alone?
It's funny how people have grown to judge you so much on first impression; the way you dress, the things you've done. Are there still people who see your emotions, see your feelings, see you personality?
Of course someone can easily give you words of comfort, tell you that they hope you feel better, tell you that they love you, tell you that they ( Read more... )
people give comforting words because they dont' know what else to do/say. Your problems are different from theirs. people deal with different problems differently. But when you come down to it, nobody really knows what to do in time of crises. comforting words are like a standard. People give advice sometiems when they've been through it, but even then they're pretty clueless ... nobody really knows how to deal. We expect different people to react differently...if you were upset..you would expect your boyfriend to hold you and comfort you and give you flowers or something...to your friends..you expect them to give you comforting words and watch you cry? i don't know..expectations vary with different people. But know that even if people do want to help you they don't know how. People are there to listen..but don't expect them to solve your problems. If you have problems you solve it with the people involved.
Comfort from others is a temporary fix...but it's not a fix that's why it's not satisfying..if you want to be happy, truly, you gotta fix the problem with the people involved. People on the sidelines are ... cheerleaders that's all they can do. There are people there to guide you or to talk to you..but they won't do it for you. Just like coaches guide and train and yell...but the players win the game not the coaches.
bottomline, don't feel lonely, we're all we can be. Independance won't help, we all need to release our anger somewhere. Ultimately the choice is yours and no one else's so don't put so much pressure on others to be there..cuz they are trying..well..some who knows meh. don't listen to me i ramble =P
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When you have nothing to say, is it not easily understood that you may just sya nothing? Does it mean anything if it just floats to the back of my head. Despite that, it's just the way I am. Maybe those words of comfort is worth everything to someone else. Because there are different stlyes of loving, and people like to be loved in different ways.
Broadly, you are always expecting help or advice from everyone. I would want my boyfriend to be there when I cry.. It's all the same. From family, to friends... you still want that same connection. If you aren't expecting anything from people and all you want is for them to listen, is that not being independant. Them simply hearing what has happened doesn't do anything, you will still be on your own.
People don't have to be waiting on the sidelines if they don't wish. Because no matter what, they WILL have something to say. Just because they haven't gone through the same things you have, doesn't mean they can't give you advice, you make connections.
Not to say this is what I expect from the people I am around, I guess it's just a thought? I mean, a lot of people probably think this is too much to expect from JUST a friend? most of which you probably won't see the rest of your life. *sigh*
It's okay Sophie, I ramble on a lot too =D
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We expect a lot from friends. Maybe it's because most of us realize that if we can provide the comfort that we wish to gain for ourselves when we need it, then we'll eventually get it in return.
Friends, most of them being our own age, can't be expected to give you advice that contains the wisdom of the ages. You can't expect to find all the answers from your friends the moment a crisis is knocking on your door. I have to agree with Sophie - the only way for problems to be solves is if they are faced by the individual. You can have your 'cheerleaders' on the sidelines...but it's you, and you alone, who are fighting to win the battle.
True friends will always be waiting on the sidelines no matter what. Through thick or thin they'll be there. Sometimes they have their own issues to deal with, and they can't help it if they're out of it and in their own world. I mean, we can't be expected to be on the ball and in our best form at all hours of the day. Sometimes, we're going to have to take time away from our friends to heal our own wounds and figure things out.
Sometimes the best healer is alone time.
Descartes said that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And from this, everyone must realize that people take in other people differently. One may look at the way they dress, but others may delve deeper, and search passed first impressions. It's good to be yourself when you first meet someone. You shouldn't try to change who you are just because they're someone new. If a person judges you from a single impression, then they're not someone who's worth 'pleasing'.
Your clothes...your favourites...that doesn't shape who you are. Your choices, your morals, the way you deal with problems...those things *reveal* who you are. Many people go through life searching for that one person to understand you inside out, to make everything so much easier. Whether or not you find that person, you still learn how to be independent and how to keep going when times get rough. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on....humans aren't 'emotionless brick walls' as some may think...
I think that many people feel lonely in their lives, even though they're surrounded by people. But the only thing you can do is get yourself out there, find more things you love...find more ways to connet with the world. You can't just stop being lonely. No one can tell you to do that. But you need to learn how to discover new things that bring joy to your life, and you can't just give up and say that nothing does. If you were 85, that'd be different. But even then, I'd think they just hadn't really exerted the effort to discover something that gave them true passion.
Find your calling. The search is half the fun. You can't just let loneliness and bad times drain the life from you. You spend most of your time crying out for attention...when you could easily just ask for it. Sometimes you need to be the one to take the effort to ask for advice, or to go out and have a good talk. Sometimes, people don't realize when their friends are hurt.
Believe me, I know. I've been there. Show your true colours. Put yourself out there. Don't be afraid to take risks (not life threatening ones though, and you KNOW what I'm talking about) and just learn to pick yourself up when things get rough and find the greater things in life.
I think, if you look hard enough, you'll find more reasons for living then dying.
There's so much to do on this earth...
I'm sure there's something out there that will breathe life back into your soul again.
Life may be a bitch...but we learn to love it ^_-
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you say comforting words mean nothing. but How would you feel if you spilled your guts out and the other person says nothing? sorta like ignorance you can say. Personally i would take it that the person has no interest in what i'm saying and that i'm wasting their time...basiclaly it'd make me feel like shit. Obviously friends wouldn't want to do that...so they'd have to say something or another to say that they sympathize..they just have no friggen idea what to do....i mean i don't take comforting words seriously either..but it's better to know that they heard you..and that you can spill out instead of bottling up inside. I'd like to think that because you're letting yourself out..and trusting another person enough to spill out your emotions that you're...NOT being independant...because indepedant people depend on nobody and hence tend to keep things bottled up.
People don't always have something to say. You can't expect someone else to solve your problems for you, but it's fair to expect them to be your cheerleader. Not everbody have advice to give...and not all advice is worthy. And even when people do give you advice..the chances that u'll take the advice is..pretty slim..
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