about it. I don't remember exactly what was going on, except that I was annoyed because my boyfriend wasn't giving me special treatment, which is probably a demonstration of my own narcissistic tendencies. Anyway, he wasn't giving me special treatment, I was annoyed at him, and the dream ended with us lying in bed, and my alarm went off. At this point, I was still dreaming. I looked at him, expecting him to turn it off, and right at that moment, I woke up, looked next to me, and found that I was alone.
Is it bad that I don't feel like journaling anymore? Like, ever? Even though I'm actually pretty relatively free this week, considering I can only think of one assignment that's actually due. Also, I haven't been reading because I moved out of my now-ex-boyfriend's apartment, and all my stuff is a mess. I don't even know where my textbooks are, which is bad because, well, I need them to do my homework and readings... I'll figure it out eventually, I guess...
I've been texting the Brazilian guy, which probably makes me a terrible person, but whatever. I don't even care right now. What do I want with my life? I don't know. Also, I watched (500) Days of Summer and it was kind of not very good. I mean, the character development was ridiculously stupid - how could a girl who didn't believe in true love or whatever get married to a new guy she knew for about six months? I don't understand? I liked her at the beginning of the movie a lot more. And then when Tom was a fucking mess because she left him - I don't understand that either. I mean, I get that he was sad, but she was just a girl. A girl shouldn't have him so fucked up. And earlier today, I was thinking about my life, and I remembered that it's been years since I seriously, seriously hurt over a guy. That was senior year of high school, when I was convinced I loved my ex and would never love another guy the same. His feelings had changed (though I was the one to break it off initially), and I cried for literally three days straight. Like, I would just randomly start crying, unprovoked. It was terrible. I had to do a stats assignment with a friend, and I just started crying. She made me soup. I still remember this. Friends are great. So I cried for three days straight, then found another boy to latch onto. And maybe I was right, maybe I won't love another guy the same again, because since then I've never been that fucked up by a guy. So maybe Summer was to Tom like what that guy was to me. Either way, it's not like I'm romantically attracted to Brazilian guy, so it's okay if I text him, because I'm not going to be hung up or whatever.
Oh, and operation improve myself hasn't been working. I don't think it's left the planning stage. Which means I should go sleep now so I can wake up early to exercise. Oh god, do I still remember how to even exercise? Did I ever know? Fuck.
(Oh, and hey, the trackpad on my laptop stopped working, so I went out and bought a USB wireless mouse. I also got Forrest Gump for five dollars, which amused me. The fact that I got it, not the fact that it was five dollars.)
Is it bad that I don't feel like journaling anymore? Like, ever? Even though I'm actually pretty relatively free this week, considering I can only think of one assignment that's actually due. Also, I haven't been reading because I moved out of my now-ex-boyfriend's apartment, and all my stuff is a mess. I don't even know where my textbooks are, which is bad because, well, I need them to do my homework and readings... I'll figure it out eventually, I guess...
I've been texting the Brazilian guy, which probably makes me a terrible person, but whatever. I don't even care right now. What do I want with my life? I don't know. Also, I watched (500) Days of Summer and it was kind of not very good. I mean, the character development was ridiculously stupid - how could a girl who didn't believe in true love or whatever get married to a new guy she knew for about six months? I don't understand? I liked her at the beginning of the movie a lot more. And then when Tom was a fucking mess because she left him - I don't understand that either. I mean, I get that he was sad, but she was just a girl. A girl shouldn't have him so fucked up. And earlier today, I was thinking about my life, and I remembered that it's been years since I seriously, seriously hurt over a guy. That was senior year of high school, when I was convinced I loved my ex and would never love another guy the same. His feelings had changed (though I was the one to break it off initially), and I cried for literally three days straight. Like, I would just randomly start crying, unprovoked. It was terrible. I had to do a stats assignment with a friend, and I just started crying. She made me soup. I still remember this. Friends are great. So I cried for three days straight, then found another boy to latch onto. And maybe I was right, maybe I won't love another guy the same again, because since then I've never been that fucked up by a guy. So maybe Summer was to Tom like what that guy was to me. Either way, it's not like I'm romantically attracted to Brazilian guy, so it's okay if I text him, because I'm not going to be hung up or whatever.
Oh, and operation improve myself hasn't been working. I don't think it's left the planning stage. Which means I should go sleep now so I can wake up early to exercise. Oh god, do I still remember how to even exercise? Did I ever know? Fuck.
(Oh, and hey, the trackpad on my laptop stopped working, so I went out and bought a USB wireless mouse. I also got Forrest Gump for five dollars, which amused me. The fact that I got it, not the fact that it was five dollars.)