Bad, bad news

[oakparkgirl]

Just got the call I was fearing for a long, long time. We are apparently at the "cherish every day" phase because his chances are so bad for the chemo working.  I'm kinda stunned.

Keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers please. I may not be a praying person but I'll take all the help he can get right now :(  I'll post more details later when I'm

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[oakparkgirl]

Yeah, up to now everything seemed to be going pretty well, at Christmas my dad looked great and seemed to genuinely feel better. Apparently things were not going too well with his treatment but my parents decided to shield me from that. I appreciate that they wanted to protect me, I guess it wouldn't have made a difference. The worst part is that his current chemo destroys his immune system so he needs to be unexposed to people as much as possible, heck my mom could be dangerous. They essentially said if he were to catch pneumonia it would be the end.

So packing up and heading down there seems a bit selfish right now. That's what I wanted to do when I found out he had cancer last year and my dad talked me out of it. And as always he was right :) I'm going to call him tomorrow. I know I'll just sob like an idiot when I should be strong, and then he'll tell me he's so worried about me and cvhange the subject and make me laugh, like he always does.

BAH, does it get worse? No, I don't want to know because I am sure it does. I can't imagine there are any more tears left in me right now, but I know there are :( My mom wants me and my brother to sit down and start talking about what to do when the inevitable happens. What happens to my mom (she's perfectly healthy but most of their family is NOT where they retired to and she hates driving), what about all their debt, etc. The thought of all that makes my stomach turn. I keep thinking, I should be 50 or 60 before this becomes an issue. It's just not fair. But right now she is in no shape to think about it either, so right now we have to buck up and let her support my dad as best as she can and we'll handle the ugly stuff.

Gah, I really need to get some rest. I'm going to look like I was in aboxing ring tonight. Thankfully I don't need to be at work tomorrow.