(no subject)
In reference to the last entry.
I don't know what to say to him. Like I want to tell him so badly, but honestly, I'm just so scared that he'll find it weird to talk to me and I'd hate that. Truthfully, I want to yell at him so badly. I want to be able to scream everything I feel about him. From the way that I love how he smirks when he just thought of something funny, to the way that he put his arm around me tonight. I want to be able to tell him that I have A.D.D. because of him. And that I want him to like me back. But I know he won't. I know he's probably in love with some other girl. One thats prettier and skinner, and probably has hair. But I don't want to change for anyone. I won't change for anyone. Because I know that if I do i won't be myself. And I want him to know that every time he smiles at me I want to scream with happiness. And if he comes to the show tomorrow, or if i see him after his game I'm going to tell him. I have to. And I'll see what happens. If he doesn't want to talk to me anymore then so be it. And whatever happens, well its going to happen. And if by some miracle he does have some sort of attraction to me then well, I'll be very happy tomorrow, and for a while down the road. I mean I have been attracted to him since I was in eighth grade. Which is completley insane. And honestly, I wanted to tell him now because I want him to know how i feel. But I don't want to tell him online. And he's not on anymore anyway. So I'll have to deal with it for now. So I'm hoping that I can tell him tomorrow.
So I'm going to go to bed soon.
♥
I don't know what to say to him. Like I want to tell him so badly, but honestly, I'm just so scared that he'll find it weird to talk to me and I'd hate that. Truthfully, I want to yell at him so badly. I want to be able to scream everything I feel about him. From the way that I love how he smirks when he just thought of something funny, to the way that he put his arm around me tonight. I want to be able to tell him that I have A.D.D. because of him. And that I want him to like me back. But I know he won't. I know he's probably in love with some other girl. One thats prettier and skinner, and probably has hair. But I don't want to change for anyone. I won't change for anyone. Because I know that if I do i won't be myself. And I want him to know that every time he smiles at me I want to scream with happiness. And if he comes to the show tomorrow, or if i see him after his game I'm going to tell him. I have to. And I'll see what happens. If he doesn't want to talk to me anymore then so be it. And whatever happens, well its going to happen. And if by some miracle he does have some sort of attraction to me then well, I'll be very happy tomorrow, and for a while down the road. I mean I have been attracted to him since I was in eighth grade. Which is completley insane. And honestly, I wanted to tell him now because I want him to know how i feel. But I don't want to tell him online. And he's not on anymore anyway. So I'll have to deal with it for now. So I'm hoping that I can tell him tomorrow.
So I'm going to go to bed soon.
♥