Interview.
Interviewer: "Great. Well, we just have one final question. Last question: if we offer this job, will you accept it?"
I pause for a moment and break character as my countenance freezes and eyes roll off towards the abstract horizon. The interviewer asked an illegal question. I silently dock him a point as I ponder the nature of such a question. It's a ridiculous question - as there would be no incentive to answer 'no'. It's an unfair question as all interviewee should be given a minimum of twenty-four hours to consider a position - respectfully they deserve seventy-two hours as that is that the gentlemanly agreement.
I think back to my rules of interviewing, where rules may be bent but never broken. Am I lying to state I would accept such position under the pretense that I'm not certain? Is he asking for a commitment or is he asking for my general thoughts under the current constraints of space and time? If I don't immediately answer 'yes' the interview stops. I just need some more time to think about it...I...
My eyes snap back from the horizon to reality as my mind races towards a response. In that moment, my imagination takes over and my inner monologue passionately responds: "Look, I don't know who've you've been talking to or how you found out whatever it is that you know but all that stuff is in the past. That was a long time ago and I'm not like that anymore. I'm better now! I'm much much better. Look, I went to a few therapists and the one was really good, but the other three were not so good and as such I didn't stick around but I got better on my own. My own! So I don't know who you were talking to but they don't know....they don't! They only know a small little fragment and as such it makes the whole story sound crazy, but it's not! I'm not crazy! Ok! So you just take whatever it is that you heard and forget it! You can't just take a slice of a man's life and extrapolate like that! It's not right and it's not right that you went out and did whatever digging that you did! That's not fair...people deserve a second chance! You can't simply hold a man to a psychotic episode that happened years ago! You can't!"
But that was just fantasy. I mumble through the actual response, "Yea, well I'm certainly interested in the position and everything you described. It sounds like a great opportunity and I'd like to move forward with the position." I contemplate the canned answer that satisfies neither him nor I. It was delivered in haste and doesn't quite bend the truth as much as I would have liked nor provide the appropriate level of uncertainty that would leave the door open for interpretation. In my mind I can hear the panel discussing my answer after the interview. It would most likely be the astute female that asked for clarification on answer two: "he didn't answer yes" she would clamor as she brings the group towards her sharp inquiries.