i just want to hold you in my arms
this is gonna sound wierd but i'm only writing to get some stuff off my chest, so no sympathy please, thats like the last thing i want.
so on monday i crashed stacys mom into the back of a brandnew honda accord 2006 going about 80 MPH on 495. the only reason i hit him is cuz traffic stoped because of an other accedent ahead of us. so my car is no more. the front end is smashed in and will not see the light of day ever again. we may not be able to afford me to stay on the road if the insurance spikes WAY up. so that kinda sux a lot. my moms looking for a new car, shes chooseing between a honda civic and a saab, nither appeal to me, but then again as long as it runs and takes me to school i dont really care. i'm thinking that i should get a real job (not the one at admissions that i have now that pays shit for begginers) so that i can by my own car, something i want, like a VW Cario, i really want one of those, it doesnt need to be new, it just has to run....
so i guess thats the worst of it
i started dating this girl again, we've been on two dates cuz her boyfriend and her are in an open relationship now, and i've always felt for her. i dont think it ever stoped. well today it hit me how much i still feel for her. and my emotions are on a wild hay ride that i'm not to happy about. i mean i feel like i did when she broke up with me. which is illogical. i mean i have some really havy feelings for her. i went on this other date after seeing her and all i could think about was her, i felt really bad for the person i was entertaining. but still all the same. all i wanted was to be with her excusively, and i wish she felt the same way about me, but i'm not sure/pretty sure she doesnt feel that way. and i guess thats whats killing me. knowing i cant have something that i want. and even more so, if it ever did happen, my mom wouldnt be thrilled about it. she wouldnt be angry by any means but she would rather i go back out with andrea, hell every time i bring up girls she brings up andrea and it drives me fucking insane.... and im not gonna go there cuz thats a different topic.
so i guess thats it, even thou i feel like i could have spilt more of my sole onto this websight, i think i would be become really repetitive, and i think i already started repeating my self in there.
if you read this i'm impressed that you had the pacinces to read all that... and thank you
so on monday i crashed stacys mom into the back of a brandnew honda accord 2006 going about 80 MPH on 495. the only reason i hit him is cuz traffic stoped because of an other accedent ahead of us. so my car is no more. the front end is smashed in and will not see the light of day ever again. we may not be able to afford me to stay on the road if the insurance spikes WAY up. so that kinda sux a lot. my moms looking for a new car, shes chooseing between a honda civic and a saab, nither appeal to me, but then again as long as it runs and takes me to school i dont really care. i'm thinking that i should get a real job (not the one at admissions that i have now that pays shit for begginers) so that i can by my own car, something i want, like a VW Cario, i really want one of those, it doesnt need to be new, it just has to run....
so i guess thats the worst of it
i started dating this girl again, we've been on two dates cuz her boyfriend and her are in an open relationship now, and i've always felt for her. i dont think it ever stoped. well today it hit me how much i still feel for her. and my emotions are on a wild hay ride that i'm not to happy about. i mean i feel like i did when she broke up with me. which is illogical. i mean i have some really havy feelings for her. i went on this other date after seeing her and all i could think about was her, i felt really bad for the person i was entertaining. but still all the same. all i wanted was to be with her excusively, and i wish she felt the same way about me, but i'm not sure/pretty sure she doesnt feel that way. and i guess thats whats killing me. knowing i cant have something that i want. and even more so, if it ever did happen, my mom wouldnt be thrilled about it. she wouldnt be angry by any means but she would rather i go back out with andrea, hell every time i bring up girls she brings up andrea and it drives me fucking insane.... and im not gonna go there cuz thats a different topic.
so i guess thats it, even thou i feel like i could have spilt more of my sole onto this websight, i think i would be become really repetitive, and i think i already started repeating my self in there.
if you read this i'm impressed that you had the pacinces to read all that... and thank you