(no subject)
dear loves of my lives,
i remember a diagram i once spent an entire lunch period converting cones and rods into electricity and potential test answers. that diagram is now a direct result as to why i no longer do lunch or have my people call your people. there,head throbbing, i worried adrendaline until my veins bruised against grist, a multiple choice question of pulsebeats filled no. 2 pencil black into the holes in my memory. four chambers, flushing fluid, counterclockwise pattern portrayed in xeroxed accuracy onto my short term here and now. god i hate studying. but here two days faded into the shortening of the seasons, i can't help but feel the length of night, growing like the list of summer reading unread and discarded like the turtlenecks and spiral notebooks and the apples. exchanged for skin and spiral slides and watermelon drooling sugar onto chlorinated tan lips always laughing at the sheer lazy engery of nothing, reading riting and rithmetic run rancid. i can't even decide what day of the week it is. YET, i can't stop dwelling upon the book covers the correction fluid bleach of next year, the unyielding brunt of it all, the idea of school, the idea of that introductory first paragraph detailing what i did over my past summer vacation. that diagram i memorized is on overdrive, hurling frisbee sized discs of red into short winded capillaries unable to unfurl the sails and breathe. i should eat more fish. mom definitely thinks i'm anemic. i can't tell if i'm in love, or in the deepest shit of my life. i got accepted into CCA, however it seems i'm stuck again choosing between my idea of happily ever after (version selfish) or the end done for the good of mankind. i wish there was someone i could explain this to that wouldn't involve my frustrations of time, space, money, or my fucking broken cellphone. god?
you bet.
ter watch out
you better. not
cry.
love,
k.
i remember a diagram i once spent an entire lunch period converting cones and rods into electricity and potential test answers. that diagram is now a direct result as to why i no longer do lunch or have my people call your people. there,head throbbing, i worried adrendaline until my veins bruised against grist, a multiple choice question of pulsebeats filled no. 2 pencil black into the holes in my memory. four chambers, flushing fluid, counterclockwise pattern portrayed in xeroxed accuracy onto my short term here and now. god i hate studying. but here two days faded into the shortening of the seasons, i can't help but feel the length of night, growing like the list of summer reading unread and discarded like the turtlenecks and spiral notebooks and the apples. exchanged for skin and spiral slides and watermelon drooling sugar onto chlorinated tan lips always laughing at the sheer lazy engery of nothing, reading riting and rithmetic run rancid. i can't even decide what day of the week it is. YET, i can't stop dwelling upon the book covers the correction fluid bleach of next year, the unyielding brunt of it all, the idea of school, the idea of that introductory first paragraph detailing what i did over my past summer vacation. that diagram i memorized is on overdrive, hurling frisbee sized discs of red into short winded capillaries unable to unfurl the sails and breathe. i should eat more fish. mom definitely thinks i'm anemic. i can't tell if i'm in love, or in the deepest shit of my life. i got accepted into CCA, however it seems i'm stuck again choosing between my idea of happily ever after (version selfish) or the end done for the good of mankind. i wish there was someone i could explain this to that wouldn't involve my frustrations of time, space, money, or my fucking broken cellphone. god?
you bet.
ter watch out
you better. not
cry.
love,
k.