Entry - 4 - Up (really) Early So Why Not Post? + Lady of the Ring
Debby slid the gold ring off her finger as she looked into her round vanity mirror.
“That makes 10”
She dropped the gold band into a hollowed out troll doll with the top of its head hanging off by a small slit of flesh. The ring made a shallow clang as it hit the other nine.
“At least he didn’t move like a virgin” she thought as she pulled out the black ties that held back her long dark hair.
Her game started off innocent enough. One day after school, she lingered afterwards to speak to Dylan Troy - a fellow 12th grader she’d had a crush on since he first spilt his apple juice on her in 1st grade. She thought - this is my last year, this is my last chance and put her hand gently on his shoulder as he headed for the door.
“can you stay for a minute?”
“sure, whatsup?”
She made idle small talk - first about Mr. Mulligen’s quiz, then how his bald spot can blind anyone sitting in the third row, and finally about the prom. She wanted to go with him but refused to ask. She had a romantic notion that he’d stare at her with his big blue eyes and say “it’d be my honor to take you to the dance” as he grabbed her hand and spin her around. But instead he talked about the preparations that needed to be done - the decorating, catering etc. She kept a seemingly interested smile painted on her lips as she waited for him to ask her. He prattled on until it hit 5:30 and he made an abrupt goodbye and headed for the door.
“You know its because you’re a whore right?”
“Just because I didn’t pledge my abstinence to my father doesn’t make me a whore”
“To him it does. You said it yourself, he basically ran out to that meeting and away from the whore. Something is wrong with all those gold ring freaks if they are willing to ignore their hard-ons and wet panties to go pray. Pssh, the only time you’ll hear me praying to God is when Rube has me on all four”
“eww”
“say eww all you want, at least I’m getting some. I’d say try it but I know how much of a prude you are.”
“I’m not a prude, I just…I don’t know…want it to be special. I mean, it doesn’t have to be after marriage, it just has to be…right.”
“I think it’s better when its curved left”
“eww”
“but seriously, you cannot keep waiting for that special moment to happen. You have to make it happen”
The next day after class she stopped Dylan once more - this time in the senior locker-room underneath the school gymnasium. She knew she’d have extra face time with him since his abstinence group did not meet that night. Again the small talk went from school business to prom.
“Has any guy asked you to the prom yet?”
“Nope, not yet.”
“oh”
They both fell silent. She bit her lip and lowered her gaze to the floor.
“well, I am waiting for a certain someone to ask….”
“oh… “
Debby slowly started to make her way to the door.
“I’m sorry”, he said, stopping her from exiting. “I know you want me to ask you and I’d really like to…but I can’t. I pledged myself and I take this really seriously. I cannot risk going with someone who hasn’t made the same pledge - it is too much of a temptation. You understand right?” He reached to hug her. She pulled back.
“Too much of a temptation” - she snarled as she made her way to the door.
“he said that?”
“Yup”
“Asshole. What does he think you are going to do, sit on his cock as soon as you get a chance? That stupid ring is not a magic cock-blocker.”
“I was only hoping to dance, maybe a kiss”
“oooh but a kiss leads to eternal damnation. Don’t you know?”
“stupid me”
“stupid them. The only hole they should be slipping their finger in should be…”
“don’t even finish that.”
“What? Trust me, If I didn’t graduate last year I would so give that Dylan what he deserves for saying that to you.”
“you probably would just give it up”
“Maybe. Maybe that is what he deserves. See what he’s missing out on. I’d fuck him and all those ring freak losers.”
“how does putting out to the abstinence club revenge?”
“what do those God freaks fear the most?”
“oh”
Debby came in the following day with a purpose. As soon as her lunch period started, she headed straight toward Dan Ro Kim, the youngest member of the Hope Missionary abstinence group. He was a junior, but since he skipped 2 grades, was significantly younger than everyone else. Debby thought he’d be an easy mark. She started by asking him for help getting a project from her locker. Knowing most seniors are out for lunch, she’d have the locker room alone for at least 20 minutes. They both walked under the gymnasium, Debby gently touching his arm and shoulder slightly, feeling Dan tense up in excitement. When they finally arrived, she turned and faced him, staring deeply into his two small dark eyes. She could feel both their hearts pounding, and before she could rethink it, she grabbed the back of his head, scooping his hair between her hands and gripping tight, pulling him into a wet kiss. She had only kissed two boys prior - both older - and the kissing ended promptly when they attempted to dive their hands into her jeans. Now she was the one holding this younger guy against her body, as he nervously whipped his tongue up and down her face.
She took off her shirt, which prompted him to take off his. Guess that strength in faith is bullshit - she thought as he hurriedly rubbed his hands along her torso, landing on her bra and attempting to pull it off. She continued to hold his hair and tug and pull his face closer to appear as filled with lust as he was - she was just waiting to get it over with. She kept her eyes closed, mouth open to receive his tongue, and mind wandering to any place that was not there. Why was she doing this? Was this because Dylan denied her? because of what Dina said on the phone? Because she wanted revenge?
Before she could answer, she found herself pulling down her panties, as Dan’s barely visible erect cock appeared between the zipper flaps. He grabbed his dick and awkwardly fuddled to find her hole until she grew annoyed and slapped his hand away and put it in for him. Though he wasn’t big - she didn’t expect him to be hence why she chose him first - it still felt like a sharp short pain. She winced, but made the sting into a pant to continue the charade of enjoyment. With one hand holding his cock in and the other uncomfortably pinching her breast, he slammed into her 4 times against the metal lockers until he spilled his seed on her leg.
Before it could drip down to her socks, a look of shock swept his face. What have I done - he muttered, as his mouth stayed agape and his hand nervously reached for his zipper. That’s why she did it - she thought, witnessing the fright in his face. I want them to feel the fire and brimstone of their own making. She tried to hide a sharp grin as she pulled up her panties and rearranged her skirt. She used a towel in her locker to clean her leg and casually tossed it into the trash. Dan, shaking, looked at her with puppy eyes and begged her not to say anything. He has to pray to save his soul and she should do the same. She grabbed his hand swiftly and wiggled the gold ring off his finger and placed it on hers. She looked at her hand, almost as if appraising a newfound treasure, and walked out the locker room without saying a word.
“You really did it? I mean good for you for popping your cherry, but I was honestly joking about fucking the whole abstinence group.”
“I don’t know what came over me. I felt this rush to do it, partly out of anger, and partly out of….I don’t know. You’ve seen Dan, I don’t think any girl gets wet thinking of Dan. So it obviously wasn’t out of lust. I mean, this may make me seem like a bitch, but I probably got the biggest thrill at the end.”
“You mean when he came?”
“no, after”
“what happened after?”
“well, I took his ring”
“You took his ring?! Like a trophy?”
“Yeah. I can’t tell you why, but seeing him panic afterward, and seeing how much that ring meant, I just took it. And he couldn’t do anything about it, because he betrayed its own value. Not me. Looking at it now, it almost makes me laugh”
“wow”
“wow what?”
“Wow, I didn’t think you had that in you”
“Me either”
“are you going to keep doing it? You know, sleeping with the abstinence group?”
“Probably. Does that make me a slut?”
“No, it just makes them hypocrites”
Her eyes stayed locked on her reflection as she continued to undress. Down to her white bra and panties, she reached over for her navy blue dress. It was prom night.
She collected the next nine rings in a fairly similar manner. Being an averagely attractive girl in her school made approaching the guys the easy part. Isolating them from their group of friends and finding an empty space for at least 10-15 minutes was the trick. She found the locker room was too risky, and was lucky noone found her and Dan the first time. She tried beneath the stands in the football field but didn’t like the cold metal beams pressed between her ass cheeks. She eventually settled on fourth floor broom closet used only when janitor supplies ran short. It smelled like Clorox and molding mop heads but it was the closest to a safe fuck spot as she could find. After Dan, she got her routine down. Ask for help getting some random object. When at the destination, pursue with aggression till they drop their inhibition and start to become aggressive themselves. That’s when she could stop trying, go with the motion, pant and moan, shuffle her panties to the floor, hike up her leg, and let the 2-3 minutes pass like a long television commercial before she cleaned her leg, grabbed his hand, ripped off the ring, and walked silently away, leaving them shocked, confused, and scared of what just happened.
She didn’t worry about the news getting around about her conquests. The guys were too ashamed to have let the news slip amongst the students. The day or so after she took their rings, they managed to secure new ones - telling their pastors they lost it in the sink or when they went fishing - though neglecting to mention that this time they bit. She wasn’t sure whether they said anything amongst themselves- or more importantly whether it got back to Dylan. They both have been avoiding each other since they last spoke in the locker room. She was deliberately stepping out as he stepped in, hoping to avoid his look - be it of shame or longing. He no longer hung out after school before his meetings nor took his lunch to the school atrium at 6th period. Avoiding him for a few weeks was worth waiting for her date with him on prom.
After she finished pulling back her hair into a tight bun, Debby ran downstairs to meet Denise and Rube in his used black Chevy. Denise missed her prom last year - her and Rube never made it past his parking garage - so she figured she’d give it a second chance. Debby was slightly regretful that she couldn’t attend with Dylan - have him slip a matching corsage on her hand, walk her to the dance floor, spin her in circle until she was dizzy, then take her home…and maybe…maybe…
They arrived at the auditorium around 9:30, walking in arm and arm. People who remembered Denise gave her sharp catty looks as they turned to their dates and whispered deeply; those who didn’t remember still stared but mostly at her gross amount of visible cleavage. Debby didn’t mind having Denise’s breasts as a center focus tonight - usually she’d insist on a shawl or to pull her dress up. Tonight, though, she was on a mission. Find Dylan.
It wasn’t hard to find him -she didn’t expect it to be. He was always laughing or telling a joke that would at least make him laugh, so she’d follow his voice across the dance floor and through the punch table to a bench behind the basketball hoop.
“Hey”
“Hey...you look nice.”
“you too”
“thanks….I see you brough Denise. She’s…interesting”
“Yeah, she is. But that’s what I love about her. So…what about you…who did you come with?”
“Noone - I just wanted to come by myself. I don’t plan on being out too late so I didn’t want to make someone else leave early too.”
“That’s generous but why are you leaving early?”
He sat there silent and she took that as her queue to sit aside from him.
“Look at us wallflowers” Debby sighs as she gazes up at the flurry of balloons covering the dance floor.
“Well at least you’re a beautiful rose” he whispers.
His hand slowly reaches over towards hers and rests atop her fingers. They look over at each other and slowly lean in till their lips press. In her head she was thinking about a few weeks ago, before her vendetta started, when she was at the Fairview Mall looking at the dress she’s wearing now, picturing this moment in time. She can faintly recollect the joy it brought her at the mere thought, and for a moment, she let herself forget what she was about to do.
She took his limp hand and led him out the auditorium.
“So you went through with it?”
“yeah”
“Are you ok? I honestly didn’t think you were going to take it this far.”
“I’m fine, as fine as I can be right now. I don’t regret anything Denise. When I collected those rings, I felt a power. A conviction. I was in control of my actions and control over theirs. The scary thing is, I’ve also found my darkness. And it’s deep.”
“Aren’t you scared of that darkness?”
“ Yes, but it helped me see that there’s something worse than making one feel like a hypocrite…”
It was nearing the end of August, and Debby was loading the last of her luggage into her mom’s SUV. She organized it like a well-played game of tetris, she thought, as she closed the trunk door. All that sat on her front porch now was a long vanilla envelope.
“I’ll be back in half an hour mom, then we can go!” - She grabbed the envelope and began to walk down the street.
She saw Dylan sitting on his stoop, tapping his foot with no discernable rhythm. She walked up to him and raised her hand to place it on his shoulder, but he pulled away.
“Hey…”
“Hey.”
“I know we haven’t spoken since…well…and I thought before I leave to college today that I should tell you something.”
“What?”
“Some time after the prom I started feeling really sick. I was getting very nauseous, and dizzy for no reason. At first I thought I had the flu, but my mom said she knew the signs. I tested myself 2 months after what we did and it turned out I was pregnant.”
WHAT THE FUCK?, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER!
“You told me you never wanted to speak to me. You said it’d hurt too much. And I wasn’t sure how to tell you, or what you’d say, or whether you’d hate me even more.”
“I don’t know what to feel right now. I’m in shock. I just…can’t believe what you just said to me.”
“I know what you mean. Being told something that hard…it changes you.”
“Regardless, I need to be this child’s father - I don’t know where to begin though - have you been going to the hospital, is everything okay?”
“Calm down, take a breathe. I have been to the hospital. Here take this. I have to leave now, but I hope we both learn something from this.”
Dylan sits back down on the stoop as Debby turns the corner and vanishes from sight. He peels open the envelope slowly. After a deep exhale, he pulls out the forms inside.
“I hope everything is alright. Please God may everything be alright. Please God…”
His eyes sift through the form and immediately stop at the word Abortion.