(no subject)
"mediocre ambitions, mediocre achievements"
My dad said those four words to me tonight after recieving a letter from Peabody. It didn't even say Dear Michael. It said Dear Student. That's all I am to these people. I don't think he understands that.
My mom was thrilled. I mean, a letter from Peabody! To her, thats like an invitation to have dinner with Richard Gere.
The letter classified me with 2300 other students in the United States. Over a 700 in Math on the SAT and an interest in majoring in Music Performance. I don't even think I wanted to do that. I just felt compelled to put it because maybe I had a jazz gig later that night.
Anyway, Peabody wrote that they offered this position of Music Performance at the conservatory to 10 incoming freshmen. 10 out of 2300. Thats a .4 acceptance. Not only that, but obviously, auditions are necessary. I don't know who's heard me and who hasn't, but I can play. I'm pretty good. Nothing special though. I don't think my parents understand that either.
So when I told my parents that I threw away the letter, my dad said those four words. "Mediocre ambitions, mediocre achievements." I don't know why he said it, but it almost made me cry. For the first time in more than a year and a half.
Just because i don't want to go into a career of Music Performance, does that make my ambitions mediocre? Just because I applied to UF and not Peabody, does that make my ambitions mediocre? I got a 1400 on my SAT, and i was invited to the UF honors college. Is that mediocre?
I don't even think he knows who I am. He just knows what I do. He doesn't know my dreams or my passions. He doesn't know of my lust for the high life that I've tasted. And boy was it sweet. He knows I'm in drama, I'm in jazz band, and I'm on the lacrosse team. But since when are those my life. My life, as I know it, is going out on the weekends to see stage productions and wish i was onstage, go to a basketball or hockey game and wish I was on the court or ice. I wish I were doing a million different things every day. I don't think he understands that.
So I want to be a business major instead of a Music Performance Major. Is that so mediocre? I guess it could be construed that way. But it's clear that he doesn't know that I plan on going to Law School at Columbia in New York, opening up my own firm with my best friend, starting my own business, and buying season tickets on the floor to the New York Knicks, all by the time I'm 35. I'm attracted to luxury and spending. My dad doesn't do any of that. Well, he has his own business, but he's struggling to keep that up and running. I guess his ambitions were mediocre. Mine certainly aren't. I just wish he'd understand that.
Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent.
My dad said those four words to me tonight after recieving a letter from Peabody. It didn't even say Dear Michael. It said Dear Student. That's all I am to these people. I don't think he understands that.
My mom was thrilled. I mean, a letter from Peabody! To her, thats like an invitation to have dinner with Richard Gere.
The letter classified me with 2300 other students in the United States. Over a 700 in Math on the SAT and an interest in majoring in Music Performance. I don't even think I wanted to do that. I just felt compelled to put it because maybe I had a jazz gig later that night.
Anyway, Peabody wrote that they offered this position of Music Performance at the conservatory to 10 incoming freshmen. 10 out of 2300. Thats a .4 acceptance. Not only that, but obviously, auditions are necessary. I don't know who's heard me and who hasn't, but I can play. I'm pretty good. Nothing special though. I don't think my parents understand that either.
So when I told my parents that I threw away the letter, my dad said those four words. "Mediocre ambitions, mediocre achievements." I don't know why he said it, but it almost made me cry. For the first time in more than a year and a half.
Just because i don't want to go into a career of Music Performance, does that make my ambitions mediocre? Just because I applied to UF and not Peabody, does that make my ambitions mediocre? I got a 1400 on my SAT, and i was invited to the UF honors college. Is that mediocre?
I don't even think he knows who I am. He just knows what I do. He doesn't know my dreams or my passions. He doesn't know of my lust for the high life that I've tasted. And boy was it sweet. He knows I'm in drama, I'm in jazz band, and I'm on the lacrosse team. But since when are those my life. My life, as I know it, is going out on the weekends to see stage productions and wish i was onstage, go to a basketball or hockey game and wish I was on the court or ice. I wish I were doing a million different things every day. I don't think he understands that.
So I want to be a business major instead of a Music Performance Major. Is that so mediocre? I guess it could be construed that way. But it's clear that he doesn't know that I plan on going to Law School at Columbia in New York, opening up my own firm with my best friend, starting my own business, and buying season tickets on the floor to the New York Knicks, all by the time I'm 35. I'm attracted to luxury and spending. My dad doesn't do any of that. Well, he has his own business, but he's struggling to keep that up and running. I guess his ambitions were mediocre. Mine certainly aren't. I just wish he'd understand that.
Thanks for listening. I just needed to vent.