After fourteen years of writing fic, am I really as awful and underdeveloped as EQD tells me I am?
Another day, another EQD rejection. :( This time up for the chop is Friends and Enemies, a rather long fic I'm only ten chapters into.
Dear Scribbler,
Thank you for taking the time to submit this work to us here at the fan-fiction desk at Equestria Daily! We are glad to be able to give the story a review.
Unfortunately, the story does not currently fit our needs, and we can not recommend it for posting on the blog.
The principal problem that we have with the story is how rushed and unevenly handled it feels. The action simply rolls on an on, not giving the reader the chance to develop any real understanding of what has transpired. The reader can barely comprehend what has occurred before being asked to take in new information.
The story also simply presents information, and does not actively take the time to describe or grow this world that you are building for us. The story has lots of "tell", and not show. Think about how many times the character, or the narrative, simply stand there and tell us about this world. The reader wants to know what has gone so wrong that Equestria has fallen to the griffins, but we have to wait through multiple chapters before that happens.
The grim feeling of the work needs to be balanced with the development of the narrative. This story plunges us directly into a combat scenario that the reader is not given a chance to understand. We hope that you see our point, and what our concerns are.
This story has good grammar, and it has a storyline that could be developed cleverly. We hope that you will consider our concerns, and we wish you the best of luck with your revisions.
While I can see some of their points (upon reflection, yes, I've made the cardinal mistake of telling in places), some do annoy me; especially the 'reader is not given a chance to understand' bit. It's a multi-chapter. I always thought the point of those was not to give away everything in the first chapter and treat your reader like they're intelligent enough to put together clues to work out what has transpired before the current moment.
While I concede to their point, I can't help feeling hurt even though I told myself I wouldn't. I was even trying to think up the reasons it would get rejected, but got those wrong too. I thought the primary one would be either Rainbow Dash's injuries or the fact that a country of griffins has been done before. Now I feel like warm-up dog crap splattered all over the inside of the microwave. Feh.
Dear Scribbler,
Thank you for taking the time to submit this work to us here at the fan-fiction desk at Equestria Daily! We are glad to be able to give the story a review.
Unfortunately, the story does not currently fit our needs, and we can not recommend it for posting on the blog.
The principal problem that we have with the story is how rushed and unevenly handled it feels. The action simply rolls on an on, not giving the reader the chance to develop any real understanding of what has transpired. The reader can barely comprehend what has occurred before being asked to take in new information.
The story also simply presents information, and does not actively take the time to describe or grow this world that you are building for us. The story has lots of "tell", and not show. Think about how many times the character, or the narrative, simply stand there and tell us about this world. The reader wants to know what has gone so wrong that Equestria has fallen to the griffins, but we have to wait through multiple chapters before that happens.
The grim feeling of the work needs to be balanced with the development of the narrative. This story plunges us directly into a combat scenario that the reader is not given a chance to understand. We hope that you see our point, and what our concerns are.
This story has good grammar, and it has a storyline that could be developed cleverly. We hope that you will consider our concerns, and we wish you the best of luck with your revisions.
While I can see some of their points (upon reflection, yes, I've made the cardinal mistake of telling in places), some do annoy me; especially the 'reader is not given a chance to understand' bit. It's a multi-chapter. I always thought the point of those was not to give away everything in the first chapter and treat your reader like they're intelligent enough to put together clues to work out what has transpired before the current moment.
While I concede to their point, I can't help feeling hurt even though I told myself I wouldn't. I was even trying to think up the reasons it would get rejected, but got those wrong too. I thought the primary one would be either Rainbow Dash's injuries or the fact that a country of griffins has been done before. Now I feel like warm-up dog crap splattered all over the inside of the microwave. Feh.