hump day
today is wednesday and it kinda sucked kinda didnt. Well, Sam is not talkin to me but whatever, i dont care but im makin an effort cause im not giving up yet. I can get us a limo for probably like dirt cheap and it'll be cool, we can all still go to prom. And i have another suprise but no one can only, only joe demelfi knows cause he is the one that talked me into it. So thank you joe =). anyways, Sheri talekd to me today, she gave me my calculator and made me cry, no, not over the calculator, only causeshe was crying and my week has progressed from bad to worse. I started taking medication to make myself feel beter and fopr some reason it is just gettin worse, like now i have thought about suicide and have talked myself out of it in the last 2 days at least a dozen times. No matter what i do it doesnt go away, it feels like something is eating away at my insides and soon there is going to be nothing left but skin and bones. Gruesome. Anyways, i went to work and it was okay then i came home and talked to Jessica. I was fine until i was talkin to james about what happened with me and sam and all of a sudden it was like a 10 pound weight was dropped on me. Jess was all like "whats wrong?" and she was like "stop being depressed!" Its just that so much shit is going on and i cant deal with it right now. Its kind weird. I went to Jessicas last night when i had a really bad day before and she makes me feel alot better. She just sits there and talks to me and listens when i talk and shares her experiances withme and its just nice to know that you arent always alone. Im going to her house tomorrow, im leaving work early cause i dont wanna be there anyways. Then friday im leavin! i get to go on a mini vacation, i need that. No cell phone or nothing this time. Ah, awesome, away from everyone, totally secluded. Nice. Anyways, im out for now
~nicki~
quote: IN THE COOKIES OF LIFE, YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS
convo: (from yesterday)
Jess: you ever shit your pants?
nicki: no, why?
jess: i shit my pants in front of adam one time, i was tryin to fart and it just came out i was like "ooh! hold on"
nicki: you ever pee your pants in front of adam?
jess: whats worse than shittin your pants in front of adam?!?!?!
~nicki~
quote: IN THE COOKIES OF LIFE, YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS
convo: (from yesterday)
Jess: you ever shit your pants?
nicki: no, why?
jess: i shit my pants in front of adam one time, i was tryin to fart and it just came out i was like "ooh! hold on"
nicki: you ever pee your pants in front of adam?
jess: whats worse than shittin your pants in front of adam?!?!?!