I realized something at work today
I want my own Gollum to drag around on a leash and make him do my evil bidding, especially at work. I could sic him on people that irked me and tell him that a couple of teenagers who snuck into Aqua Teen Hunger Force want to hurt the precious and command him to bring them to me (with his help I might even be better than the esteemed Mr. Jacob Collins in that field) and generally get into the most hilarious random hijinks with him.