o happy days....
well i have officially taken up a new hobby, sleeping, i seem to be doing alot of that lately (hehe) well everything is basically spinning right out of control right now, prom, boys, friends, etc. I guess im just scared and nervous but excited. Im leaving and my time is growing nearer and nearer. I have taken up argument with my thoughts as i decide whether i really want to go or not but i keep realizing that the things that could have kept me here are now dwindling and spiraling into a sense of nothingness. Sammie is leaving, Jessica is moving and its just that things are finally taking their place. Its pretty cool actually. I dont know alot but i do k now that i want to make something of myself. I dont want to be 35, coming home from my minimum wage job to a nice handsome, 40 year old tv set and watching lifetime movies about heroic women who have made heros of themselves and wishing i was just that. Well, its not happening. And im going to paris. My mom said that in 2 years if i set a goal for myself and do really good in school that i can take 10,000 dollars from the money i am recieving and spend a month in france over the summer. I guess that things are finally working out in my lfie its just that now i have no where left to go. Everyone and everything is gone but its okay. I am not going to let other peoples ignorance and deciet corrupt who i am, i am me and no matter how much tragedy, happinessor pain i endure throughout my life, i will always be me =)
~nicki~
~nicki~