Wow...
So I was sure that I posted a Meyer's Briggs Personality test result somewhere in my journal, some where. I spent an hour reading through 4 years of entries. All I can say is wow, and then feel pretty embarrassed. I feel embarassed because I wrote some silly sounding depressing journals. Yes, I was very depressed for a couple of years and very frustrated at myself. I kept gaining weight and which just caused a vicious cycle being more depressed and frustrated.
No, I won't delete any of it, I'm going to leave it up as embarrassing as it is because I like looking back on things that make me embarrassed now and reflect and try to grow and mature. I can honestly say that I am a much more introspective emotionally matured individual now than I was 6 months ago, or a year ago. I like to see what I thought then and document myself., as embarrassing as that is.
Less than a year ago, I acquired a house! Success. This process I think make me mature a bunch. Then I radically changed my diet in early May. I'm mostly a carnivore now. I try and get 130-160 grams of protein in a day and I eat a ton of animal based fat (40+ grams a day). Full fat everything (full fat usually means less processed), when I make sweet potato fries, I fry them in lard, frying them in bacon fat is pure decadence. I eat much less carbs and sugars than I once did, I like to keep those under 100 grams a day, preferably under 60 grams. I can't believe I was drinking 8 glasses of grape juice a day, eating 2 scones (400-600 calories a day) in addition to two bowls of pasta for dinner. Carb city and hardly any fat. As a result I had tons of mood-swings, constant glucose crashes, and suffered from actual chemical depression for quite some time. The high amounts of carbs and sugar caused my body to retain weight like a machine. No wonder I couldn't lost anything and was very frustrated. However, now I'm a little older, a little more experienced and have learned a metric ton about the human endocrine system.
Now I feel fantastic. I'm always happy and up-beat. I haven't felt depressed since I started this diet, and I've dropped over 20 pounds (in just over two months) and am down to a US size 8. I'll be a size 6 one day. Now I'm all about pumping up my muscles and try and do some strength and circuit training 5 days a week. I want to have lots of beefy fast-twitch muscles. I want 25 inch thighs (the size they are now, just less fat and tones more muscle on them), much bigger arms and a more defined back. Oh, i also want some fabulous abs too. I ran around a field today and wasn't even out of breath. I can do 25 push ups in a row, and I've never been able to do a push up before in my life. I drink two protein shakes a day to help muscles recover and to keep my protein content up. Since drinking the protein shakes, no incidents of my blood sugar crashes and I'm on the verge of passing out. There's been no hard feelings on myself, I'm more like, "tomorrow is always a new day", "I can only be stronger and more experienced from what I've learned". No more, "bwaaaa, I suck". Ok, I'm sure it's bound to happen soon. Eating a high fatty diet has also caused some skin wrinkles and embarrassing acne to disappear and I look much younger now. I'm just a happier person really enjoying life right now. I'm not so afraid of getting older. I can always dye the grey hair, the wrinkles are gone so lets see how many years I can keep them off for.
No, I won't delete any of it, I'm going to leave it up as embarrassing as it is because I like looking back on things that make me embarrassed now and reflect and try to grow and mature. I can honestly say that I am a much more introspective emotionally matured individual now than I was 6 months ago, or a year ago. I like to see what I thought then and document myself., as embarrassing as that is.
Less than a year ago, I acquired a house! Success. This process I think make me mature a bunch. Then I radically changed my diet in early May. I'm mostly a carnivore now. I try and get 130-160 grams of protein in a day and I eat a ton of animal based fat (40+ grams a day). Full fat everything (full fat usually means less processed), when I make sweet potato fries, I fry them in lard, frying them in bacon fat is pure decadence. I eat much less carbs and sugars than I once did, I like to keep those under 100 grams a day, preferably under 60 grams. I can't believe I was drinking 8 glasses of grape juice a day, eating 2 scones (400-600 calories a day) in addition to two bowls of pasta for dinner. Carb city and hardly any fat. As a result I had tons of mood-swings, constant glucose crashes, and suffered from actual chemical depression for quite some time. The high amounts of carbs and sugar caused my body to retain weight like a machine. No wonder I couldn't lost anything and was very frustrated. However, now I'm a little older, a little more experienced and have learned a metric ton about the human endocrine system.
Now I feel fantastic. I'm always happy and up-beat. I haven't felt depressed since I started this diet, and I've dropped over 20 pounds (in just over two months) and am down to a US size 8. I'll be a size 6 one day. Now I'm all about pumping up my muscles and try and do some strength and circuit training 5 days a week. I want to have lots of beefy fast-twitch muscles. I want 25 inch thighs (the size they are now, just less fat and tones more muscle on them), much bigger arms and a more defined back. Oh, i also want some fabulous abs too. I ran around a field today and wasn't even out of breath. I can do 25 push ups in a row, and I've never been able to do a push up before in my life. I drink two protein shakes a day to help muscles recover and to keep my protein content up. Since drinking the protein shakes, no incidents of my blood sugar crashes and I'm on the verge of passing out. There's been no hard feelings on myself, I'm more like, "tomorrow is always a new day", "I can only be stronger and more experienced from what I've learned". No more, "bwaaaa, I suck". Ok, I'm sure it's bound to happen soon. Eating a high fatty diet has also caused some skin wrinkles and embarrassing acne to disappear and I look much younger now. I'm just a happier person really enjoying life right now. I'm not so afraid of getting older. I can always dye the grey hair, the wrinkles are gone so lets see how many years I can keep them off for.