im a loser...no really
ok, here's how cool I am...in the last two days I have watched pride and prejudice twice and on top of that, since I have owned it I have seen it approximately 12 times. haha. love it. but I have been reading again as well. I am currently reading Ishmael. and before that I read "how I Became Stupid" oh so good. Thank you Katie for giving me that to read.
I am loving books and obviously certain movies made after books...
But I have just been so isolated from life...at least I feel this way. I feel that I am losing grip and even though I have connections I feel like I am losing them or at least fading away.
I need to choose a path and stick to it. Find a single passion, one that will get me through, that I will be passionate about long term.
I have been getting quite restless and angry at work. It's too easy, but I need money to pay bills hah fun.
I have no respect for my boss...he's a tool and besides that he has severe little man disease.
Oh well. obviously I would be angry at having such a ridiculous job. Although I get free movies. But that isn't enough for me. I need more. more challenge.
though I will say that I work with some people who make me think and i thoroughly enjoy. Levi has been supplying me with reading materials and is always good for a chat. and dianne is good to chill with because she brings some fun yet at the same time some interesting points of view.
we also have this new girl Annie who reminds me of CK. oh so much. But she's fantabulous and makes me long for the days I spent away. In school. Learning...maybe not from classes but about myself and people I thought taht I new and how relationships change over time and distance and all that jazz.
I have been very in the mood to listen to fast loud angry music...but my collection doesn't have much of that...I have some but I want something new...something different.
Less thana week until Dane Cook in Boston. It is so exciting!!!
I also am looking for a good time/enough money to go to Florida. I miss the nugget and Heather soo much it hurts all the time. I feel so worthless. Even though I wasnt' in school I felt that I had a meaning a purpose. I was responsible for Isabelle and I love her so much. And Heatehr. I felt kind of responsible for her as well. Because she saw better things in me than i saw in myself. And I wanted to be that person. All the time...And not to say that I don't feel like this for my other friends. but it is just kind of interesting that i felt this for someone older, more secure in life and who's baby i was watching.
Odd.
yup im odd
haha
I want a snuggle friend. someone to come over and hold me. that's all. i want to feel some sort of connection. and i don't mean i want to be in a relationship becaus i don't know if i do. i am so far away from that. from being anywhere near ready for something serious. just a person i can talk to and cuddle with and who will rub my back or spoon me to sleep. then roll away.
ha that might me significant. I only want someone to help me get to sleep then GO AWAY.
But this is dragging on and I feel unaccomplished.
love and hugs all around.
steff
I am loving books and obviously certain movies made after books...
But I have just been so isolated from life...at least I feel this way. I feel that I am losing grip and even though I have connections I feel like I am losing them or at least fading away.
I need to choose a path and stick to it. Find a single passion, one that will get me through, that I will be passionate about long term.
I have been getting quite restless and angry at work. It's too easy, but I need money to pay bills hah fun.
I have no respect for my boss...he's a tool and besides that he has severe little man disease.
Oh well. obviously I would be angry at having such a ridiculous job. Although I get free movies. But that isn't enough for me. I need more. more challenge.
though I will say that I work with some people who make me think and i thoroughly enjoy. Levi has been supplying me with reading materials and is always good for a chat. and dianne is good to chill with because she brings some fun yet at the same time some interesting points of view.
we also have this new girl Annie who reminds me of CK. oh so much. But she's fantabulous and makes me long for the days I spent away. In school. Learning...maybe not from classes but about myself and people I thought taht I new and how relationships change over time and distance and all that jazz.
I have been very in the mood to listen to fast loud angry music...but my collection doesn't have much of that...I have some but I want something new...something different.
Less thana week until Dane Cook in Boston. It is so exciting!!!
I also am looking for a good time/enough money to go to Florida. I miss the nugget and Heather soo much it hurts all the time. I feel so worthless. Even though I wasnt' in school I felt that I had a meaning a purpose. I was responsible for Isabelle and I love her so much. And Heatehr. I felt kind of responsible for her as well. Because she saw better things in me than i saw in myself. And I wanted to be that person. All the time...And not to say that I don't feel like this for my other friends. but it is just kind of interesting that i felt this for someone older, more secure in life and who's baby i was watching.
Odd.
yup im odd
haha
I want a snuggle friend. someone to come over and hold me. that's all. i want to feel some sort of connection. and i don't mean i want to be in a relationship becaus i don't know if i do. i am so far away from that. from being anywhere near ready for something serious. just a person i can talk to and cuddle with and who will rub my back or spoon me to sleep. then roll away.
ha that might me significant. I only want someone to help me get to sleep then GO AWAY.
But this is dragging on and I feel unaccomplished.
love and hugs all around.
steff