another ramble about sex
I was going to write this in my real journal, but for some reason wanted to make it into a public discussion. I really like taking my issues about sex and men and women online. I guess I just enjoy encouraging openness about sexuality. Or encouraging voyeurism. Or both.
SO. Sameasnever and I were watching Harold and Maude last night. Hot damn, it is an amazing movie, WAY ahead of its time. But it got me to thinking about the nature of attraction and what I would like in a partner, how physical looks play into it, and sex with girls versus sex with guys.
(a pointless aside: I AM going to be a Maude when I'm older. Just a warning.)
Sex with girls (in my limited experience) has so far been very friendly, safe, and also incredibly arousing and erotic. The main focus has been exploration, or so it seemed from my end. With a girl, it is entirely normal to spend hours kissing and giggling and touching and making eyes at each other, before going further.
Sex with guys, especially the last guy I was with, was about sex. I've only once had an experience where it was very much onc of mutual arousal and investigation into the body. It was fucking beautiful. It was also, sort of unfortunately, a one night stand with a New Zealander who was eleven years older than I (yay for traveling!!). Nevertheless, it still has stood out in my mind as one of the most erotic sexual experiences I've had.
With most of the other guys I've been with, foreplay has always had this sense that they're just getting this over with, rather than actually enjoying it. I can relate; I really dislike giving a guy oral sex. I guess it's usually a hot/cold thing with going down on someone; you either enjoy it or you don't, for whatever reason. If a man doesn't like going down on a woman, it kind of shows in the fact that they don't do it very well.
Usually, I'd be okay with skipping through the foreplay and getting down to business, so to speak. The reason for that was that most of the guys I'd been with were semi-clueless as to how to give a girl an orgasm (the only exceptions here were Chuck and the New Zealand Guy). Girls that have learned how to masturbate know how to get themselves, and thus most other girls, off. They're also better at taking direction, I've noticed, and much better at taking subtle hints.
So... why aren't I a lesbian? Fucked if I know. I really enjoy sex with men, but I haven't had a boyfriend in a year and have mostly forgotten how to flirt with them in the meantime. I just act weirder and hope they desire me (like Maude and Harold) based off the force of my personality.
That doesn't seem to be working. I've been thinking about just calling up the current male crush and just asking if he'd mind coming over and having sex with me for a few hours.
Something tells me that'd scare him off. Why though? I'd be pretty excited if someone called me up and invited me over for some coffee and intercourse.
SO. Sameasnever and I were watching Harold and Maude last night. Hot damn, it is an amazing movie, WAY ahead of its time. But it got me to thinking about the nature of attraction and what I would like in a partner, how physical looks play into it, and sex with girls versus sex with guys.
(a pointless aside: I AM going to be a Maude when I'm older. Just a warning.)
Sex with girls (in my limited experience) has so far been very friendly, safe, and also incredibly arousing and erotic. The main focus has been exploration, or so it seemed from my end. With a girl, it is entirely normal to spend hours kissing and giggling and touching and making eyes at each other, before going further.
Sex with guys, especially the last guy I was with, was about sex. I've only once had an experience where it was very much onc of mutual arousal and investigation into the body. It was fucking beautiful. It was also, sort of unfortunately, a one night stand with a New Zealander who was eleven years older than I (yay for traveling!!). Nevertheless, it still has stood out in my mind as one of the most erotic sexual experiences I've had.
With most of the other guys I've been with, foreplay has always had this sense that they're just getting this over with, rather than actually enjoying it. I can relate; I really dislike giving a guy oral sex. I guess it's usually a hot/cold thing with going down on someone; you either enjoy it or you don't, for whatever reason. If a man doesn't like going down on a woman, it kind of shows in the fact that they don't do it very well.
Usually, I'd be okay with skipping through the foreplay and getting down to business, so to speak. The reason for that was that most of the guys I'd been with were semi-clueless as to how to give a girl an orgasm (the only exceptions here were Chuck and the New Zealand Guy). Girls that have learned how to masturbate know how to get themselves, and thus most other girls, off. They're also better at taking direction, I've noticed, and much better at taking subtle hints.
So... why aren't I a lesbian? Fucked if I know. I really enjoy sex with men, but I haven't had a boyfriend in a year and have mostly forgotten how to flirt with them in the meantime. I just act weirder and hope they desire me (like Maude and Harold) based off the force of my personality.
That doesn't seem to be working. I've been thinking about just calling up the current male crush and just asking if he'd mind coming over and having sex with me for a few hours.
Something tells me that'd scare him off. Why though? I'd be pretty excited if someone called me up and invited me over for some coffee and intercourse.