(no subject)
The past week of my life has been really fucking interesting.
I've talked to Carly on several occassions and I'm glad to be able to call her a new friend.
Scorned lovers tend to have LOTS of things in common with one another.
Such as played out murder scenes in our heads etc etc.
I think I just want to have closeness with people again.
I'm tired of pushing myself away from everyone and everything I know.
It isn't fair to them and it isn't fair to me.
I want to apologize to anyone I've been even remotely bitchy to.
I think it's this sobriety thing that's getting to me.
Makes me cranky but hey you gotta start somewhere right?
No smoking. No drinking. No drugs.
I wish I had a support group to go to but I'm so far away from everything now and I still don't have my license.
If I asked my parents to take me they'd think I was crazy and would probably try to start prying into my life which is never good.
The other night when Shay called me while I was bawling over Khrystah's dumb ass she offered nothing more than comfort to me.
Told me it was going to be ok and that it was just preparing me for whatever was going to happen next.
I don't think I wanted to hug her more than I did that day.
Knowing that she could be there to offer me comfort like that in spite of everything that has gone on between us was what really got me.
I think after I got off the phone with her I cried more because of that.
I've been feeling sick a lot lately and I know for sure that it's my ulcers.
Hopefully I'll be ok.
I still want to try to work on my friendship with Shay among other things.
Not with her but with other people.
People I used to be close to that aren't around anymore.
Things like that.
I'll figure things out.
I hope...
I've talked to Carly on several occassions and I'm glad to be able to call her a new friend.
Scorned lovers tend to have LOTS of things in common with one another.
Such as played out murder scenes in our heads etc etc.
I think I just want to have closeness with people again.
I'm tired of pushing myself away from everyone and everything I know.
It isn't fair to them and it isn't fair to me.
I want to apologize to anyone I've been even remotely bitchy to.
I think it's this sobriety thing that's getting to me.
Makes me cranky but hey you gotta start somewhere right?
No smoking. No drinking. No drugs.
I wish I had a support group to go to but I'm so far away from everything now and I still don't have my license.
If I asked my parents to take me they'd think I was crazy and would probably try to start prying into my life which is never good.
The other night when Shay called me while I was bawling over Khrystah's dumb ass she offered nothing more than comfort to me.
Told me it was going to be ok and that it was just preparing me for whatever was going to happen next.
I don't think I wanted to hug her more than I did that day.
Knowing that she could be there to offer me comfort like that in spite of everything that has gone on between us was what really got me.
I think after I got off the phone with her I cried more because of that.
I've been feeling sick a lot lately and I know for sure that it's my ulcers.
Hopefully I'll be ok.
I still want to try to work on my friendship with Shay among other things.
Not with her but with other people.
People I used to be close to that aren't around anymore.
Things like that.
I'll figure things out.
I hope...