(no subject)
Alex and I got into a fight last night. Man that boy just..pushed me over the edge. I do remember telling him to go screw himself, fuck you, i hate you...the works. I dont really want to talk about what he did to make me just..so upset, mainly because all of you would not understand, and i know you wouldn't. Because you guys don't know me at all.
Thats one of the reasons what he said hurt me so much, i thought he knew me and was..understanding. I was wrong. Very wrong. well anyway i was crying for like an hour and yelling at him at the same time. He was crying to and told me he realized ( after i had finished my rant) how big of an asshole he was by saying that to me ( he really is ) and such, so..i know he is sorry but the thing that is funny is...that..he did not even say he was sorry to me. And i was like..hmm well hes crying and everythiung and says he realizes hes a dick but..yet, he has not said sorry to me once this entire time. Idk we were both rather puzzled as to why i had not dumped him.
Truthfully...i seriously considered it. He really hurt me, i dont think i have been that upset and that hurt in a really long time.(since jon) I just..dont know what to do, I think i still love him, but im not sure. he hurt me way to much this time. And, i dont know if i want to be with someone who....just, does that. This is not the first time he made me cry, but it may be the last. I dont know if im staying with him or not. i dont know if i could live without him, or not either though. I really like him, and i did love him but i just dont know anymore. if he was not so wonderful, i would have ended it for sure but...i just..cant.
Thats one of the reasons what he said hurt me so much, i thought he knew me and was..understanding. I was wrong. Very wrong. well anyway i was crying for like an hour and yelling at him at the same time. He was crying to and told me he realized ( after i had finished my rant) how big of an asshole he was by saying that to me ( he really is ) and such, so..i know he is sorry but the thing that is funny is...that..he did not even say he was sorry to me. And i was like..hmm well hes crying and everythiung and says he realizes hes a dick but..yet, he has not said sorry to me once this entire time. Idk we were both rather puzzled as to why i had not dumped him.
Truthfully...i seriously considered it. He really hurt me, i dont think i have been that upset and that hurt in a really long time.(since jon) I just..dont know what to do, I think i still love him, but im not sure. he hurt me way to much this time. And, i dont know if i want to be with someone who....just, does that. This is not the first time he made me cry, but it may be the last. I dont know if im staying with him or not. i dont know if i could live without him, or not either though. I really like him, and i did love him but i just dont know anymore. if he was not so wonderful, i would have ended it for sure but...i just..cant.