Performance Compost
Second semester, I haven't journaled in forever. I'm currently taking a course called Performance Composition in which I compose and perform my own solo performance pieces on a weekly to biweekly basis. I thought I'd reproduce the text of last week's performance here for posterity's sake. So without further ado, "Who's the Man".
Who's the man in your relationship?
I've been getting that question since I first started dating a woman when I was 18.
Who's the man?
Who wears the pants, as they say in the States?
Who's in charge?
Who's on top?
It seems like a rather bizarre question to be asking a--well, I hesitate to use the word lesbian, because if I'm a biological and self-identified woman who's having fabulous sex with two primarily male-presenting chromosomally female people, am I a lesbian?--but nonetheless "Who's the man?" seems to be missing the point. If I wanted a man in my relationships I'd be dating one.
But people seem so fixated on it. A friend of mine from high school had an argument with her mother over whether I was the man or the woman in my relationship with my wife, and some guy at a pub told us that my wife was clearly the man in her relationships with both me and our girlfriend. (He also said a lot of other things that night. But I won't talk about those now). I've always said you can say what you like, but I'm in charge of saving damsels in distress from spiders.
I've also heard the question phrased as "Who wears the strap-on?", which I've always thought was funny, becasuse this is not a penis. YOu can call it a penis if you want. That can be a lot of fun, actually. But it's not a penis. For starters, it's purple. For another thing, it doesn't ejaculate, and it doesn't go flaccid. And if I do this to it, no one gets hurt. At least, I think so. (Are you okay?)
Furthermore, putting this on to have sex doesn't mean anything other than you're putting on a dildo to have sex. Which you don't actually have to do, and which more often than not I don't. I mean, it can be a bit of a mood-killer, having to stop midway through and say, hold on, baby, gotta strap it on. But sometimes there's no substitute.
Which seems to be the general public opinion on dildos--that they're substitutes for the real thing. DILDOS ARE THE REAL THING, they're just a different real thing, one that's not always attached to a person. So if you ask me who wears the strap-on, the answer is, I do. But so does my wife. And so does my girlfriend. And if that's not confusing enough, sometimes we wear more than one at the same time. It doesn't mean anything! I mean, look at me! Am I a man? Am I the man?
No. I'm a girl with a seven inch plastic erection
and I'm just as physically and emotionally capable without it.
And now I'm curious...
who's the man in your relationships?
Photo taken by Becca.
Who's the man in your relationship?
I've been getting that question since I first started dating a woman when I was 18.
Who's the man?
Who wears the pants, as they say in the States?
Who's in charge?
Who's on top?
It seems like a rather bizarre question to be asking a--well, I hesitate to use the word lesbian, because if I'm a biological and self-identified woman who's having fabulous sex with two primarily male-presenting chromosomally female people, am I a lesbian?--but nonetheless "Who's the man?" seems to be missing the point. If I wanted a man in my relationships I'd be dating one.
But people seem so fixated on it. A friend of mine from high school had an argument with her mother over whether I was the man or the woman in my relationship with my wife, and some guy at a pub told us that my wife was clearly the man in her relationships with both me and our girlfriend. (He also said a lot of other things that night. But I won't talk about those now). I've always said you can say what you like, but I'm in charge of saving damsels in distress from spiders.
I've also heard the question phrased as "Who wears the strap-on?", which I've always thought was funny, becasuse this is not a penis. YOu can call it a penis if you want. That can be a lot of fun, actually. But it's not a penis. For starters, it's purple. For another thing, it doesn't ejaculate, and it doesn't go flaccid. And if I do this to it, no one gets hurt. At least, I think so. (Are you okay?)
Furthermore, putting this on to have sex doesn't mean anything other than you're putting on a dildo to have sex. Which you don't actually have to do, and which more often than not I don't. I mean, it can be a bit of a mood-killer, having to stop midway through and say, hold on, baby, gotta strap it on. But sometimes there's no substitute.
Which seems to be the general public opinion on dildos--that they're substitutes for the real thing. DILDOS ARE THE REAL THING, they're just a different real thing, one that's not always attached to a person. So if you ask me who wears the strap-on, the answer is, I do. But so does my wife. And so does my girlfriend. And if that's not confusing enough, sometimes we wear more than one at the same time. It doesn't mean anything! I mean, look at me! Am I a man? Am I the man?
No. I'm a girl with a seven inch plastic erection
and I'm just as physically and emotionally capable without it.
And now I'm curious...
who's the man in your relationships?
Photo taken by Becca.