Headache
I feel like I've checked the clock three times in three hours, and each time it's still 9:30. I remember an ex-girlfriend who believed this kind of personal sense of time allowed her to drive across town in under five minutes. Not to diss Wiccans, but she felt it was one of her powers. "Luck is probability taken personally." - Chip Denman. Remember that next time you check your horoscope.
Anyway, I've just taken some acetaminophen and I'm waiting for the headache to stop. I think this time it might not be a) allergies, which can also give me a sore throat and drippy, snorty, soggy-nose, or b) caffeine addiction, which can also give me nausea. No sir, it might be a genuine cold. If I begin chain-vomiting, however, I know it will be c) food poisoning.
My nose has been generally clogged all winter, just FYI. The sneezing has been fun, but not while eating. The weirdest thing about a headache is how it compels you to massage your shoulders, neck, and anything in the general area. I said that wrong. What I meant is, the weirdest thing is that it works. As long as your hand is there, doing something, your head hurts less.
It would be nice if different kinds of headaches could be solved this way. Did Michael Moore say something incredibly stupid again? Massage it away! Or maybe Sarah Palin wildly misrepresented the facts? Massage them away. Or maybe it's Fox News dropping a blatant untruth and quietly letting it seethe in the hearts of listeners. Let's just massage the facts away!
These are the polluters of our national discourse. We allow them to dump filthy lies. And when they're caught, there's no clean up. Look at ACORN. The name is synonymous with fraud, and yet it turns out those tapes were doctored, the "pimp" was not dressed as a pimp while at the ACORN offices, told them he was trying to help protect his friend from a violent pimp, and in the criminal investigation, ACORN was cleared of all charges.
Like my headache, certain things that annoy me briefly disappear when I cherry-pick my information, or refuse to credit intelligence to anyone who disagrees with me. But then I stop, and the headache immediately returns. Hmm. I guess it is the same, after all. when I massage my head or shoulders, it isn't relief I'm feeling. It's distraction.
Anyway, I've just taken some acetaminophen and I'm waiting for the headache to stop. I think this time it might not be a) allergies, which can also give me a sore throat and drippy, snorty, soggy-nose, or b) caffeine addiction, which can also give me nausea. No sir, it might be a genuine cold. If I begin chain-vomiting, however, I know it will be c) food poisoning.
My nose has been generally clogged all winter, just FYI. The sneezing has been fun, but not while eating. The weirdest thing about a headache is how it compels you to massage your shoulders, neck, and anything in the general area. I said that wrong. What I meant is, the weirdest thing is that it works. As long as your hand is there, doing something, your head hurts less.
It would be nice if different kinds of headaches could be solved this way. Did Michael Moore say something incredibly stupid again? Massage it away! Or maybe Sarah Palin wildly misrepresented the facts? Massage them away. Or maybe it's Fox News dropping a blatant untruth and quietly letting it seethe in the hearts of listeners. Let's just massage the facts away!
These are the polluters of our national discourse. We allow them to dump filthy lies. And when they're caught, there's no clean up. Look at ACORN. The name is synonymous with fraud, and yet it turns out those tapes were doctored, the "pimp" was not dressed as a pimp while at the ACORN offices, told them he was trying to help protect his friend from a violent pimp, and in the criminal investigation, ACORN was cleared of all charges.
Like my headache, certain things that annoy me briefly disappear when I cherry-pick my information, or refuse to credit intelligence to anyone who disagrees with me. But then I stop, and the headache immediately returns. Hmm. I guess it is the same, after all. when I massage my head or shoulders, it isn't relief I'm feeling. It's distraction.