Lineage - Chapter 03: Broken Words and Shattered Hearts
Title: Lineage, Chapter 03: Broken Words and Shattered Hearts
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Thanks to his magic, Merlin always knew he had a weird heritage that his mother did not liking talking about. What he didn't expect was to find out she was a princess of the kingdom of Dyfed - making him heir to the throne. This changed...everything.
Word Count: 7200
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen/Morgana
Warnings: mentions of violence, swearing, mentions of sex
Episode warnings: Post-S1 AU, but draws heavily on elements of S2 and S3
Beta: arithilim
Notes: Well, I couldn't update my X-Men AU, but this one was sitting in my hard-drive for quite a while, so I finished it and got the lovely arithilim to beta it, and now it's here for you guys!
~*~
<< Previous Chapter
Master Post
I’m the Lost Princess of Dyfed.
Merlin stared at her, before looking around himself at all the others.
King Roderick was staring back at Merlin in shock, before turning to Mother. “Your…your son?”
King Roderick - he’s my uncle.
She nodded. “He…he was ill at birth, but he lived.”
Rhodri was my father.
Merlin shook his head. “No, no, this- I can’t be awake, this is all so mad-”
“Merlin.”
He looked to see Mother staring back at him. Her voice was thick and there were tear tracks down her face.
“He-they…” she stopped, then started again. “I’m sorry, Merlin - it’s the truth.”
“You still haven’t explained,” Lord Haul said, voice carefully neutral, though bordering on anger.
“She will,” King Roderick said coldly to the lord, before turning back to Mother.
Merlin was still crouched before her, and he looked into her eyes, wondering if she saw his confusion as easily as he could see her fear.
“Can - this is…” Merlin stared at her. “This doesn’t make sense.”
She nodded, swallowing down some tears.
“It’s a long story,” she said.
“Tell us, anyway,” Lord Dion demanded.
Mother shut her eyes for a moment, before she started speaking.
“I - everyone knows some form of the story…there was a man I…I fell in love with - at the time, we held a private handfasting, so Merlin would not be born a bastard child. There was supposed to be a public announcement and a public wedding and everything - but then civil war broke out.”
She opened her eyes to face them all, before looking down at Merlin imploringly.
Merlin just stared back. He wanted answers. Now.
“We hid, Merlin and I, and his father had gone into hiding long before, at Merlin’s birth…Merlin was born so ill, we all thought he was going to die, and his father could not bear it and ran. We never heard from him again…as far as we knew, he died. King Rhodri…Father…fell ill. The capital was being overrun. Everything was - my father eventually realized the kingdom was going to splinter and break, anyway, and decided that Merlin and I should go into hiding until at least things were less dangerous…we waited, for years….Father died, and everything I heard about Dyfed was so - it was safer for us to remain hidden…so we did. I never told Merlin the truth, or anyone else…the only one who knows is Gaius - he helped me flee in the first place.”
Gaius knew?!
And he still was stuck back at Mother was a princess.
“Wait.”
Merlin turned to see Arthur walking slowly towards them.
“So - you’re Princess Hunith - King Rhodri’s daughter…” she nodded.
“Then,” Uther began, then shook his head. “Then you’re the heir to the throne, then?”
There was a moment of tense silence before she slowly nodded.
Heir to the throne.
His mother was the heir to a throne.
Shouting erupted around the room, mostly from the nobles of the Dyfed delegation, though some from Camelot chipped in as well.
But Merlin didn’t care about them.
She lied to him.
She knew who his father was. Where they came from. Where Merlin came from, and his magic.
She never told him anything.
“You lied to me,” he accused. Because it was either that or she was a princess and both were equally impossible and- and-
“Merlin-”
“You lied to me!” he shouted.
Merlin distantly realized it was quiet in the council room, everyone staring at him.
She was crying again.
“Merlin, I’m sorry.”
Merlin just stared again, growing numb. She knew, Gaius knew - who else knew? What else was a lie?
“I think,” he heard Uther say behind them. “That some family matters need to be settled before we address matters of state.”
“If you think for one moment you can order us out,” Lord Haul started, prompting Merlin to turn to and face them, looking to see what he was saying.
“I am ordering you out,” Roderick said sternly. “I need to speak to my niece.”
For a moment, it would look like they would protest more, when Arthur and Uther both turned their most menacing glares on them all.
Merlin knew enough of Dyfed’s politics to know they were not used to listening to a king, and were even perfectly accustomed to ignoring Roderick’s whims. But even they knew better than to anger Arthur and Uther when they had those expressions on their faces - especially with Arthur’s hand resting oh-so-comfortably on the pommel of his sword.
Merlin turned back to face his mother as the nobles all filed out of the room.
Soon, it was just Uther, Arthur, Roderick, Mother, and him.
He got up and backed away from her, turning away for a moment to look at the others, before turning back to face her.
“You lied to me,” Merlin repeated in the silence. Because that was all there was to it.
“I had to!” she said.
“You didn’t have to lie to me!”
“What would you have done if I’d told you the truth?”
“Who is my father?”
That seemed to throw her for a loop.
“Merlin…?”
“Who. Is. My. Father?” he demanded. “I had to spend a better part of my youth being called a bastard child and the son of a whore-”
“-what?!” Roderick shouted in protective, almost paternal, fury.
“-because I didn’t have a father,” Merlin said, ignoring him. “So the least you can do is tell me who he is!”
She looked hesitantly at Uther of all people, before saying softly, “His name…his name is Balinor.”
“The Dragonlord?”
Merlin turned to Uther, surprised.
“You…you knew him?” he asked, desperately.
Balinor. It was just a name, but that name was his father.
He had a father!
“He was a Dragonlord,” Uther slowly, almost accusingly towards Mother. “He used to serve me.”
“Used to?” Arthur asked.
“…what the Dragonlords did to tame dragons…I’ve been told was not magic…but what I saw was far too close to magic for me to risk it. Once the last dragon was killed save the one beneath our castle, I had all the Dragonlords banished from Camelot.”
Mother nodded.
“Balinor had helped us with problematic dragons before,” she said. “We were happy to take him in. “And…he would have been a good consort for me. At the time, we thought it would have a stabilizing affect - I would not be showing favor to any one cantref or nobleman, but a hero from another kingdom we had little relation to at the time, and we hoped that would quell some of the fears and rumors flying around that were fuelling the conflict…but obviously that’s not what happened.”
She looked back at her son. “Merlin?” She asked, in a tone asking him to just say something, voice tense and quivering with both concern and frustration.
How much of his life was he missing because of what she didn’t tell him?
“You knew who my father was?”
Her jaw tensed and her eyes grew firm.
“I had no choice,” she said. “I’m sorry, but it was the only thing I could do.”
“Like hell!”
“Merlin!” Arthur said as she winced at the harshness of his voice. Merlin didn’t care.
“You lied to me!”
“I had no choice!” she repeated.
She was abruptly standing, now, and right before Merlin.
“You know exactly what would have happened if I had told you, Merlin - you would never have been content with your life, never have been happy, and long ago you would have run off to Dyfed and gotten yourself killed doing something stupid and rash! What good would have it have done for me to tell you?”
“I deserved to know!” Merlin snapped. “It was my right to know!” he shouted. She’d had no right to keep this from him.
She and he both stood firm, until finally, Roderick stepped in and said, “Perhaps it is best to focus on the future instead of the past?” Merlin momentarily sympathized with Arthur’s frustration about his kindly old man trying to be king. “The matter can be settled once we were all back in Dyfed-”
“In Dyfed?!” Merlin whirled around to face the foreign king. “Who said anything about going to Dyfed?”
Roderick looked at Merlin, surprised at his confusion. “You must come back - now that you and your mother are known to be alive and well, you must return to Dyfed.”
“Why?” he demanded. “I can’t just leave Camelot…it’s my home! And I just- I can’t-”
“What did you expect?” Uther asked.
“Merlin.”
He turned again to face Arthur, who was looking at him with cautious misery. “Do you realize who and what you are?”
Merlin frowned. “What-” Your sorcerer. Your friend. Yours.
Arthur cut him off with a sigh.
“Your mother is the daughter of King Rhodri,” Arthur said slowly, like Merlin was some frightened animal. He certainly felt like one, right now. “That makes her heir to the throne…and you, as well. You have to go back with them because you are the Prince of Dyfed.”
Merlin froze.
You are the Prince of Dyfed.
That’s…the world was ending.
That had to be it - his blood was frozen, his breathing stopped, and none of this could be happening.
“But…I…I’m not- I’m just…Merlin…” he said, almost pleadingly. He wasn’t a prince. A servant, a sorcerer, any number of other things, but not a prince.
Arthur shook his head. “You never were ‘just Merlin’, Merlin…we just didn’t know it.”
He looked around helplessly at the others. Mother wasn’t looking at him, Uther was focusing on Roderick, Roderick was looking at him with a failed attempt at encouragement in his eyes, and Arthur - Arthur was looking at him in pain and apology.
“I…I can’t,” he said.
And then he ran.
~*~
“Merlin!” Hunith called. But she didn’t try to stop him, and neither did Arthur.
The doors burst open with the force of Merlin’s running - and probably with a little help from his magic. His dramatic exit was followed by the shouts of several surprised nobles outside as Merlin burst through them, before suddenly they were flooding back into the council chambers, demanding to know what was going on.
“What happened?” Geoffrey finally asked directly of the four at the head of the table after calming down the other nobles.
“…it was a bit of a shock for him, is all,” Arthur said. “To find out he is the Prince of Dyfed.”
Many of the Dyfed delegation’s faces darkened as they were also struck with the realization.
Arthur turned to Hunith. “Let me go deal with him.
“I…” she shook her head. “I think I need to return to my room for now.”
“I’ll bring him up once he’s calmed down,” Arthur promised, and turned to run out of the council chambers and after Merlin.
~*~
Rather predictably, Merlin was down in the hunting kennels, playing with the puppies.
Arthur stopped just short of the edge of the kennels, taking a few moments to just watch Merlin like this.
Nature always calmed Merlin, and that included animals. Arthur regularly found his impudent sorcerer down here, playing with the hunting pups, using the training methods of the houndmaster so the formidable man would turn a blind eye to Merlin’s presence.
Arthur let himself be enveloped in the sound of Merlin’s laughter, reveling in the sight of Merlin’s smiles, the dopey grin he always had on his face when playing with animals. As Merlin threw the blood-scented balls around and half the puppies chased after him, the other half were curled around him in little sleeping balls of fur, cuddled up to the warmth of Merlin’s back and legs. In his lap, he had two or three yipping puppies, petting them as he watched the rest run around excitedly in kennel.
Eventually, though, he had to break the moment.
“If they end up too soft to hunt,” Arthur called out. “I’m blaming you.”
Merlin didn’t stop smiling, but much of the joy left his eyes when he looked at Arthur.
“You can’t hide in here forever,” Arthur said.
“Why not?” Merlin asked, but obligingly handed the ball back to the houndmaster and stood up, dislodging the sleeping pups around him. They all whined, and Merlin probably would have stayed back if Arthur hadn’t pulled him away.
“She lied to me,” Merlin finally said as they walked away.
“Merlin-”
“My whole life!” he cried out. “It’s - how could she have lied to me about who we are for my whole life?!”
“You can’t blame her-”
“Yes I can!” Merlin shouted, whirling around to face Arthur. “You don’t know what it’s like-”
“You’re right, Merlin,” Arthur snapped, grabbed onto Merlin’s shoulders to hold him still. “I have no idea what it’s like to know the person you love and trust the most in this world has lied to you the entire time you’ve known them.”
There was silence.
“…that was different,” Merlin muttered petulantly. “If I’d told you, you would’ve killed me.”
“And your life could have been made much, much worse if you had been told of all this before now…” Arthur winced and realized it might be best to tell Merlin his expectations right now. “It probably will be now that you do know.”
Merlin was still trembling beneath his hands, so he directed Merlin towards the stables for now instead of taking him straight to Gaius’s chambers.
Horses worked just as well as puppies when it came to Merlin.
Once there, Merlin immediately went to Tempest’s stall and buried his face in her shoulder, wrapping one arm gently around her neck with the other one over her shoulders as she neighed softly in support, for once holding still, as if sensing what Merlin needed.
Arthur laid a broad hand on Merlin’s back, gently rubbing up and down, before giving up and wrapping his arms around Merlin’s waist and chest.
He didn’t want to lose Merlin. But…
“What am I supposed to do, Arthur?”
…Morgana had said that even if they were separated, they would still be bonded together.
He rested his cheek against Merlin’s neck.
“It’ll be okay,” he said quietly.
“How?” Merlin demanded, with a voice that made Arthur realize abruptly that Merlin was crying.
He kissed Merlin’s neck, before saying, “Do you remember what Morgana said?”
“Oh, gods, her vision!” Merlin cried out, shuddering in Arthur’s arms. “I- we-”
“Merlin,” he said, squeezing Merlin to get his attention. “Even if we’re apart, we’ll still be together. We all knew that there was a good chance that one day, you would have had to leave, anyway, if Father had found out about you and Morgana.” He shut his eyes, pressing the front of his head against the back of Merlin’s as he pulled Merlin closer so they were pressed flush together. “At least you aren’t being run out of the kingdom, and you don’t have to wait until my father dies to be allowed back in.”
“But-”
“I have to hang onto that, Merlin,” Arthur said quietly. “We both do.”
He felt Merlin sigh against him. “I…I guess…”
Merlin finally turned around so he could hug Arthur, and for a while, they just stood there, living in each other’s embrace, drawing their existence from each other.
Arthur wondered if he could live without this.
There were footsteps outside, and the moment was broken.
Arthur drew back, and put a reassuring hand on Merlin’s back between his shoulders.
“I’ll stay with you,” Arthur promised. “But we really need to go see your mother.”
“Thanks,” Merlin said, tone dejected and resigned. He took a deep breath, and stepped out of the stable, Arthur beside him and guiding him along.
Outside were the usual collection of stable boys, gossiping furiously among each other. They all fell silent, though, when they saw Merlin.
Arthur’s stomach sank.
“Is it true, mate?” one of them asked Merlin. “Your mother’s the Lost Princess of Dyfed?”
Merlin was frozen, tense and staring in shock, and Arthur took over, saying for him, “Yes, it’s true.”
The boys gawped, and Arthur pushed Merlin forward.
Over and over again, they were stopped and everyone asked is it true, Merlin, is your mother the Lost Princess, Merlin, are you the heir of Dyfed, Merlin…?
Merlin grew more and more tense under Arthur’s hand, to the point that Merlin was trembling again as they neared the tower in which Gaius’s chambers resided.
Needing to do something about it, Arthur pulled him into an alcove, and before Merlin could react, kissed him.
Arthur normally let Merlin take the lead when it was just the two of them being intimate. But right now, Arthur pressed his lips forcefully against Merlin’s, until Merlin was melted pliantly beneath him as he wrapped his arms around his trembling love. It ended with Merlin desperately mouthing at Arthur’s neck, sniffing as if about to cry again.
“It’s not going to be okay,” Merlin whispered.
“Yes it will,” Arthur said.
“You can’t promise that.”
“Yes I can,” Arthur said, leaning up to kiss Merlin’s forehead. “I just did. You should have heard it, with ears as big as yours.”
Merlin laughed, a choked but genuine sound, and Arthur smiled victoriously.
He nipped at Merlin’s ears one last time, just because they were irresistible like that, then pulled him out of the alcove and back towards Gaius’s chambers - and to face Merlin’s mother.
Except when they got there, two guards have been stationed outside the door in addition to the standard corridor guards, and inside, Gaius was serving tea to both Hunith and King Roderick.
Their heads snapped up when the door opened, and Merlin froze in the doorway as he stared at Hunith and the king.
Sighing, Arthur gently pushed Merlin fully inside and shut the door behind them.
“King Roderick,” Arthur greeted carefully.
“Prince Arthur.”
“Merlin, Arthur,” Gaius said, gesturing to the bench opposite from where Hunith and Roderick sat. “Please, sit. Hunith has been filling in King Roderick on the aspects of the truth that the rest of the Court could not be subject to.”
“I was just telling him,” Hunith said quietly. “About Merlin’s birth as a cambion.”
Roderick shot a sharp look towards Arthur, but Arthur just smiled back benignly. “Don’t worry - I don’t share all my father’s convictions.” Let the man see for himself that Arthur wasn’t his father.
Roderick slowly nodded and turned his attentions back to Hunith, as Gaius set about meddling with his potions and something that might have been tea.
“Balinor and I - we were friends, good friends. We were close, maybe bordering on love…I don’t know if we were ever there. But we had a ‘night of passion’, certainly - because he was possessed by an incubus, and I was enchanted therein…though to be fair, with me and Balinor, it didn’t take much. The rest of the story is much the same - he would have made a good and potentially stabilizing consort for me…then, of course, everything changed.”
“I had known,” Roderick said, addressing a sullen and silent Merlin, who was currently refusing to look up from his lap. “That you were born a cambion. But when I heard you were born without breath or heartbeat, I had thought my brother was exaggerating.”
“He wasn’t,” Hunith said. “Merlin was perfectly alive and healthy, and his blood was moving…just without a heartbeat, or air.” She smiled apologetically at Merlin. “I’ve told you this part, somewhat.” She looked back at Roderick. “I’m afraid he didn’t get much sleep those first few days - when he was asleep, he looked so dead, we kept waking him up just to make sure he was still alive.”
Arthur felt Merlin flinch, slightly, against him, and under the table he grabbed Merlin’s hand, trying desperately not to imagine what it would be like if Merlin was still like that. He had enough nightmares as it was about Merlin dying at his father’s hand - having to deal with a Merlin that had no breath or heartbeat would have been hell on top of all that. Half the time, getting his hands on a living, breathing Merlin was the only thing that calmed him down after waking from his nightmares.
(What was he supposed to do after his nightmares if Merlin was in another kingdom far away?)
“And Merlin…” Hunith looked between her son and her uncle. She looked at Arthur, speculating, and with a start, Arthur realized what she wanted. She had that specific fear they both shared about Merlin, rare and yet constant about them as they took care of Merlin between them. But if Merlin was going back to Dyfed, to rule, and Roderick already know so much else, anyway…
…only slightly, so only Hunith would clearly see, he nodded his support.
Hunith looked to Merlin. “Show him,” the depth of her voice promising that there was only one thing she could be talking about.
Merlin tensed, before he stared, slack-jawed, at his mother.
“Mother, you can’t be serious-”
“Show him, Merlin,” she repeated firmly.
“Show me what?” Roderick demanded.
Merlin sighed, and gripped tightly at Arthur’s hand again, squeezing nearly to the point of breaking bone, before he started muttering the ancient words under his breath.
Now Roderick’s jaw dropped as Merlin’s eyes glowed gold, and the door behind them locked and every candle in the room was burning.
“Merlin,” Gaius reprimanded. “Don’t waste the spare candles.”
Another murmured word, another flash of Merlin’s golden eyes, and almost all those candles were extinguished again.
Once the king recovered himself, the first thing he did was look at Arthur, but Arthur just raised his eyebrow, ostensibly to convey see, I told you I’m not my father, but mostly to say, he’s mine, and look at what he can do.
“Well…” Roderick said. He paused, then chuckled. “Blue and gold - your eyes flash between the colors of your kingdom.”
Merlin gasped, and abruptly turned away.
“Camelot is my home,” he repeated.
Arthur shut his eyes. He wanted his kingdom to be Merlin’s home, he wanted so, so badly to keep Merlin at his side forever, tucked away in his bed where he could keep Merlin warm and safe and protected away from the rest of the world.
But he also knew that would never happen.
Maybe the next best thing would be for him and Merlin to one day be kings together.
That thought was definitely something worth hanging on to.
~*~
Merlin slowly woke up, cocooned in the warmth of the royal bedding, to the usual feeling of Arthur’s chest beneath his head, and Arthur’s limbs wrapped possessively around Merlin’s. Slow, peaceful, calm, and before Arthur - this was his favorite way to wake up. So why was he feelings like there was something wrong with him, with today?
He stretched out his sleep-addled limbs, curling around Arthur, poking his head out from the warm and comfy bedding to look around the room, wondering what he forgot. Well, dinner leftovers were still sitting on the table, their clothes were scattered around the bed like usual, and at the foot of the bed he spied his neckerchief, the one from his mother…
…which had come from her father, the King of Dyfed.
And it all came rushing back.
Gasping, he shook as he remembered his world being turned inside-out and upside down, and beside him, he felt Arthur wake up, and then felt strong arms wrap around him and pull him close to a warm, firm chest.
“Shh,” Arthur hushed gently, petting Merlin’s shoulder as he tugged Merlin close, and Merlin leaned into the touch, trying not to think of the months ahead he might have to go without this.
“I don’t want to go,” Merlin said, crying, his voice thick with tears.
“And I don’t want you to go,” Arthur said. “But you have to.”
“How long do you think I will have to spend there before I can come back?”
Arthur didn’t respond.
Merlin frowned.
“Arthur?”
Arthur sighed. “If…Merlin, if you are the Prince - those people, they are suffering so much. And you can fix that.”
But to fix that he would need to-
Oh, no.
“Arthur,” Merlin said, silently pleading that Arthur was saying something different, something not what Merlin thought he was saying. “What are you saying?”
Arthur sighed, pulling back a little to look into Merlin’s eyes apologetically.
“I’m saying, Merlin, that…that if you are the Prince - you should accept it. And that if you accept it…you won’t be coming back.”
“NO!” Merlin shouted, pressing forward and burying himself in Arthur again. “No, no, no, no no no nononono-”
“Merlin-”
“No!”
Arthur just gave another morose sigh and pulled him close again.
~*~
Merlin took a deep breath at the door to the kitchens, before slipping in, trying to go unnoticed.
It didn’t work.
“Hey, Mary,” Merlin said as he bumped into the breadkneader. “Sorry about that.”
“Oh, it’s all right,” she said, looking up. “It’s o- Merlin!” Then she paused. “Or…’sire’?”
“No!” Merlin cried out. That really put his ‘don’t be noticed’ plan to hell as most of the servants nearby looked at him, which caused everyone else to in a wave of turning heads. “I don’t care what my mother or Prince Arthur or anyone else says - I’m not a prince.”
“Er…okay…um…right, well…” she seemed unsure of how to react to Merlin’s vehemence, and Merlin stormed off towards where Mabyn prepared trays for servants to take to their masters.
“Can I just have Prince Arthur’s breakfast, please?” he pleaded.
Thankfully, she treated him the same way she always did - with a look of exasperation on her face, she prepared enough food for two people, as she knew Merlin ate with Arthur, and not-so-gently reminded Merlin, “Don’t you dare be spilling this!” as she handed it to him, and if Merlin was a little more grateful to her than he usually bothered to be, she didn’t comment, and on his way out, neither did anyone else.
~*~
“You said Arthur was my destiny,” Merlin shouted up into the black cavern. “How can I serve him if I’m stuck ruling another kingdom?!”
The Dragon laughed as he landed before Merlin, before craning his neck down so his face was right in front of the frustrated sorcerer.
“I only ever said your destiny was to be beside him,” the stupid, useless, completely incomprehensible overgrown lizard said. “That cannot be if you are below him.”
“It can’t be if I’m not here, either!” Merlin snapped.
“Until now, it has been the Prince learning how to be the Once and Future King and learning how to lead. Now, it is your turn.”
“What does that even mean?” Merlin said.
“Distance has no meaning to two souls bound by the bonds of destiny. Two sides of the same coin are still of the same coin, even if they are separated across the world.”
“That doesn’t make sense!” Merlin protested.
The Dragon just laughed again.
“All in good time, young warlock. Different kingdoms will have little meaning in a united Albion. Until then, you two princes must help each other become kings.”
“But I don’t want to be a king!”
“Destiny has little care for the desires of the heart, young warlock - even the gods have little say over such matters.”
“What-”
“It will be some time before I see you again,” the Dragon said. “And I doubt our next meeting will be under such…auspicious conditions as they have been. So until then, young warlock, fare thee well.”
“What do you-”
But the Dragon was already taking off, and with a few flaps of his wings, he was gone.
“…stupid overgrown lizard,” Merlin muttered.
“I heard that!” roared an amused voice from the darkness.
“Good!” Merlin shouted back, before stomping out of the cavern all together.
~*~
The Dyfed delegation had originally intended to stay another ten days, but with the shocking revelation of Hunith, they were leaving three days early. That gave Arthur one more week with Merlin.
As Hunith talked and talked and talked with other noblemen from Dyfed about arrangements once she returned, Arthur shut himself and Merlin away from it all, holed up in his chambers or out wandering in the forest, sometimes not even bothering with the excuse of hunting to leave the castle and city limits.
“Merlin,” Arthur said as they spent a night out under the stars, before Merlin went away. Arthur knew they shouldn’t be doing this, they should be working with the Dyfed delegation. But…
…he and Merlin were each other’s souls, loves, lives and destinies. To have to bear the thought of being separated from him - it was horrifying to think of.
“The overgrown lizard says it’s been you learning how to lead Albion, and now it’s supposed to be my turn or some such bollocks,” Merlin mumbled when they shared their bedroll that night, wrapped around each other in the chilling autumn evening.
“…if Albion is going to be united, one day, then living in two different kingdoms won’t matter,” Arthur said. He paused, then added, “Besides, now that you’re royalty, maybe I can marry you!”
Arthur smiled at the laugh that bubbled reluctantly out of Merlin. “I don’t - you need heirs, Arthur.”
“We both would,” Arthur said. “Didn’t you say there were magical means around this? Besides, I’m sure we can make other arrangements. We’ll be kings, one day!”
He felt Merlin tense up in his arms. “Oh, gods, Arthur, I’m not going to be a king! I’ll…I’ll sort everything out and come back and-”
“Merlin,” Arthur said, scooting down in the bedroll so he and Merlin were facing each other directly. “You’re - you’re the prince. Heir to the throne. That’s - you have a responsibility to help your people - because that’s exactly what the people of Dyfed are: yours.”
“But I…” Merlin pressed his face against Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur wrapped his hand around the back of Merlin’s neck protectively.
“I…I love your mother, Merlin, I truly do - she brought you into the world, so I can’t feel anything for her otherwise. But respect can vary - and I’m sorry, Merlin, but she abandoned her people.” He pulled back a little to cup Merlin’s face in his hands, the flames playing with the shadows across his ethereal features. “You, Merlin - you care about people. You can be better than your legacy so far, your grandfather who let the kingdom fall apart after bringing it together, your great-uncle letting it rot from the inside out, and your mother abandoning it.”
He felt Merlin trembling against his hands, and leaned in to kiss Merlin, pressing his own lips to Merlin’s soft and sad ones, desperate and clinging, the two trying to melt into each other until they were just one whole instead of two halves of one.
“I’m just a servant,” Merlin insisted quietly.
“No, Merlin, you’re not - you’re a sorcerer, a lover, a prince, and a good, good man. You could be exactly what Dyfed needs,” Arthur said, resting his forehead against Merlin’s. “We both said Dyfed needs a lot of help. Maybe what it needs is your mother back - and one day, to have you as king.”
“…I don’t want to leave you.” And that was the crux of the problem.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Arthur said. “But this world is bigger than us both.”
That night, Arthur held Merlin as they lay awake till dawn.
~*~
“…enchanted mirrors, Morgana?” Arthur asked. “Really?”
“What?” she demanded. “They work.”
Merlin looked down between the two hand-mirrors in his hands. Enchanted so their owners could talk to each other through them over vast, vast distances. A few simple spells to activate and control them, without taking excessive energy from the person holding them.
“Come on, I need your blood for the last bit,” she said, taking her mirrors and setting them down on the table, murmuring ancient words until the gems inlaid around this vain gifts from other kings started glowing, particularly bright being matching rubies at the cross-section of the handle and the mirrors’ frames.
With a little prick of their fingers, Merlin and Arthur both dropped a single a drop of blood on each gem, which glowed before absorbing the blood.
“There,” she said. “Now so long as you are near the mirror - basically within the castle if you’re keeping it in your room - you’ll feel it in you if the other one tries to contact you. The glass will fog up when they try, and if it’s safe you just have to blow on it a bit in order to talk to each other.”
Merlin smiled at her gratefully. “Thank you. You…this is…thank you.”
Morgana smiled sadly. “I’m going to miss you, Merlin.”
“We all will,” Gwen added, holding Merlin’s hand in her own.
Merlin nodded tiredly, looking down at the mirrors as he leaned into Arthur’s strong frame.
He was going to need all the strength he could get.
~*~
They were clawing at each other almost desperately as they fell back onto Arthur’s bed - but Merlin was leaving for another kingdom tomorrow, he had every right to be desperate.
He desperately didn’t want to leave.
“Merlin,” Arthur panted, pressing hot, hot lips to Merlin’s, pulling back to watch in delight as Merlin spelled their clothes off. “Merlin, my Merlin.”
Merlin pulled Arthur close to him and mumbled mine into the flesh of his shoulder.
They didn’t let go of each other after that, holding on to each other as Arthur rode Merlin, not even using oil as he tried desperately to imprint Merlin inside him, or when he moved inside Merlin, Merlin desperately trying to keep Arthur in him forever.
That night, as the moon just started to fall, they fell asleep clutching onto each other for dear life, letting their trembling bodies do all the talking.
~*~
Merlin stared morosely at his appearance in the mirror as Gwen and Morgana flitted around Arthur’s room, shifting through his old clothes, Arthur standing behind Merlin.
“I don’t need these,” Merlin said.
“This is for Camelot’s sake, Merlin,” Arthur said. “It would reflect poorly on us to let you leave as the servant you were assumed to be rather than the Prince you are.”
“But I’m not a prince,” Merlin said, leaning into Arthur’s embrace as Arthur wound his arms around Merlin’s waist and rested his chin on Merlin’s shoulder, looking into the mirror as well.
“You are now,” he murmured, kissing Merlin’s ear and smiling at the mirror. “You look brilliant.”
“I look ridiculous,” Merlin said, staring once again at the tight black breeches and soft blue tunic with the wide green belt at his hips. “Really ridiculous - I look like I’m dressed like you.”
“That would because you’re wearing his old clothes, Merlin,” Morgana said, holding up another jacket of Arthur’s and eying it critically as Gwen wiped some tears away from her eyes and folded some more of the clothes Arthur was giving up into the bag for Merlin.
Merlin took one look at the rich, brown jacket with its light-tan embroidery and snapped, “I don’t need that! I’ll look horrible!”
“Nonsense, Merlin, it will look brilliant with that tunic,” Morgana said, and Merlin sighed as Arthur manhandled him into it. With a few spells from Morgana, it fit him almost perfectly. According to her, it “added subtle width to your shoulders and flattered your waist” and Merlin felt like a doll being used and abused as Morgana continued looking through Arthur’s old clothes to spell good-as-new for Merlin.
“I don’t need this many clothes, I got by just fine with-”
“You were a servant, then, Merlin,” Morgana said. “You’re a prince, now, you-”
“I am not a prince,” Merlin snapped at her.
Unsurprisingly, she wasn’t even taken aback by it, instead saying, “Well you will be at least until you figure all this out. There are people who are already calling you and Arthur ‘the princes’.”
Merlin moaned and turned to press his face into Arthur’s shoulder, wondering how his mother had fared trying on Morgana’s old clothes yesterday. He didn’t want to be a prince, he wanted to be Arthur’s, and he couldn’t be if he was too busy ruling his own kingdom far away.
“Cheer up, Merlin,” Arthur said in a way that told Merlin just how hypocritical the order was. “We’ll still see each other often. From here to Carmarthen is not a week’s ride-”
“I don’t want to have to ride to see you,” Merlin murmured.
“Neither do I,” Arthur said. “But it’s better than nothing. This is better than you being run out of the kingdom for being magic, or escaping to the Druids, or any other number of things. Merlin - I don’t like this, but if something has to change somehow, I’m glad it’s this way. You can come back, I can go see you, and one day we’ll be together again, anyway.”
Merlin nodded slightly. He didn’t care what Arthur said, he wasn’t a prince, and he was going to come back. Camelot was his home.
~*~
Arthur went down just a little early to make sure all the supplies for Merlin and Hunith were absolutely perfect, to make sure everything was ready for Merlin once he finished packing (and perhaps crying) upstairs.
It was either practically run down here, letting the energy burn out through his legs, or kidnap Merlin and go somewhere far away with just the two of them, and he had to be the strong one for Merlin, just this once.
He reached the courtyard just in time to hear King Roderick demand, “What is the meaning of giving that horse to my great-nephew?!” he snapped in indignant anger at Uther. Arthur frowned until he saw Tempest, playing around with the stableboys as usual by being difficult and pulling her lead from their hands and refusing to stand still long enough to get a saddle on.
“I’m not giving him that horse, it’s already his,” Uther said stiffly.
“Uncle, please, he speaks true,” Hunith said. For most of the time Arthur had known her, she spoke like Merlin or Gwen or any other regular old commoner, but in the last week she’s sounded more and more like the princess - and perhaps even queen - that she was every time he heard her - and wearing an old but still lavish cream-and-blue dress of Morgana’s, she truly looked like it, too. “Merlin won that horse in a bet. She’s his.”
“She can be managed,” Arthur offered. “Once you know how.” Then he whistled, in that odd tone Merlin created that got Tempest to stop her playful fidgeting, and instead had her trotting over to where they stood in front of the stairs as if she’d been trained and tamed since birth.
Roderick’s eyebrows rose as Arthur patted her neck before taking her lead and giving another slight whistle and leading her over to where the stableboys were shaking their heads wryly as they started saddling her up.
He stayed with Tempest, trying to be a reassuring presence for her, until Merlin was there as well, eyes clear (he hasn’t been crying), but mouth set in a stony, grim line, as he fiddled with the clasp of his cloak, the bright velvet red one Arthur still loved seeing him in, and which would keep him warm during his ride to Dyfed.
“I don’t want to go,” he muttered again, as they stood close, side-by-side, next to Merlin’s mare, Merlin resting one hand on her shoulder and the other on Arthur’s. “I love you too much. I can’t handle it - I don’t want to go.”
“And I don’t want you to go,” Arthur admitted. Then, not caring that all of Camelot and the Dyfed delegation were watching, he leaned over and pressed his lips to Merlin’s in a chaste but heartfelt kiss, gaining one last memory, one last imprint, of Merlin on his lips, smiling as they pulled away, in spite of the simmering shock and underlying distaste coming from the noblemen in the vicinity.
“I love you, that won’t ever change - and that will keep us strong,” he said, finally, as everyone began mounting their horses.
Merlin nodded, before wrapping his arms around Arthur, and Arthur embraced him, kissing him one last time before standing back as Merlin mounted Tempest.
He patted Merlin’s thigh and said, “Ride safe, Merlin.”
“Thank you,” Merlin said, voice hoarse and a little broken, before nudging Tempest forward after his mother and great-uncle at the head of the line behind only a few protective guards.
Arthur sighed, watching as the delegation rode out of the courtyard.
Merlin turned back in his saddle one last time, eyes seeking out Arthur, and Arthur waved, flashing him what he hoped was an encouraging smile.
Merlin smiled sadly and waved back, before turning and facing forward in time to clear the gates and vanish from Arthur’s sight all together.
The moment he did, Arthur didn’t wait, and didn’t care what anyone saw or said of his behavior - he turned and ran, ran through the ever familiar labyrinth that was the halls of his home, up and up and up, through the corridors and over the ramparts, until he was on the wall surrounding the citadel, watching as Merlin and the entourage just left the outer rings of the city, smiling at familiar sight tugging at his heart, messy black hair and red velvet cloak flowing down his back and draping over Tempest, making them stand out amidst the much cooler colors of the rest of the delegation.
Merlin turned his head back, looking at Camelot one last time, and as his face moved, eyes tracing up the walls, Arthur raised his hand and waved once more.
Merlin caught sight of him, and even from this distance Arthur could spot that smile anywhere. He kept doing this, looking over his shoulder again and again at Camelot, until they were over the hills and far out of sight of Camelot.
~*~
“He won’t be gone forever, you know,” Morgana said quietly, her arms around a sad Gwen that night as Arthur lay in his bed, staring up at the canopy, after bidding Merlin goodnight in the little enchanted mirror. “Not even for a long while. One way or another, you will be king of all Albion and he will be by your side.”
“I don’t want him by my side when I’m king,” Arthur said. “I want him with me now.”
Morgana just sighed, and took Gwen and left, leaving Arthur to grieve in his chambers, finally let all his sadness escape and cry into his pillow that was not Merlin, and finally let himself feel all the vulnerability that’s been lurking in his heart from the moment he learned Merlin was a prince, a prince of another kingdom far away. He may have done so many times before, let himself fall forth and fall open as he let his heart take over his mind, body, and soul - but this time, there was no one there to catch him, no Merlin there to wrap around and be anchored by.
He spent the night grieving, because even if he had kept up a strong face, inside, he wanted nothing more than for Merlin to be right here, in his arms, warm and pliant and his.
~*~
Leagues away, Merlin was wrapped in his cloak from Arthur, laying on a bedroll inside a lavish, royal tent, and without realizing he was doing the same as Arthur, Merlin also cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he were home with Arthur.
~*~
Master Post
A/N: …this was originally supposed to be a much less angsty chapter ending. o.O Also, I really do like Hunith! :)
Remember, comments are ♥!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Thanks to his magic, Merlin always knew he had a weird heritage that his mother did not liking talking about. What he didn't expect was to find out she was a princess of the kingdom of Dyfed - making him heir to the throne. This changed...everything.
Word Count: 7200
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin, Gwen/Morgana
Warnings: mentions of violence, swearing, mentions of sex
Episode warnings: Post-S1 AU, but draws heavily on elements of S2 and S3
Beta: arithilim
Notes: Well, I couldn't update my X-Men AU, but this one was sitting in my hard-drive for quite a while, so I finished it and got the lovely arithilim to beta it, and now it's here for you guys!
~*~
<< Previous Chapter
Master Post
I’m the Lost Princess of Dyfed.
Merlin stared at her, before looking around himself at all the others.
King Roderick was staring back at Merlin in shock, before turning to Mother. “Your…your son?”
King Roderick - he’s my uncle.
She nodded. “He…he was ill at birth, but he lived.”
Rhodri was my father.
Merlin shook his head. “No, no, this- I can’t be awake, this is all so mad-”
“Merlin.”
He looked to see Mother staring back at him. Her voice was thick and there were tear tracks down her face.
“He-they…” she stopped, then started again. “I’m sorry, Merlin - it’s the truth.”
“You still haven’t explained,” Lord Haul said, voice carefully neutral, though bordering on anger.
“She will,” King Roderick said coldly to the lord, before turning back to Mother.
Merlin was still crouched before her, and he looked into her eyes, wondering if she saw his confusion as easily as he could see her fear.
“Can - this is…” Merlin stared at her. “This doesn’t make sense.”
She nodded, swallowing down some tears.
“It’s a long story,” she said.
“Tell us, anyway,” Lord Dion demanded.
Mother shut her eyes for a moment, before she started speaking.
“I - everyone knows some form of the story…there was a man I…I fell in love with - at the time, we held a private handfasting, so Merlin would not be born a bastard child. There was supposed to be a public announcement and a public wedding and everything - but then civil war broke out.”
She opened her eyes to face them all, before looking down at Merlin imploringly.
Merlin just stared back. He wanted answers. Now.
“We hid, Merlin and I, and his father had gone into hiding long before, at Merlin’s birth…Merlin was born so ill, we all thought he was going to die, and his father could not bear it and ran. We never heard from him again…as far as we knew, he died. King Rhodri…Father…fell ill. The capital was being overrun. Everything was - my father eventually realized the kingdom was going to splinter and break, anyway, and decided that Merlin and I should go into hiding until at least things were less dangerous…we waited, for years….Father died, and everything I heard about Dyfed was so - it was safer for us to remain hidden…so we did. I never told Merlin the truth, or anyone else…the only one who knows is Gaius - he helped me flee in the first place.”
Gaius knew?!
And he still was stuck back at Mother was a princess.
“Wait.”
Merlin turned to see Arthur walking slowly towards them.
“So - you’re Princess Hunith - King Rhodri’s daughter…” she nodded.
“Then,” Uther began, then shook his head. “Then you’re the heir to the throne, then?”
There was a moment of tense silence before she slowly nodded.
Heir to the throne.
His mother was the heir to a throne.
Shouting erupted around the room, mostly from the nobles of the Dyfed delegation, though some from Camelot chipped in as well.
But Merlin didn’t care about them.
She lied to him.
She knew who his father was. Where they came from. Where Merlin came from, and his magic.
She never told him anything.
“You lied to me,” he accused. Because it was either that or she was a princess and both were equally impossible and- and-
“Merlin-”
“You lied to me!” he shouted.
Merlin distantly realized it was quiet in the council room, everyone staring at him.
She was crying again.
“Merlin, I’m sorry.”
Merlin just stared again, growing numb. She knew, Gaius knew - who else knew? What else was a lie?
“I think,” he heard Uther say behind them. “That some family matters need to be settled before we address matters of state.”
“If you think for one moment you can order us out,” Lord Haul started, prompting Merlin to turn to and face them, looking to see what he was saying.
“I am ordering you out,” Roderick said sternly. “I need to speak to my niece.”
For a moment, it would look like they would protest more, when Arthur and Uther both turned their most menacing glares on them all.
Merlin knew enough of Dyfed’s politics to know they were not used to listening to a king, and were even perfectly accustomed to ignoring Roderick’s whims. But even they knew better than to anger Arthur and Uther when they had those expressions on their faces - especially with Arthur’s hand resting oh-so-comfortably on the pommel of his sword.
Merlin turned back to face his mother as the nobles all filed out of the room.
Soon, it was just Uther, Arthur, Roderick, Mother, and him.
He got up and backed away from her, turning away for a moment to look at the others, before turning back to face her.
“You lied to me,” Merlin repeated in the silence. Because that was all there was to it.
“I had to!” she said.
“You didn’t have to lie to me!”
“What would you have done if I’d told you the truth?”
“Who is my father?”
That seemed to throw her for a loop.
“Merlin…?”
“Who. Is. My. Father?” he demanded. “I had to spend a better part of my youth being called a bastard child and the son of a whore-”
“-what?!” Roderick shouted in protective, almost paternal, fury.
“-because I didn’t have a father,” Merlin said, ignoring him. “So the least you can do is tell me who he is!”
She looked hesitantly at Uther of all people, before saying softly, “His name…his name is Balinor.”
“The Dragonlord?”
Merlin turned to Uther, surprised.
“You…you knew him?” he asked, desperately.
Balinor. It was just a name, but that name was his father.
He had a father!
“He was a Dragonlord,” Uther slowly, almost accusingly towards Mother. “He used to serve me.”
“Used to?” Arthur asked.
“…what the Dragonlords did to tame dragons…I’ve been told was not magic…but what I saw was far too close to magic for me to risk it. Once the last dragon was killed save the one beneath our castle, I had all the Dragonlords banished from Camelot.”
Mother nodded.
“Balinor had helped us with problematic dragons before,” she said. “We were happy to take him in. “And…he would have been a good consort for me. At the time, we thought it would have a stabilizing affect - I would not be showing favor to any one cantref or nobleman, but a hero from another kingdom we had little relation to at the time, and we hoped that would quell some of the fears and rumors flying around that were fuelling the conflict…but obviously that’s not what happened.”
She looked back at her son. “Merlin?” She asked, in a tone asking him to just say something, voice tense and quivering with both concern and frustration.
How much of his life was he missing because of what she didn’t tell him?
“You knew who my father was?”
Her jaw tensed and her eyes grew firm.
“I had no choice,” she said. “I’m sorry, but it was the only thing I could do.”
“Like hell!”
“Merlin!” Arthur said as she winced at the harshness of his voice. Merlin didn’t care.
“You lied to me!”
“I had no choice!” she repeated.
She was abruptly standing, now, and right before Merlin.
“You know exactly what would have happened if I had told you, Merlin - you would never have been content with your life, never have been happy, and long ago you would have run off to Dyfed and gotten yourself killed doing something stupid and rash! What good would have it have done for me to tell you?”
“I deserved to know!” Merlin snapped. “It was my right to know!” he shouted. She’d had no right to keep this from him.
She and he both stood firm, until finally, Roderick stepped in and said, “Perhaps it is best to focus on the future instead of the past?” Merlin momentarily sympathized with Arthur’s frustration about his kindly old man trying to be king. “The matter can be settled once we were all back in Dyfed-”
“In Dyfed?!” Merlin whirled around to face the foreign king. “Who said anything about going to Dyfed?”
Roderick looked at Merlin, surprised at his confusion. “You must come back - now that you and your mother are known to be alive and well, you must return to Dyfed.”
“Why?” he demanded. “I can’t just leave Camelot…it’s my home! And I just- I can’t-”
“What did you expect?” Uther asked.
“Merlin.”
He turned again to face Arthur, who was looking at him with cautious misery. “Do you realize who and what you are?”
Merlin frowned. “What-” Your sorcerer. Your friend. Yours.
Arthur cut him off with a sigh.
“Your mother is the daughter of King Rhodri,” Arthur said slowly, like Merlin was some frightened animal. He certainly felt like one, right now. “That makes her heir to the throne…and you, as well. You have to go back with them because you are the Prince of Dyfed.”
Merlin froze.
You are the Prince of Dyfed.
That’s…the world was ending.
That had to be it - his blood was frozen, his breathing stopped, and none of this could be happening.
“But…I…I’m not- I’m just…Merlin…” he said, almost pleadingly. He wasn’t a prince. A servant, a sorcerer, any number of other things, but not a prince.
Arthur shook his head. “You never were ‘just Merlin’, Merlin…we just didn’t know it.”
He looked around helplessly at the others. Mother wasn’t looking at him, Uther was focusing on Roderick, Roderick was looking at him with a failed attempt at encouragement in his eyes, and Arthur - Arthur was looking at him in pain and apology.
“I…I can’t,” he said.
And then he ran.
~*~
“Merlin!” Hunith called. But she didn’t try to stop him, and neither did Arthur.
The doors burst open with the force of Merlin’s running - and probably with a little help from his magic. His dramatic exit was followed by the shouts of several surprised nobles outside as Merlin burst through them, before suddenly they were flooding back into the council chambers, demanding to know what was going on.
“What happened?” Geoffrey finally asked directly of the four at the head of the table after calming down the other nobles.
“…it was a bit of a shock for him, is all,” Arthur said. “To find out he is the Prince of Dyfed.”
Many of the Dyfed delegation’s faces darkened as they were also struck with the realization.
Arthur turned to Hunith. “Let me go deal with him.
“I…” she shook her head. “I think I need to return to my room for now.”
“I’ll bring him up once he’s calmed down,” Arthur promised, and turned to run out of the council chambers and after Merlin.
~*~
Rather predictably, Merlin was down in the hunting kennels, playing with the puppies.
Arthur stopped just short of the edge of the kennels, taking a few moments to just watch Merlin like this.
Nature always calmed Merlin, and that included animals. Arthur regularly found his impudent sorcerer down here, playing with the hunting pups, using the training methods of the houndmaster so the formidable man would turn a blind eye to Merlin’s presence.
Arthur let himself be enveloped in the sound of Merlin’s laughter, reveling in the sight of Merlin’s smiles, the dopey grin he always had on his face when playing with animals. As Merlin threw the blood-scented balls around and half the puppies chased after him, the other half were curled around him in little sleeping balls of fur, cuddled up to the warmth of Merlin’s back and legs. In his lap, he had two or three yipping puppies, petting them as he watched the rest run around excitedly in kennel.
Eventually, though, he had to break the moment.
“If they end up too soft to hunt,” Arthur called out. “I’m blaming you.”
Merlin didn’t stop smiling, but much of the joy left his eyes when he looked at Arthur.
“You can’t hide in here forever,” Arthur said.
“Why not?” Merlin asked, but obligingly handed the ball back to the houndmaster and stood up, dislodging the sleeping pups around him. They all whined, and Merlin probably would have stayed back if Arthur hadn’t pulled him away.
“She lied to me,” Merlin finally said as they walked away.
“Merlin-”
“My whole life!” he cried out. “It’s - how could she have lied to me about who we are for my whole life?!”
“You can’t blame her-”
“Yes I can!” Merlin shouted, whirling around to face Arthur. “You don’t know what it’s like-”
“You’re right, Merlin,” Arthur snapped, grabbed onto Merlin’s shoulders to hold him still. “I have no idea what it’s like to know the person you love and trust the most in this world has lied to you the entire time you’ve known them.”
There was silence.
“…that was different,” Merlin muttered petulantly. “If I’d told you, you would’ve killed me.”
“And your life could have been made much, much worse if you had been told of all this before now…” Arthur winced and realized it might be best to tell Merlin his expectations right now. “It probably will be now that you do know.”
Merlin was still trembling beneath his hands, so he directed Merlin towards the stables for now instead of taking him straight to Gaius’s chambers.
Horses worked just as well as puppies when it came to Merlin.
Once there, Merlin immediately went to Tempest’s stall and buried his face in her shoulder, wrapping one arm gently around her neck with the other one over her shoulders as she neighed softly in support, for once holding still, as if sensing what Merlin needed.
Arthur laid a broad hand on Merlin’s back, gently rubbing up and down, before giving up and wrapping his arms around Merlin’s waist and chest.
He didn’t want to lose Merlin. But…
“What am I supposed to do, Arthur?”
…Morgana had said that even if they were separated, they would still be bonded together.
He rested his cheek against Merlin’s neck.
“It’ll be okay,” he said quietly.
“How?” Merlin demanded, with a voice that made Arthur realize abruptly that Merlin was crying.
He kissed Merlin’s neck, before saying, “Do you remember what Morgana said?”
“Oh, gods, her vision!” Merlin cried out, shuddering in Arthur’s arms. “I- we-”
“Merlin,” he said, squeezing Merlin to get his attention. “Even if we’re apart, we’ll still be together. We all knew that there was a good chance that one day, you would have had to leave, anyway, if Father had found out about you and Morgana.” He shut his eyes, pressing the front of his head against the back of Merlin’s as he pulled Merlin closer so they were pressed flush together. “At least you aren’t being run out of the kingdom, and you don’t have to wait until my father dies to be allowed back in.”
“But-”
“I have to hang onto that, Merlin,” Arthur said quietly. “We both do.”
He felt Merlin sigh against him. “I…I guess…”
Merlin finally turned around so he could hug Arthur, and for a while, they just stood there, living in each other’s embrace, drawing their existence from each other.
Arthur wondered if he could live without this.
There were footsteps outside, and the moment was broken.
Arthur drew back, and put a reassuring hand on Merlin’s back between his shoulders.
“I’ll stay with you,” Arthur promised. “But we really need to go see your mother.”
“Thanks,” Merlin said, tone dejected and resigned. He took a deep breath, and stepped out of the stable, Arthur beside him and guiding him along.
Outside were the usual collection of stable boys, gossiping furiously among each other. They all fell silent, though, when they saw Merlin.
Arthur’s stomach sank.
“Is it true, mate?” one of them asked Merlin. “Your mother’s the Lost Princess of Dyfed?”
Merlin was frozen, tense and staring in shock, and Arthur took over, saying for him, “Yes, it’s true.”
The boys gawped, and Arthur pushed Merlin forward.
Over and over again, they were stopped and everyone asked is it true, Merlin, is your mother the Lost Princess, Merlin, are you the heir of Dyfed, Merlin…?
Merlin grew more and more tense under Arthur’s hand, to the point that Merlin was trembling again as they neared the tower in which Gaius’s chambers resided.
Needing to do something about it, Arthur pulled him into an alcove, and before Merlin could react, kissed him.
Arthur normally let Merlin take the lead when it was just the two of them being intimate. But right now, Arthur pressed his lips forcefully against Merlin’s, until Merlin was melted pliantly beneath him as he wrapped his arms around his trembling love. It ended with Merlin desperately mouthing at Arthur’s neck, sniffing as if about to cry again.
“It’s not going to be okay,” Merlin whispered.
“Yes it will,” Arthur said.
“You can’t promise that.”
“Yes I can,” Arthur said, leaning up to kiss Merlin’s forehead. “I just did. You should have heard it, with ears as big as yours.”
Merlin laughed, a choked but genuine sound, and Arthur smiled victoriously.
He nipped at Merlin’s ears one last time, just because they were irresistible like that, then pulled him out of the alcove and back towards Gaius’s chambers - and to face Merlin’s mother.
Except when they got there, two guards have been stationed outside the door in addition to the standard corridor guards, and inside, Gaius was serving tea to both Hunith and King Roderick.
Their heads snapped up when the door opened, and Merlin froze in the doorway as he stared at Hunith and the king.
Sighing, Arthur gently pushed Merlin fully inside and shut the door behind them.
“King Roderick,” Arthur greeted carefully.
“Prince Arthur.”
“Merlin, Arthur,” Gaius said, gesturing to the bench opposite from where Hunith and Roderick sat. “Please, sit. Hunith has been filling in King Roderick on the aspects of the truth that the rest of the Court could not be subject to.”
“I was just telling him,” Hunith said quietly. “About Merlin’s birth as a cambion.”
Roderick shot a sharp look towards Arthur, but Arthur just smiled back benignly. “Don’t worry - I don’t share all my father’s convictions.” Let the man see for himself that Arthur wasn’t his father.
Roderick slowly nodded and turned his attentions back to Hunith, as Gaius set about meddling with his potions and something that might have been tea.
“Balinor and I - we were friends, good friends. We were close, maybe bordering on love…I don’t know if we were ever there. But we had a ‘night of passion’, certainly - because he was possessed by an incubus, and I was enchanted therein…though to be fair, with me and Balinor, it didn’t take much. The rest of the story is much the same - he would have made a good and potentially stabilizing consort for me…then, of course, everything changed.”
“I had known,” Roderick said, addressing a sullen and silent Merlin, who was currently refusing to look up from his lap. “That you were born a cambion. But when I heard you were born without breath or heartbeat, I had thought my brother was exaggerating.”
“He wasn’t,” Hunith said. “Merlin was perfectly alive and healthy, and his blood was moving…just without a heartbeat, or air.” She smiled apologetically at Merlin. “I’ve told you this part, somewhat.” She looked back at Roderick. “I’m afraid he didn’t get much sleep those first few days - when he was asleep, he looked so dead, we kept waking him up just to make sure he was still alive.”
Arthur felt Merlin flinch, slightly, against him, and under the table he grabbed Merlin’s hand, trying desperately not to imagine what it would be like if Merlin was still like that. He had enough nightmares as it was about Merlin dying at his father’s hand - having to deal with a Merlin that had no breath or heartbeat would have been hell on top of all that. Half the time, getting his hands on a living, breathing Merlin was the only thing that calmed him down after waking from his nightmares.
(What was he supposed to do after his nightmares if Merlin was in another kingdom far away?)
“And Merlin…” Hunith looked between her son and her uncle. She looked at Arthur, speculating, and with a start, Arthur realized what she wanted. She had that specific fear they both shared about Merlin, rare and yet constant about them as they took care of Merlin between them. But if Merlin was going back to Dyfed, to rule, and Roderick already know so much else, anyway…
…only slightly, so only Hunith would clearly see, he nodded his support.
Hunith looked to Merlin. “Show him,” the depth of her voice promising that there was only one thing she could be talking about.
Merlin tensed, before he stared, slack-jawed, at his mother.
“Mother, you can’t be serious-”
“Show him, Merlin,” she repeated firmly.
“Show me what?” Roderick demanded.
Merlin sighed, and gripped tightly at Arthur’s hand again, squeezing nearly to the point of breaking bone, before he started muttering the ancient words under his breath.
Now Roderick’s jaw dropped as Merlin’s eyes glowed gold, and the door behind them locked and every candle in the room was burning.
“Merlin,” Gaius reprimanded. “Don’t waste the spare candles.”
Another murmured word, another flash of Merlin’s golden eyes, and almost all those candles were extinguished again.
Once the king recovered himself, the first thing he did was look at Arthur, but Arthur just raised his eyebrow, ostensibly to convey see, I told you I’m not my father, but mostly to say, he’s mine, and look at what he can do.
“Well…” Roderick said. He paused, then chuckled. “Blue and gold - your eyes flash between the colors of your kingdom.”
Merlin gasped, and abruptly turned away.
“Camelot is my home,” he repeated.
Arthur shut his eyes. He wanted his kingdom to be Merlin’s home, he wanted so, so badly to keep Merlin at his side forever, tucked away in his bed where he could keep Merlin warm and safe and protected away from the rest of the world.
But he also knew that would never happen.
Maybe the next best thing would be for him and Merlin to one day be kings together.
That thought was definitely something worth hanging on to.
~*~
Merlin slowly woke up, cocooned in the warmth of the royal bedding, to the usual feeling of Arthur’s chest beneath his head, and Arthur’s limbs wrapped possessively around Merlin’s. Slow, peaceful, calm, and before Arthur - this was his favorite way to wake up. So why was he feelings like there was something wrong with him, with today?
He stretched out his sleep-addled limbs, curling around Arthur, poking his head out from the warm and comfy bedding to look around the room, wondering what he forgot. Well, dinner leftovers were still sitting on the table, their clothes were scattered around the bed like usual, and at the foot of the bed he spied his neckerchief, the one from his mother…
…which had come from her father, the King of Dyfed.
And it all came rushing back.
Gasping, he shook as he remembered his world being turned inside-out and upside down, and beside him, he felt Arthur wake up, and then felt strong arms wrap around him and pull him close to a warm, firm chest.
“Shh,” Arthur hushed gently, petting Merlin’s shoulder as he tugged Merlin close, and Merlin leaned into the touch, trying not to think of the months ahead he might have to go without this.
“I don’t want to go,” Merlin said, crying, his voice thick with tears.
“And I don’t want you to go,” Arthur said. “But you have to.”
“How long do you think I will have to spend there before I can come back?”
Arthur didn’t respond.
Merlin frowned.
“Arthur?”
Arthur sighed. “If…Merlin, if you are the Prince - those people, they are suffering so much. And you can fix that.”
But to fix that he would need to-
Oh, no.
“Arthur,” Merlin said, silently pleading that Arthur was saying something different, something not what Merlin thought he was saying. “What are you saying?”
Arthur sighed, pulling back a little to look into Merlin’s eyes apologetically.
“I’m saying, Merlin, that…that if you are the Prince - you should accept it. And that if you accept it…you won’t be coming back.”
“NO!” Merlin shouted, pressing forward and burying himself in Arthur again. “No, no, no, no no no nononono-”
“Merlin-”
“No!”
Arthur just gave another morose sigh and pulled him close again.
~*~
Merlin took a deep breath at the door to the kitchens, before slipping in, trying to go unnoticed.
It didn’t work.
“Hey, Mary,” Merlin said as he bumped into the breadkneader. “Sorry about that.”
“Oh, it’s all right,” she said, looking up. “It’s o- Merlin!” Then she paused. “Or…’sire’?”
“No!” Merlin cried out. That really put his ‘don’t be noticed’ plan to hell as most of the servants nearby looked at him, which caused everyone else to in a wave of turning heads. “I don’t care what my mother or Prince Arthur or anyone else says - I’m not a prince.”
“Er…okay…um…right, well…” she seemed unsure of how to react to Merlin’s vehemence, and Merlin stormed off towards where Mabyn prepared trays for servants to take to their masters.
“Can I just have Prince Arthur’s breakfast, please?” he pleaded.
Thankfully, she treated him the same way she always did - with a look of exasperation on her face, she prepared enough food for two people, as she knew Merlin ate with Arthur, and not-so-gently reminded Merlin, “Don’t you dare be spilling this!” as she handed it to him, and if Merlin was a little more grateful to her than he usually bothered to be, she didn’t comment, and on his way out, neither did anyone else.
~*~
“You said Arthur was my destiny,” Merlin shouted up into the black cavern. “How can I serve him if I’m stuck ruling another kingdom?!”
The Dragon laughed as he landed before Merlin, before craning his neck down so his face was right in front of the frustrated sorcerer.
“I only ever said your destiny was to be beside him,” the stupid, useless, completely incomprehensible overgrown lizard said. “That cannot be if you are below him.”
“It can’t be if I’m not here, either!” Merlin snapped.
“Until now, it has been the Prince learning how to be the Once and Future King and learning how to lead. Now, it is your turn.”
“What does that even mean?” Merlin said.
“Distance has no meaning to two souls bound by the bonds of destiny. Two sides of the same coin are still of the same coin, even if they are separated across the world.”
“That doesn’t make sense!” Merlin protested.
The Dragon just laughed again.
“All in good time, young warlock. Different kingdoms will have little meaning in a united Albion. Until then, you two princes must help each other become kings.”
“But I don’t want to be a king!”
“Destiny has little care for the desires of the heart, young warlock - even the gods have little say over such matters.”
“What-”
“It will be some time before I see you again,” the Dragon said. “And I doubt our next meeting will be under such…auspicious conditions as they have been. So until then, young warlock, fare thee well.”
“What do you-”
But the Dragon was already taking off, and with a few flaps of his wings, he was gone.
“…stupid overgrown lizard,” Merlin muttered.
“I heard that!” roared an amused voice from the darkness.
“Good!” Merlin shouted back, before stomping out of the cavern all together.
~*~
The Dyfed delegation had originally intended to stay another ten days, but with the shocking revelation of Hunith, they were leaving three days early. That gave Arthur one more week with Merlin.
As Hunith talked and talked and talked with other noblemen from Dyfed about arrangements once she returned, Arthur shut himself and Merlin away from it all, holed up in his chambers or out wandering in the forest, sometimes not even bothering with the excuse of hunting to leave the castle and city limits.
“Merlin,” Arthur said as they spent a night out under the stars, before Merlin went away. Arthur knew they shouldn’t be doing this, they should be working with the Dyfed delegation. But…
…he and Merlin were each other’s souls, loves, lives and destinies. To have to bear the thought of being separated from him - it was horrifying to think of.
“The overgrown lizard says it’s been you learning how to lead Albion, and now it’s supposed to be my turn or some such bollocks,” Merlin mumbled when they shared their bedroll that night, wrapped around each other in the chilling autumn evening.
“…if Albion is going to be united, one day, then living in two different kingdoms won’t matter,” Arthur said. He paused, then added, “Besides, now that you’re royalty, maybe I can marry you!”
Arthur smiled at the laugh that bubbled reluctantly out of Merlin. “I don’t - you need heirs, Arthur.”
“We both would,” Arthur said. “Didn’t you say there were magical means around this? Besides, I’m sure we can make other arrangements. We’ll be kings, one day!”
He felt Merlin tense up in his arms. “Oh, gods, Arthur, I’m not going to be a king! I’ll…I’ll sort everything out and come back and-”
“Merlin,” Arthur said, scooting down in the bedroll so he and Merlin were facing each other directly. “You’re - you’re the prince. Heir to the throne. That’s - you have a responsibility to help your people - because that’s exactly what the people of Dyfed are: yours.”
“But I…” Merlin pressed his face against Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur wrapped his hand around the back of Merlin’s neck protectively.
“I…I love your mother, Merlin, I truly do - she brought you into the world, so I can’t feel anything for her otherwise. But respect can vary - and I’m sorry, Merlin, but she abandoned her people.” He pulled back a little to cup Merlin’s face in his hands, the flames playing with the shadows across his ethereal features. “You, Merlin - you care about people. You can be better than your legacy so far, your grandfather who let the kingdom fall apart after bringing it together, your great-uncle letting it rot from the inside out, and your mother abandoning it.”
He felt Merlin trembling against his hands, and leaned in to kiss Merlin, pressing his own lips to Merlin’s soft and sad ones, desperate and clinging, the two trying to melt into each other until they were just one whole instead of two halves of one.
“I’m just a servant,” Merlin insisted quietly.
“No, Merlin, you’re not - you’re a sorcerer, a lover, a prince, and a good, good man. You could be exactly what Dyfed needs,” Arthur said, resting his forehead against Merlin’s. “We both said Dyfed needs a lot of help. Maybe what it needs is your mother back - and one day, to have you as king.”
“…I don’t want to leave you.” And that was the crux of the problem.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Arthur said. “But this world is bigger than us both.”
That night, Arthur held Merlin as they lay awake till dawn.
~*~
“…enchanted mirrors, Morgana?” Arthur asked. “Really?”
“What?” she demanded. “They work.”
Merlin looked down between the two hand-mirrors in his hands. Enchanted so their owners could talk to each other through them over vast, vast distances. A few simple spells to activate and control them, without taking excessive energy from the person holding them.
“Come on, I need your blood for the last bit,” she said, taking her mirrors and setting them down on the table, murmuring ancient words until the gems inlaid around this vain gifts from other kings started glowing, particularly bright being matching rubies at the cross-section of the handle and the mirrors’ frames.
With a little prick of their fingers, Merlin and Arthur both dropped a single a drop of blood on each gem, which glowed before absorbing the blood.
“There,” she said. “Now so long as you are near the mirror - basically within the castle if you’re keeping it in your room - you’ll feel it in you if the other one tries to contact you. The glass will fog up when they try, and if it’s safe you just have to blow on it a bit in order to talk to each other.”
Merlin smiled at her gratefully. “Thank you. You…this is…thank you.”
Morgana smiled sadly. “I’m going to miss you, Merlin.”
“We all will,” Gwen added, holding Merlin’s hand in her own.
Merlin nodded tiredly, looking down at the mirrors as he leaned into Arthur’s strong frame.
He was going to need all the strength he could get.
~*~
They were clawing at each other almost desperately as they fell back onto Arthur’s bed - but Merlin was leaving for another kingdom tomorrow, he had every right to be desperate.
He desperately didn’t want to leave.
“Merlin,” Arthur panted, pressing hot, hot lips to Merlin’s, pulling back to watch in delight as Merlin spelled their clothes off. “Merlin, my Merlin.”
Merlin pulled Arthur close to him and mumbled mine into the flesh of his shoulder.
They didn’t let go of each other after that, holding on to each other as Arthur rode Merlin, not even using oil as he tried desperately to imprint Merlin inside him, or when he moved inside Merlin, Merlin desperately trying to keep Arthur in him forever.
That night, as the moon just started to fall, they fell asleep clutching onto each other for dear life, letting their trembling bodies do all the talking.
~*~
Merlin stared morosely at his appearance in the mirror as Gwen and Morgana flitted around Arthur’s room, shifting through his old clothes, Arthur standing behind Merlin.
“I don’t need these,” Merlin said.
“This is for Camelot’s sake, Merlin,” Arthur said. “It would reflect poorly on us to let you leave as the servant you were assumed to be rather than the Prince you are.”
“But I’m not a prince,” Merlin said, leaning into Arthur’s embrace as Arthur wound his arms around Merlin’s waist and rested his chin on Merlin’s shoulder, looking into the mirror as well.
“You are now,” he murmured, kissing Merlin’s ear and smiling at the mirror. “You look brilliant.”
“I look ridiculous,” Merlin said, staring once again at the tight black breeches and soft blue tunic with the wide green belt at his hips. “Really ridiculous - I look like I’m dressed like you.”
“That would because you’re wearing his old clothes, Merlin,” Morgana said, holding up another jacket of Arthur’s and eying it critically as Gwen wiped some tears away from her eyes and folded some more of the clothes Arthur was giving up into the bag for Merlin.
Merlin took one look at the rich, brown jacket with its light-tan embroidery and snapped, “I don’t need that! I’ll look horrible!”
“Nonsense, Merlin, it will look brilliant with that tunic,” Morgana said, and Merlin sighed as Arthur manhandled him into it. With a few spells from Morgana, it fit him almost perfectly. According to her, it “added subtle width to your shoulders and flattered your waist” and Merlin felt like a doll being used and abused as Morgana continued looking through Arthur’s old clothes to spell good-as-new for Merlin.
“I don’t need this many clothes, I got by just fine with-”
“You were a servant, then, Merlin,” Morgana said. “You’re a prince, now, you-”
“I am not a prince,” Merlin snapped at her.
Unsurprisingly, she wasn’t even taken aback by it, instead saying, “Well you will be at least until you figure all this out. There are people who are already calling you and Arthur ‘the princes’.”
Merlin moaned and turned to press his face into Arthur’s shoulder, wondering how his mother had fared trying on Morgana’s old clothes yesterday. He didn’t want to be a prince, he wanted to be Arthur’s, and he couldn’t be if he was too busy ruling his own kingdom far away.
“Cheer up, Merlin,” Arthur said in a way that told Merlin just how hypocritical the order was. “We’ll still see each other often. From here to Carmarthen is not a week’s ride-”
“I don’t want to have to ride to see you,” Merlin murmured.
“Neither do I,” Arthur said. “But it’s better than nothing. This is better than you being run out of the kingdom for being magic, or escaping to the Druids, or any other number of things. Merlin - I don’t like this, but if something has to change somehow, I’m glad it’s this way. You can come back, I can go see you, and one day we’ll be together again, anyway.”
Merlin nodded slightly. He didn’t care what Arthur said, he wasn’t a prince, and he was going to come back. Camelot was his home.
~*~
Arthur went down just a little early to make sure all the supplies for Merlin and Hunith were absolutely perfect, to make sure everything was ready for Merlin once he finished packing (and perhaps crying) upstairs.
It was either practically run down here, letting the energy burn out through his legs, or kidnap Merlin and go somewhere far away with just the two of them, and he had to be the strong one for Merlin, just this once.
He reached the courtyard just in time to hear King Roderick demand, “What is the meaning of giving that horse to my great-nephew?!” he snapped in indignant anger at Uther. Arthur frowned until he saw Tempest, playing around with the stableboys as usual by being difficult and pulling her lead from their hands and refusing to stand still long enough to get a saddle on.
“I’m not giving him that horse, it’s already his,” Uther said stiffly.
“Uncle, please, he speaks true,” Hunith said. For most of the time Arthur had known her, she spoke like Merlin or Gwen or any other regular old commoner, but in the last week she’s sounded more and more like the princess - and perhaps even queen - that she was every time he heard her - and wearing an old but still lavish cream-and-blue dress of Morgana’s, she truly looked like it, too. “Merlin won that horse in a bet. She’s his.”
“She can be managed,” Arthur offered. “Once you know how.” Then he whistled, in that odd tone Merlin created that got Tempest to stop her playful fidgeting, and instead had her trotting over to where they stood in front of the stairs as if she’d been trained and tamed since birth.
Roderick’s eyebrows rose as Arthur patted her neck before taking her lead and giving another slight whistle and leading her over to where the stableboys were shaking their heads wryly as they started saddling her up.
He stayed with Tempest, trying to be a reassuring presence for her, until Merlin was there as well, eyes clear (he hasn’t been crying), but mouth set in a stony, grim line, as he fiddled with the clasp of his cloak, the bright velvet red one Arthur still loved seeing him in, and which would keep him warm during his ride to Dyfed.
“I don’t want to go,” he muttered again, as they stood close, side-by-side, next to Merlin’s mare, Merlin resting one hand on her shoulder and the other on Arthur’s. “I love you too much. I can’t handle it - I don’t want to go.”
“And I don’t want you to go,” Arthur admitted. Then, not caring that all of Camelot and the Dyfed delegation were watching, he leaned over and pressed his lips to Merlin’s in a chaste but heartfelt kiss, gaining one last memory, one last imprint, of Merlin on his lips, smiling as they pulled away, in spite of the simmering shock and underlying distaste coming from the noblemen in the vicinity.
“I love you, that won’t ever change - and that will keep us strong,” he said, finally, as everyone began mounting their horses.
Merlin nodded, before wrapping his arms around Arthur, and Arthur embraced him, kissing him one last time before standing back as Merlin mounted Tempest.
He patted Merlin’s thigh and said, “Ride safe, Merlin.”
“Thank you,” Merlin said, voice hoarse and a little broken, before nudging Tempest forward after his mother and great-uncle at the head of the line behind only a few protective guards.
Arthur sighed, watching as the delegation rode out of the courtyard.
Merlin turned back in his saddle one last time, eyes seeking out Arthur, and Arthur waved, flashing him what he hoped was an encouraging smile.
Merlin smiled sadly and waved back, before turning and facing forward in time to clear the gates and vanish from Arthur’s sight all together.
The moment he did, Arthur didn’t wait, and didn’t care what anyone saw or said of his behavior - he turned and ran, ran through the ever familiar labyrinth that was the halls of his home, up and up and up, through the corridors and over the ramparts, until he was on the wall surrounding the citadel, watching as Merlin and the entourage just left the outer rings of the city, smiling at familiar sight tugging at his heart, messy black hair and red velvet cloak flowing down his back and draping over Tempest, making them stand out amidst the much cooler colors of the rest of the delegation.
Merlin turned his head back, looking at Camelot one last time, and as his face moved, eyes tracing up the walls, Arthur raised his hand and waved once more.
Merlin caught sight of him, and even from this distance Arthur could spot that smile anywhere. He kept doing this, looking over his shoulder again and again at Camelot, until they were over the hills and far out of sight of Camelot.
~*~
“He won’t be gone forever, you know,” Morgana said quietly, her arms around a sad Gwen that night as Arthur lay in his bed, staring up at the canopy, after bidding Merlin goodnight in the little enchanted mirror. “Not even for a long while. One way or another, you will be king of all Albion and he will be by your side.”
“I don’t want him by my side when I’m king,” Arthur said. “I want him with me now.”
Morgana just sighed, and took Gwen and left, leaving Arthur to grieve in his chambers, finally let all his sadness escape and cry into his pillow that was not Merlin, and finally let himself feel all the vulnerability that’s been lurking in his heart from the moment he learned Merlin was a prince, a prince of another kingdom far away. He may have done so many times before, let himself fall forth and fall open as he let his heart take over his mind, body, and soul - but this time, there was no one there to catch him, no Merlin there to wrap around and be anchored by.
He spent the night grieving, because even if he had kept up a strong face, inside, he wanted nothing more than for Merlin to be right here, in his arms, warm and pliant and his.
~*~
Leagues away, Merlin was wrapped in his cloak from Arthur, laying on a bedroll inside a lavish, royal tent, and without realizing he was doing the same as Arthur, Merlin also cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he were home with Arthur.
~*~
Master Post
A/N: …this was originally supposed to be a much less angsty chapter ending. o.O Also, I really do like Hunith! :)
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