maybe i'll do laundry, now.
I'm home now. I'm in my pajamas that I've had since the fifth grade, and my mom's big gray sweater, and I've just woken up and prepared myself a hearty breakfast of Shreddies.
I wish I could just write it all out right now and explain to every one of you what I have been through these past couple weeks. But I know in my heart that it would take a lot more then that. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain just how it felt to pull up the school in Pancevo the first time, and see hundreds of kids yelling and smiling and crying just because we had come to see them. Each one waving a banner with a message in English, just for us. And the feeling that welled up in my heart when we walked up the path some of the kids handed me their hand-made paper banners, and how those were the best presents I have ever received. I wanted to take each child in my arms and love them and tell them that they were special beacuse they were, they were so incredible.
I wish I could take you by the hand, and tell you my story so it was like you were right there by my side and you felt everything that I had felt and am feeling now. I wish that I could summarize each moment into one sentence, so when everyone who inevitably asks "how was your trip" I won't be forced to say "good" because there will magically be a way to describe it all in an appropriately condensed form.
Could I explain how although most of my experiences in Serbia were wonderful, some things were bone-chilling and terrible. Can I tell you what it feels like to want to help people more than you've ever wanted to anything in your entire life, more than you want to breathe even, but you can't do anything at all? Can I tell you what it is like to hold a bleeding puppy in your arms and know that when you leave that puppy will be more alone than it has ever been and the next time he gets hurt you won't be there to wash his cuts and hold him? Maybe I could tell you, but why would you want to know?
I'm sorry, I'm bad at explaining things especially when they've barely sunk in for me just yet. There's so much crammed in my mind and in my heart right now, for better or for worse. But the skies are blue here too, and I'm ready to make a difference. I want to help who I can, when I can, more now than ever because there are people I will never be able to help and I know that truth now. I can't wait to get up tomorrow morning and go to school and hug the people I wasn't sure I'd miss, but then I did, a lot.
And in the words of Minnesota Greg, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
I don't need anyone to take me home because I'm already there, but it's Closing Time nonetheless.
I wish I could just write it all out right now and explain to every one of you what I have been through these past couple weeks. But I know in my heart that it would take a lot more then that. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain just how it felt to pull up the school in Pancevo the first time, and see hundreds of kids yelling and smiling and crying just because we had come to see them. Each one waving a banner with a message in English, just for us. And the feeling that welled up in my heart when we walked up the path some of the kids handed me their hand-made paper banners, and how those were the best presents I have ever received. I wanted to take each child in my arms and love them and tell them that they were special beacuse they were, they were so incredible.
I wish I could take you by the hand, and tell you my story so it was like you were right there by my side and you felt everything that I had felt and am feeling now. I wish that I could summarize each moment into one sentence, so when everyone who inevitably asks "how was your trip" I won't be forced to say "good" because there will magically be a way to describe it all in an appropriately condensed form.
Could I explain how although most of my experiences in Serbia were wonderful, some things were bone-chilling and terrible. Can I tell you what it feels like to want to help people more than you've ever wanted to anything in your entire life, more than you want to breathe even, but you can't do anything at all? Can I tell you what it is like to hold a bleeding puppy in your arms and know that when you leave that puppy will be more alone than it has ever been and the next time he gets hurt you won't be there to wash his cuts and hold him? Maybe I could tell you, but why would you want to know?
I'm sorry, I'm bad at explaining things especially when they've barely sunk in for me just yet. There's so much crammed in my mind and in my heart right now, for better or for worse. But the skies are blue here too, and I'm ready to make a difference. I want to help who I can, when I can, more now than ever because there are people I will never be able to help and I know that truth now. I can't wait to get up tomorrow morning and go to school and hug the people I wasn't sure I'd miss, but then I did, a lot.
And in the words of Minnesota Greg, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
I don't need anyone to take me home because I'm already there, but it's Closing Time nonetheless.