idreamofhillaryidreamofbarack.com
This site is collecting people's dreams about the candidates. It's anonymous, but they ask that you submit a few personal details they can post your dream under. Some are very nice and rather touching, and some are pretty awful anxiety dreams, but most are absolutely cracktastic. Some of my favorites:
I dreamed I was at an Obama rally. As he spoke, he began to raise his hands in the air and levitate small objects around him. Everyone was shocked at first, but quickly accepted his abilities as real. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with what had happened, like he didn't mean to do what he did.
___
I was walking against the current through a crowd of people and Barack was walking toward me. He was so magnetic and seemed to be emitting a golden light -- very shiny. I couldn’t look away. He smiled at me, and just as he was next to me I thought, I have to vote for Obama. Once he was gone, however, I snapped back into the "real world" and wondered what had just happened. I felt as though some spell had been cast over me, and I was pretty angry at him.
___
Last night I had a dream that Barack showed up at wedding reception and did a funky-ass dance to the tune of the Jimmy Castor Bunch's funk masterpiece Troglodyte and I was sold!!!
___
I was working in a giant field that had been freshly tilled and Barack was showing me how to pick out the rocks from the soil and toss them to the outskirts. As I pitched my first few rocks he was very encouraging, and placed his hand on my shoulder at one point to offer me kudos for my efforts. There was a crowd of dusty onlookers that were watching him instruct me. I remember feeling excited about what we might plant there.
___
I was running some errands with Barack. Michelle was in the hospital after having a cyst removed, and one of our errands was to pick her up. Barack was driving an SUV and we were having difficulty finding a parking spot near the hospital. We drove down a narrow street with cars parked on both sides, then it dead-ended. It didn’t look like it was possible to turn around. I became very tense. I thought, Oh, no, he’s going to get very angry and run into all these cars when he tries to turn around. Then the media will find out and he’ll ruin his chances of being nominated. But he very cooly did a 7 or 8 point turn, deftly turning the car around, and we headed back up the street. I thought to myself, Well, I’m voting for him.
___
I dreamed I had to get something signed by Barack Obama. Instead of sleek campaign headquarters, it was him at a messy desk in a dusty, cluttered room, like where a professor would be. Obama told me he was busy and to have a seat.
I sit in front of his desk and pick up a magazine. Obama gets on the phone to someone connected to the campaign. He speaks in a low, quiet voice, but then I start to notice something strange: Obama has an incredibly dirty mouth. He's on the phone, cussing up a storm. The phone seems to rile him and as he gets angrier, his voice gets louder and louder, and his language gets more and more profane and deranged. I try hard to concentrate on my magazine, but the more I try to, the more disturbed I become. He never yells at me, but he is positively out-of-control with rage at this point.
Then Michelle Obama enters the room, also furious. She starts yelling at her husband, and the reason why becomes clear very quickly -- she's brandishing two Playboy magazines, which she apparently found in Barack's desk. Apparently, he promised her he would get rid of them and reneged. Michelle is raging away, but at this point, Obama seems to have calmed down. Instead of answering Michelle, he just sits at his desk and takes it, a big dumb grin playing across his face. The more she threatens him, the bigger the grin and the more smug his body language becomes. More people gather, mostly women. At this point, the entire office seems to be yelling at Obama, while he does nothing. Nobody notices me as I tiptoe out of the room, paperwork still unsigned.
___
Obama came to visit Howard, and he was really funny, but in a rude way -- he wouldn't put out his cigarette. I was the only person who thought it was funny and was laughing.
___
I was watching the Democratic National Convention. Al Gore was giving a very powerful speech. He chose that moment to tell everybody that he'd thought about it and, yes, had had decided what the heck, he would run for president after all. Everybody went nuts. I looked at Barack, who was sitting with the other candidates. Edwards was there, too. They all look startled. I turned to my my wife and said, Wow, Obama looks upset.
___
Barack got elected President and I was crying out of happiness.
___
The Hillary section has some interesting running themes:
Hillary was in my kitchen warming me up some leftover risotto. I was hungry, and kept asking, Hey, Hillary, how's the risotto coming?
She kept saying, Just five more minutes! But I never got the risotto.
___
So there was a jazz band playing. Hillary was in front of the stage with the mike, trying to be hip and somewhat relating to black people using language like Let me tell y'all about it!
Then she started to play the saxophone - she sounded awful. She obviously didn't fit in with the band. She was wearing a red dress and pearls, way out of her league in terms of hipness. It was unclear whether she had been invited to play, or the band had been paid for her to sit in, or she just showed up.
___
I was at a Kmart and Hillary was speaking to a small crowd. I began feeling really sorry for her and hugged her. Hillary asked me if I had voted for her. I hesitated and then said Yes, even though I hadn't.
___
I had a dream about Hillary the other night where I was campaigning for her, doing cold calls, and she walks by me and starts laughing at my afro - just really digging into me. It felt very upsetting.
___
I was walking with Hillary down by the railroad tracks in my hometown, Illinois. She had her arm around my shoulder and I had my arm around her waist and she felt soft and nice, like my mom. I wondered if people would think I was Chelsea. After walking in comfort and silence for a while, I quietly said, Hillary, I love you. She said, in a very harsh voice, Well, Obama's policies and his personality are just so STUPID. And the spell was broken.
Then I had to crawl on the ground while Hillary kept walking upright. I had to crawl under a big salt overhang and the ground was made of salt crystals. I saw a small pink penis lying on a slab of salt on the ground, but Hillary couldn't see it because she was so far above me and not looking down.
___
I was at some kind of county fair and Hillary walked up to me and said Hi Dan! (I didn’t know how she knew my name.) I’m Hillary Clinton. Are you going to vote for me?
I told her that I hadn’t decided yet, but wanted to know more about what she stood for. She told me that she had to go to the restroom, but that if I went with her into the bathroom she would talk to me while she took care of business. I followed her into the restroom and she went into one of the stalls. She started talking about her platform but I wasn’t paying attention because I was trying to get the bathroom door locked. I didn’t want to get caught in a women’s restroom with Hillary Clinton.
She came walking out of the stall with a Dole pineapple whip (like they sell at Disneyland). She said, Look what I found in the stall. This is delicious!
I told her that she shouldn’t be eating that because who knows where it came from and who knows how long it had been in there, but she wouldn't listen. I said I had to go, but I would definitely be voting for her. I was lying so I could get away. She thanked me and asked if I knew where to get some ribs.
___
Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush were having a secret love affair, and for some reason, I was sharing a one-bedroom apartment (and a comically over-sized bed) with them. At some point they wanted to get freaky, and I stomped out of the bedroom in a huff.
Next thing I know, I’m in the kitchen frying bacon and suddenly Bill Clinton comes bursting in, all Where are they!? I gesture toward the bedroom with my spatula. As he’s heading back there, I ask him to please not hurt anyone or break anything. He turns to me and starts laughing.
“Sweetie, I ain’t gonna hurt nobody,” he says. “I just wanna see what the hay-ull this looks like.”
Then he starts hitting on me.
___
It doesn't seem like a lot of people dream about McCain, but when they do, it's pretty intricate:
John McCain was speaking at a White House press conference, standing behind the blue, crested podium. He was speaking Vietnamese and talking about how farmers would begin to pool their assets. (I didn't understand the language, but I knew what he was talking about.) He had been brainwashed by the communists as a prisoner of war; it had been a conspiracy from the beginning. Then George W. Bush came out from behind the curtains with white powder on his nose and started yelling and pointing at McCain saying, Communist sleeper cell! Then John McCain turned into Dick Cheney with a rifle in his hand and started shooting.
I dreamed I was at an Obama rally. As he spoke, he began to raise his hands in the air and levitate small objects around him. Everyone was shocked at first, but quickly accepted his abilities as real. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with what had happened, like he didn't mean to do what he did.
___
I was walking against the current through a crowd of people and Barack was walking toward me. He was so magnetic and seemed to be emitting a golden light -- very shiny. I couldn’t look away. He smiled at me, and just as he was next to me I thought, I have to vote for Obama. Once he was gone, however, I snapped back into the "real world" and wondered what had just happened. I felt as though some spell had been cast over me, and I was pretty angry at him.
___
Last night I had a dream that Barack showed up at wedding reception and did a funky-ass dance to the tune of the Jimmy Castor Bunch's funk masterpiece Troglodyte and I was sold!!!
___
I was working in a giant field that had been freshly tilled and Barack was showing me how to pick out the rocks from the soil and toss them to the outskirts. As I pitched my first few rocks he was very encouraging, and placed his hand on my shoulder at one point to offer me kudos for my efforts. There was a crowd of dusty onlookers that were watching him instruct me. I remember feeling excited about what we might plant there.
___
I was running some errands with Barack. Michelle was in the hospital after having a cyst removed, and one of our errands was to pick her up. Barack was driving an SUV and we were having difficulty finding a parking spot near the hospital. We drove down a narrow street with cars parked on both sides, then it dead-ended. It didn’t look like it was possible to turn around. I became very tense. I thought, Oh, no, he’s going to get very angry and run into all these cars when he tries to turn around. Then the media will find out and he’ll ruin his chances of being nominated. But he very cooly did a 7 or 8 point turn, deftly turning the car around, and we headed back up the street. I thought to myself, Well, I’m voting for him.
___
I dreamed I had to get something signed by Barack Obama. Instead of sleek campaign headquarters, it was him at a messy desk in a dusty, cluttered room, like where a professor would be. Obama told me he was busy and to have a seat.
I sit in front of his desk and pick up a magazine. Obama gets on the phone to someone connected to the campaign. He speaks in a low, quiet voice, but then I start to notice something strange: Obama has an incredibly dirty mouth. He's on the phone, cussing up a storm. The phone seems to rile him and as he gets angrier, his voice gets louder and louder, and his language gets more and more profane and deranged. I try hard to concentrate on my magazine, but the more I try to, the more disturbed I become. He never yells at me, but he is positively out-of-control with rage at this point.
Then Michelle Obama enters the room, also furious. She starts yelling at her husband, and the reason why becomes clear very quickly -- she's brandishing two Playboy magazines, which she apparently found in Barack's desk. Apparently, he promised her he would get rid of them and reneged. Michelle is raging away, but at this point, Obama seems to have calmed down. Instead of answering Michelle, he just sits at his desk and takes it, a big dumb grin playing across his face. The more she threatens him, the bigger the grin and the more smug his body language becomes. More people gather, mostly women. At this point, the entire office seems to be yelling at Obama, while he does nothing. Nobody notices me as I tiptoe out of the room, paperwork still unsigned.
___
Obama came to visit Howard, and he was really funny, but in a rude way -- he wouldn't put out his cigarette. I was the only person who thought it was funny and was laughing.
___
I was watching the Democratic National Convention. Al Gore was giving a very powerful speech. He chose that moment to tell everybody that he'd thought about it and, yes, had had decided what the heck, he would run for president after all. Everybody went nuts. I looked at Barack, who was sitting with the other candidates. Edwards was there, too. They all look startled. I turned to my my wife and said, Wow, Obama looks upset.
___
Barack got elected President and I was crying out of happiness.
___
The Hillary section has some interesting running themes:
Hillary was in my kitchen warming me up some leftover risotto. I was hungry, and kept asking, Hey, Hillary, how's the risotto coming?
She kept saying, Just five more minutes! But I never got the risotto.
___
So there was a jazz band playing. Hillary was in front of the stage with the mike, trying to be hip and somewhat relating to black people using language like Let me tell y'all about it!
Then she started to play the saxophone - she sounded awful. She obviously didn't fit in with the band. She was wearing a red dress and pearls, way out of her league in terms of hipness. It was unclear whether she had been invited to play, or the band had been paid for her to sit in, or she just showed up.
___
I was at a Kmart and Hillary was speaking to a small crowd. I began feeling really sorry for her and hugged her. Hillary asked me if I had voted for her. I hesitated and then said Yes, even though I hadn't.
___
I had a dream about Hillary the other night where I was campaigning for her, doing cold calls, and she walks by me and starts laughing at my afro - just really digging into me. It felt very upsetting.
___
I was walking with Hillary down by the railroad tracks in my hometown, Illinois. She had her arm around my shoulder and I had my arm around her waist and she felt soft and nice, like my mom. I wondered if people would think I was Chelsea. After walking in comfort and silence for a while, I quietly said, Hillary, I love you. She said, in a very harsh voice, Well, Obama's policies and his personality are just so STUPID. And the spell was broken.
Then I had to crawl on the ground while Hillary kept walking upright. I had to crawl under a big salt overhang and the ground was made of salt crystals. I saw a small pink penis lying on a slab of salt on the ground, but Hillary couldn't see it because she was so far above me and not looking down.
___
I was at some kind of county fair and Hillary walked up to me and said Hi Dan! (I didn’t know how she knew my name.) I’m Hillary Clinton. Are you going to vote for me?
I told her that I hadn’t decided yet, but wanted to know more about what she stood for. She told me that she had to go to the restroom, but that if I went with her into the bathroom she would talk to me while she took care of business. I followed her into the restroom and she went into one of the stalls. She started talking about her platform but I wasn’t paying attention because I was trying to get the bathroom door locked. I didn’t want to get caught in a women’s restroom with Hillary Clinton.
She came walking out of the stall with a Dole pineapple whip (like they sell at Disneyland). She said, Look what I found in the stall. This is delicious!
I told her that she shouldn’t be eating that because who knows where it came from and who knows how long it had been in there, but she wouldn't listen. I said I had to go, but I would definitely be voting for her. I was lying so I could get away. She thanked me and asked if I knew where to get some ribs.
___
Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush were having a secret love affair, and for some reason, I was sharing a one-bedroom apartment (and a comically over-sized bed) with them. At some point they wanted to get freaky, and I stomped out of the bedroom in a huff.
Next thing I know, I’m in the kitchen frying bacon and suddenly Bill Clinton comes bursting in, all Where are they!? I gesture toward the bedroom with my spatula. As he’s heading back there, I ask him to please not hurt anyone or break anything. He turns to me and starts laughing.
“Sweetie, I ain’t gonna hurt nobody,” he says. “I just wanna see what the hay-ull this looks like.”
Then he starts hitting on me.
___
It doesn't seem like a lot of people dream about McCain, but when they do, it's pretty intricate:
John McCain was speaking at a White House press conference, standing behind the blue, crested podium. He was speaking Vietnamese and talking about how farmers would begin to pool their assets. (I didn't understand the language, but I knew what he was talking about.) He had been brainwashed by the communists as a prisoner of war; it had been a conspiracy from the beginning. Then George W. Bush came out from behind the curtains with white powder on his nose and started yelling and pointing at McCain saying, Communist sleeper cell! Then John McCain turned into Dick Cheney with a rifle in his hand and started shooting.