its those...
Moments in life, according to decisions you make when loved ones make you feel so damn worthless. Then you realize you are being overly dramatic and i HATE sympathy gainers. I find myself one of them from time to time though...Sitting here in this dark, dark room, getting drunk off cheap ass beer and wishing the power of nicotine would leave me alone. So scary something so mind controlling.
I love my dog. So lazy. So utterly in love with me that he sits around and watches me do nothing. Oh wouldnt that be nice to find a human who could find the joy in doing NOTHING at all sometimes?
Its mad windy and stormy outside. I walked out of the movie (starsky and hutch, quite entertaining) to a blast of rain perfume in my face. It was awesomely superb. Not even the eleven year old sluts and their thick clowny makeup could distract me. In the back part of my mind yes i wanted them to stand under the water, having the makeup run free and see what they really look like. Do THEY even remember? How sad that once that fall from innocence occurs they feel the need to create their own beauty through ugly actions. Whatever.
B.T.F. (P.W.) --- you will be in my thoughts until the day my mind stops working. :-)
God, what to do tonight?
Peace, M