(no subject)
Just a few things...
I only order things online so often because I like seeing the package arrive at my doorstep.
It baffles me why some people think that by putting more complicated words together in fragmented sentences equals good poetry.
(It baffles me why sometimes it does.)
Why is it that we expect people to respond to overt proclamations of fondness for another when we ourselves are so repulsed by those who follow us around with puppy dog eyes?
I wish my mother would bring me soup to my room when I wasn't sick.
Teaching sexuality as a sin is the equivalent of teaching people not to run when exiting a building on fire. You might think it's wrong, but someone's going to do it anyway.
Walnuts are the hardest nuts to crack, which is a shame, because ultimately they are pretty delicious.
I don't think it's a problem to draw on the walls.
I wish people would love you as much as they did the first time they met you.
(especially your parents)
I certainly have underestimated the use of screwdrivers, both physically, linguistically, and liquor-ically.
I've just learned that my movie collection has no rhyme or reason and is filled with awful horror movies and tacky comedies. Jolly day!
It depresses me more than anything that I will never be able to read every amazing book there is in the world by the time I die.
I never realized how depressing the world could be until I started meeting other humans. Then I realized how much people over exaggerate and thought maybe the world isn't depressing and maybe it's just the people.
I only like drums to be played alone if I am the one playing them.
(Unless you are playing, "We Will Rock You.")
Every person should have a built in ego checker, this will go on at every door.
(That includes the gateway to the internet)
Those who commit petty crimes should be forced to deal with five thousand average american retail customers.
British is always better.
(They used the flag colors in a cooler way than we ever could have. I mean come on, HORIZONTAL stripes? No wonder we look like the fattest country in the world.)
We have automatic toilets, can we have automatic drinks? Look bartender, I'm really sick of waving my arms around, accidentally hitting the exposed breasts of the more risqué members of my gender, and pissing off everyone else around me just so you can make me a Grateful Dead for 8 bucks that has half a shot of Georgi in it. I'm seriously about to walk over to the Mobil station across the street and get a beer from there, then come back and pretend you gave it to me. Not that you noticed anyway, seeing as you're too busy goofing off with the "regulars".
I wish there was more of a use for candles in my life, but I always end up setting the edges of my book on fire.
Don't attach the ending "-aholic" to anything that you could possibly be addicted to doing. Just add the "-ic" and see if it works better, may not sound as great, but hey, that's why they did with alcoHOL, you shopic.
I don't believe in god, nor the church. However, I sometimes feel the urge to go for the music, the stained glass windows and architecture, and of course, those delicious flattened pieces of bread with the cross stamped on to them.
I only order things online so often because I like seeing the package arrive at my doorstep.
It baffles me why some people think that by putting more complicated words together in fragmented sentences equals good poetry.
(It baffles me why sometimes it does.)
Why is it that we expect people to respond to overt proclamations of fondness for another when we ourselves are so repulsed by those who follow us around with puppy dog eyes?
I wish my mother would bring me soup to my room when I wasn't sick.
Teaching sexuality as a sin is the equivalent of teaching people not to run when exiting a building on fire. You might think it's wrong, but someone's going to do it anyway.
Walnuts are the hardest nuts to crack, which is a shame, because ultimately they are pretty delicious.
I don't think it's a problem to draw on the walls.
I wish people would love you as much as they did the first time they met you.
(especially your parents)
I certainly have underestimated the use of screwdrivers, both physically, linguistically, and liquor-ically.
I've just learned that my movie collection has no rhyme or reason and is filled with awful horror movies and tacky comedies. Jolly day!
It depresses me more than anything that I will never be able to read every amazing book there is in the world by the time I die.
I never realized how depressing the world could be until I started meeting other humans. Then I realized how much people over exaggerate and thought maybe the world isn't depressing and maybe it's just the people.
I only like drums to be played alone if I am the one playing them.
(Unless you are playing, "We Will Rock You.")
Every person should have a built in ego checker, this will go on at every door.
(That includes the gateway to the internet)
Those who commit petty crimes should be forced to deal with five thousand average american retail customers.
British is always better.
(They used the flag colors in a cooler way than we ever could have. I mean come on, HORIZONTAL stripes? No wonder we look like the fattest country in the world.)
We have automatic toilets, can we have automatic drinks? Look bartender, I'm really sick of waving my arms around, accidentally hitting the exposed breasts of the more risqué members of my gender, and pissing off everyone else around me just so you can make me a Grateful Dead for 8 bucks that has half a shot of Georgi in it. I'm seriously about to walk over to the Mobil station across the street and get a beer from there, then come back and pretend you gave it to me. Not that you noticed anyway, seeing as you're too busy goofing off with the "regulars".
I wish there was more of a use for candles in my life, but I always end up setting the edges of my book on fire.
Don't attach the ending "-aholic" to anything that you could possibly be addicted to doing. Just add the "-ic" and see if it works better, may not sound as great, but hey, that's why they did with alcoHOL, you shopic.
I don't believe in god, nor the church. However, I sometimes feel the urge to go for the music, the stained glass windows and architecture, and of course, those delicious flattened pieces of bread with the cross stamped on to them.