And all the roads that lead you there were winding
Wow I have been bad at updating *slaps self* I hate when people have live journals and then never update-it makes me annoyed. This week I have done ALOT of work for my FIT portfolio...ALOT. I'm suddenly realizing that school is about to start and I better get my shit together or I'm fucked. I currently have 5 designs that I consider acceptable-and I'm supposed to have 8. So basically I have to do another 10 or so. I need to have alot to choose from. I've done alot of vintage inspired fifties/sixties pieces. I hate the word whimsical.
I also need to write my essay for FIT before school starts. It's biographical-what I like what I don't like, why FIT, why this career. Ok I hate writing about myself. What do I say? "Um when I was little I liked Barbies...and they wore clothes...and I like clothes...so I want to make clothes. Also my likes include cheese, movies, and office supplies, while my dislikes encompass stupid people, polyester,and work of any kind."...I'm fucked. How do I explain why I want this? I mean I don't know what to say about it. It's the only application of the arts that I saw panning out for me. It's something I love, it's like a hobby that I can make a career out of. Jesus the more I think about it the more superficial and meaningless it seems. I still haven't gotten over my phobia of telling people what I want to do. Everytime the words "fashion design" come out of my mouth I cringe. I just feel like people judge me unfairly for that choice-like I'm too stupid to do anything else. I think I'm just having pre-senior year jitters. I'm scared-really scared. Everything is just going to change so drastically this year-and it's just sudden and new and startling and I keep having stupid panic attacks over it-and no one cares. This is a long rambling entry about my insecurities...YAY-GO ME!