Jun 21, 2006 13:51
I know I don't really ever write anything for my lj, but I figured every once and a while I would.
And every once and a while has decided to make an appearance today.
I have realized through the end of the school year process, that I have so many friends that I under appreciate. I have barely spent anytime getting to know them, or tried to spend even a small amount of time with them. I've been introduced to so many great individuals this year and I don't know why I haven't gotten past the brief "Hi...I'm Danielle...You're fun...Wow that class was boring today...yeah.." I think I'm discovering more and more that I really don't like opening up myself to new people. Or I guess opening up to people in general, even ones I have known for quite some time. I don't like that feeling of awkward uncomfortableness. At all.
On another note, you know when you tried really hard in the past to do something and you achieved it in a big way? And then you try to go another round and go for it again but it just doesn't work? Well, if you could see me right now there would be big neon signs with arrows pointing at me for that specific reason. I tried something years ago and it was great, worked and I was so happy. But, then it wasn't enough and wanted to do the same thing again. It seems like it just doesn't want to work this time. It's frustrating. And when there's people around you who don't understand and keep saying how dumb it is that you can't do it, that it's easy and all you have to do is this and it'll work, it just rips into you. Especially when everything else comes fairly easy ( comes fairly easy meaning I know how to do it and it works ).
I know what I have to do, but it's not one of those things I can do in one simple step. It's like a bagillion steps that and seven feet high each and I have to figure out how to get up.
And then my last thing. Jealousy is a terrible thing. Absolutly terrible. I wish there was no such thing.
Well anyhow, that's my once and a while.