[TC10] Human Nature
Human Nature
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Donghae/Sungmin
Genre: AU!Drama/Romance
Summary: Donghae's worked hard to earn his spot amongst the elite, and like a beacon of light he stands proudly with them. Sungmin learns it's easier to to solicit his way in, and like a shadow he appears closely by and pulls against the fringes of success.
A/N: Apologies for all errors.
// Rain //
Her touch feels like the rain.
Cold, unrelenting, unwanted.
"Do you know I adore you?" She tells him, whispers adoringly as her fingers tangled themselves in his hair.
She kisses him on the cheek, the neck, and returns to kiss him fully on the mouth. Numbers appear in his shrewd thoughts, the number reaches higher as he counts with every action, gesture of her roaming hands and the responses she demands from him.
That late afternoon he dresses into his clothes as she smokes on the balcony, adjusting the cuffs of his collar when she returns inside. Reaching her long fingers inside her pulled top dress drawer. "A gift," she offers.
He opens it, and sees brandished gold cufflinks inside. "I want to see you wear them next time." She tells him.
"I will." He replies and earns a sultry smile in return.
He returns to the streets just as the sun begins to set, but his day hasn't yet ended. He reads the silent that appeared on his cell and reads it,
"Tonight, 7:15, at Jolgia Bar."
He didn't even have to change as he meets with the next.
Sungmin is not an official escort. His name is not owned by any business or person, nor is he signed to a contract. His name sells itself, known through these inclusive circles. And though it receives a bad connotation, his deemed deemed wicked ways earns him more attention than he expects. He barely has to lift a finger as they flock to his side, and waits patiently for the empty space beside him to fill.
Their fantasy is never-ending, his stops the moment he enters his building and takes the elevator to the top floors. And when the elevator opens, he's subtly startled at the guest by his door.
"Donghae," Sungmin notes.
Donghae says goodbye to the client on his cell and holds up a bag, greeting him as Sungmin opens his door.
Unlike the others Sungmin associates himself with, Donghae enters his apartment void of a single polluted thought.
“I think you may like the food.” Donghae sets the prepared lunch on his counter. Sungmin took off his blazer and dumps it over the dining room table and walks to his bathroom.
"I thought you were abroad for research."
"I was, there was not much there but I kept the notes, in case an opportunity presents itself. It seems that side is becoming a trend amongst many hotels, they've been inquiring about it."
"Aren't you always out and about," Sungmin comments. "How many more places can you possibly help after all is set and done?"
"It's in their nature to want the newest and the best, my job is never done." Donghae smiled, though his work is time-consuming and demanding, his friend never appears stressed. Donghae settled into a love seat, scanning around the spacious suite that accommodated only one tenant. He hears the sink turn on as Sungmin washes his face. "This is a nice place."
Sungmin switched off the water and dries his face, "it is, though I won't have it for long. That damn guy almost gave me an STD."
He mentions it so casually that it bothers some, and he mentions in passing as he strides to the kitchen. "A jealous friend of mine handled his tests and told me. He won't be interested in me for long if I refuse, and his treatment will be for a long while."
The good-natured man's lowers his gaze. "You're aware of the offer in case none of your other friends have panned out."
He reaches out for the cup of hot coffee that’s meant as thanks for the food. Though he's settled for the night, Sungmin drank it for more therapeutic reasons.
Donghae glances up at his friend who bemusedly declined his offer and boldly declares, "That won't ever be a problem."
Donghae's cell rings and he answers another concerned client. Sungmin checks on the bag his friend brings him.
With how cold the food is, Sungmin briefly wonders how long Donghae had been waiting.
-
"How dare you?!"
A drink was tossed into his face.
And everything was going so smoothly. Sungmin thinks disappointedly at the face of yet another confrontation as the shocked man beside him gasped.
"Can you accept breaking up a family? Tearing apart my marriage?!" She screeches.
He calmly dabs his face with the handkerchief on the table, "I can. I sleep rather well at night too before you ask."
The woman hurls more insults at him until she's pulled by her husband's restraining arms.
"When you're ready to see me again, call me." Sungmin says as he leaves the table, adding fuel to the fire as the wife screams at her petrified husband.
How weak, Sungmin thinks as he cleans himself, checking himself once over before he leaves the restaurant's bathroom.
"You handled yourself quite well."
Sungmin paused right before a small table that's set at the restaurant's lounge. Kibum taps his finger on his glass, "Although I wonder why you dealt with it at all."
"He's good pay." Sungmin explains simply. And at Kibum’s gestured hand, Sungmin promptly takes the offered seat across from him.
It's so matter of fact, Kibum should have realized it. "Of course. Is there not a person in your life who isn't reaped with good fortune? Have you ever opted for less?"
He gives a skeptic scoff, "What sort of future am I to have then?"
Kibum arched an eyebrow. "There are people who deem themselves thriving, those endowed with family, friendship, love claim to be."
Sungmin's devious smile plays onto his soft lips, and coolly states. "Money is the definitive measure of success."
Kibum gives a single nod, though he'd rather believe in the ideal of society, Sungmin's words hold a cold truth to them. He refills his own glass, he’d offer Sungmin but the man always declined a drink with him.
"If that’s all you’re after, then why not Donghae?” He poses. “Your good friend is reputable enough, his contracts earn covers more than half of those you've meet. He has many important friends and connections, more than he knows what to do with." Kibum tilts his head, eyes squinted in curiosity. "Why do you overlook the man who casts success with every project he comes across?"
Kibum gives it thought as he lifts his glass, "Then again, for a man whose life revolves around collecting data, studying and predicting every prospect. The risks may not be worth the benefits. To consider you, he'd-"
"He'd be a fool." Sungmin finishes for him, the corners of his lips shifted upwards.
Kibum chuckles. "Maybe if Donghae hears first hand the woes of a man who regrets loving you, he'll think first before accepting the idea."
Sungmin side-eyes the spurned man.
Kibum sets down his empty glass. "Isn't that more courtesy than he deserves? The idea of cautioning a man whose priority is over mine."
"You knew from the beginning," Sungmin reminds.
"And like others, I didn't heed your warning." Kibum sentiments. "How did you ever come to be friends with his sort? Was your mother his father's mistress?"
"We were next door neighbors." Sungmin clarified, not the least bit insulted by the other's insinuation. "Are you joining me tonight? A friend is having a party, she may have friends for you."
Kibum locks eyes with those callous ones, in sight of their former relationship, Sungmin always changed subjects before dwelling into his past. He smirks, "Why not? Maybe one of them know of a quick fix to a broken heart."
Kibum may have known his ex (a term he gave loosely) a little better than everyone else, but in reality that held very little.
-
Though Donghae's parents were not of wealth or high class, they speak of the future their son can give them, will give them with his quick study and personality. They see his well-mannered appearance yet firm mind, an asset that could take him places. They were right, and with their resources, begin to train him for that success.
Sungmin grew up in the same neighborhood, but his parents held little optimism for their future and didn't thrust their ideals or hopes onto their child whose around the same age, if there were ever any. He's given their charming looks, and though that holds little regard in the household, he observes his parents and realizes they can get just about anything through looks alone. They never teach their child, but he learns it best just the same.
Donghae attended the best school his parents struggled to afford, and walks a far distance for the bus stop in one direction. Sungmin attended the local ones and walks the opposite. Donghae returns home and studies most of the night, Sungmin often sits in his cooped up room in the often empty house.
Their homes are exact replicas, their rooms are just across from one another. Some nights, Donghae sometimes stood outside in his backyard, taking a deep breath as he tilts his head upward and clears his cluttered mind. Sungmin sat on the stone deck outside, chin on his propped elbow as his father brings a woman home upstairs.
"Hi,"
Sungmin blinks and peers through the thin gaps of the fence. He kneels down on the grass and tilts his head until he sees the boy on the opposite side through a chipped piece.
"Hi," Sungmin greets him back and Donghae beams.
The two are rather close with just an aged fence between them, and a friendship builds over time as they sit by it most evenings through that opening.
-
The skies begin to sprinkle outside but Sungmin pays little mind to it, he doesn't cower under covers as others do or run through. When Sungmin reaches the plaza a few minutes early, he sees Donghae taking shelter beneath the restaurant's umbrella, already waiting there with cell on hand.
Sungmin fixes his dyed bangs that plaster against his forehead. "Has something happened?" He asks, Donghae looks up and answers promptly without holding back anything.
"My boyfriend is flying in for his conference. He wants to spend the night together before he has to leave for the morning."
Sungmin purses his lips, "I see. You might have mentioned these plans so I didn't leave the night free."
"Leave it free." Donghae insists, though he’s tolerant of Sungmin’s lifestyle, he didn’t accept it.
"That's a night wasted." Sungmin utters. "Besides, we'll have tomorrow evening, won't we? We've been invited to the same party."
Donghae dislikes the idea, and reaches for his cell. Sungmin interrupts him before he can dial and change his plans. "Donghae, it's fine." He laughs lightly, "Sometimes I feel like you still see me as that jilted boy who didn't get invited to his best friend's birthday party."
The consultant pauses his hand on his cell, Sungmin chuckles at his actions.
"I can't see how you hold it over yourself when you had nothing to do with it," Sungmin adds. It wasn't something he could ever hold him against.
Donghae's parents controlled that list and every aspect of his life at that age, and before Donghae even asks his neighbor, he asks for their permission first. Sungmin remembers hearing from his bedroom window Donghae asking them, and their clear rejection of him right after.
The smile that appears on his face is deceptively sweet. "It made sense considering who my parents were. I'm exactly like they warned you I'd be, Donghae." Sungmin helps straighten the crumpled collar of his friend's suit. "A leech to your future, a parasite."
There's no hint of spite nor motive in his voice, his words were a truth he long accepted. His hand lingers over the fixed attire, he could almost touch his bare skin, and the fabric in between is all that stops him. His fingertips just inches away from the base of his neck.
Though his hands are dry, he feels his touch stains him.
With just one touch of his hand, will Donghae be ruined forever?
He then withdraws his hand. "Have fun," he encourages lightly, glinted eyes narrowed at the brightening lights above them as they turn on. "We'll hang out another night." He steps away without looking back before Donghae aims to stop him.
Sungmin knew if he let him, Donghae would have told his current boyfriend another day. Sungmin decides to be a decent friend for once and doesn't let him. He should be thankful enough he's fit into Donghae's schedule at all, yet with how often they meet, it's never been a concern for either of them.
Still, it never feels enough.
Drenched in cold water, splashing onto his expensive edges of his tailored pants, soaking to his skin until he feels goosebumps.
It may have been human nature, or his own that believes physical pain will counteract his others, until he's so overwhelmed he can't see the vague lines between. And for so long, it's worked.
And when the rain comes to a stop, he's left with nothing.
-
Amongst his many friends, Sungmin does have a boyfriend, who claims it one-sidedly. With the perks included and paired with his little patience against men like him, Sungmin doesn't bother convincing him otherwise and know the relationship is just another fleeting whim.
He doesn't cringe though he bothers him, and wishes he could just be left be. His boyfriend doesn't grasp the hint, an over confident man with wealth to spend at every impulse and lives life to make a statement, and doesn't care how they're perceived by those around them to do their best to ignore the pair.
In sight of his boyfriend's grabby attention, Sungmin pulls away as he sees eagerness swept across the crowd. Sungmin doesn't have to turn around to know who they were all delighted to see. Donghae could always lure attention without meaning to, tonight was no different.
Despite his encouragement that they'd see one another, Sungmin doesn't get the chance to is finally pulled to the other side behind a pillared wall with nature filled vases filling in each narrow spot. This side is empty as the crowd gathers in the other side and gives them their privacy.
Sungmin's pressed against the velvet printed wall, his hand on the sill of the open wall, supporting himself as his boyfriend demands and marks his skin.
Donghae smiles, continually speaking to his deserved peers, answering and deliberating their educated ideas, hoping to grasp even a touch of his welcomed advice.
Through the thin pillars, obscured by their ignorance and focused eyes, the consultant keeps his hand atop of the escort's. They were all so blind.
Just how weak had he become? That he needed that small ledge of support, and holds onto his hand, as if the second it leaves his grip he'll fall into pieces.
His tight grip expresses a promise long held between them, though never once said verbally. It's one professed during one early morning, shared by two children, one smart and upcoming, the other vulnerable and wary. Whose futures divide into mismatched directions, destined to never intertwine, yet the young child still reaches out his hand through the muddy grass, forcing his growing hand through the cracks of the fence he finds it harder to reach through.
Sungmin meets his welcoming hand halfway, and holds on tight.
"Never abandon me."
-
Donghae steps out of the office after a long talk speaking unofficial terms, and though nothing's settled, the business officer is left scowling inside as Donghae walks to the elevator, unfazed. He checks his email on his cell briefly and looks up,
"Kibum-shii," Donghae greets.
Kibum smiles.
"If this is about the details of the deal, I have already discussed with the your director-"
"I'd rather this were not a professional meeting," the lawyer interrupts as they approach the elevator. "This is casual conversation between two acquaintances, can you amuse me with that?"
Its Donghae's soft-hearted appearance that attracts the scheming, who assume they can walk around the impressionable man. Kibum, like them all, thought he was easy prey. It's only after faced with his fronts, that they all realize there's an artful man who couldn't easily be trifled with.
It may have been that personality that troubles Sungmin, Kibum muses. Even he, with his trained eyes, finds he cannot read Donghae as well as most would hope.
"Do you enjoy your work?"
The sign above highlights the approaching floors. "I do, and you?"
"The act of intimidating those on a constant basis, with the courts of South Korea to back me no less. I cannot complain."
They step inside the elevator after it empties of some, leaving them with just a gossiping pair, their focus is not on the stoic pair standing behind. It's just as good as an empty room.
"I always felt you knew I wouldn't be the one that made him happy."
Donghae pauses, "I had my doubts, but who was I to damper the chance? Even I could be wrong."
"A warning would have been kind."
"But it would go unheard," Donghae asserts.
Kibum coyly shifts his briefcase as the others file out of the elevator. "I have to be aware of a person's motives from the start, it's what helps me do what the company expects of me. With you, I'm often deliberate whether you're actually against Sungmin attaining happiness. Sometimes I blamed you for the root of our failed romance. I, however, have some misgivings about that theory."
The lawyer studies Donghae's friendly demeanor from the elevator doors reflection. "Then I thought, what if the warmhearted man's intentions are actually what they appear, and that in fact there's little beneath the surface?"
The elevator dings as they reach the first floor, Donghae then turns to face him, wearing a tender smile.
"I am nothing but a last resort." Donghae contests, and steps out. Kibum follows but stops by in the hallway, they are truly alike.
And like Sungmin, Donghae evades his prying.
-
Sungmin rarely touched alcohol. Donghae once hears Sungmin say he doesn't touch the stuff because it ruins his judgment, something he couldn't afford to lose control. And as he drowns his many friends with the likes of it, Sungmin remains sober and aware of the decision he makes.
That, and Sungmin admits to him one early morning, he's afraid he'll say something he can't take back.
It's the middle of fall with no important dates to celebrate, but there's a party for nearly everything. Donghae rarely goes for the mere sake of it, but tonight he holds a motive.
It's yet at another party, with another brazen woman who latches onto his side, that Donghae sees Sungmin standing by the table with a drink on hand. He waits, speaks with some admirers until he sees Sungmin now alone.
He then reaches the table. "You've been avoiding me, have I done something wrong?" Donghae asks straightforwardly with Sungmin's back to him.
Sungmin impassively reaches for a glass of champagne, "I didn't feel up for conversation. Am I not allowed to want distance every once in a while? Am I required to be with someone every waking second?"
"No," Donghae agrees. "My apologies."
Though Sungmin is cross with him, he doesn't apologize in turn, and takes a sip from his glass.
"It's rather nice," Donghae compliments of their surroundings, it's a mundane question he asks often, because it gives little reason for a specific answer. And he watches how they respond, react, and pinpoints how that person is feeling with their current outlook.
Sungmin doesn't provide an answer, with no comment Donghae knows he's more than just upset, yet it's not anger centered to the room or its guests. It may have been the last of the drink that prompts him to spill his current thought.
"I've ruined everything, or so he claims." Sungmin voices.
"Then he has said something to you." Donghae acknowledges, “I apologize on his behalf, I may not have ended it as cleanly as I thought.”
Sungmin scoffs. "Your ex is bitter, it wouldn’t have mattered how well you did it. Amazing how all of your ex's eventually shift their grudges onto me." He considers a second glass. "They'll find anyone to blame, whether they're at fault or not. They need a reason, and thinking they're below par isn't one they'll be satisfied with."
“I doubt most would accept that."
"Maybe they should, the earlier they realize how flawed they truly are, the easier it is to avoid and repeat failures."
"Then your method is best? Stepping into a relationship that you're aware is destined to fail from the start? How is that any kinder?"
"I never claimed it was kind," Sungmin retorts. He finishes his glass and is in no mood for a second, he's aware no amount of alcohol does anything to numb his emotions, and loosens his control of them. He's already doing so.
Sungmin eyes his date from afar and sees her showing keen interest in another young man, and takes that as his cue. He sets down his empty glass. "I'll be seeing you," he says shortly before leaving.
"Sungmin. Sungmin!”
The man is pulled to a halt as Donghae catches up, "That's enough. You have to realize you can't escape everything."
"It's better that I do." Sungmin rationalizes. The consultant yanks his arm once again.
His calm act could never fool him. Donghae's grip stubbornly holds on. "Why must you do this? Why must you hurt yourself like this? You cannot pretend none of this hurts you, that you're immune to people like that."
"I am," Sungmin insists.
"If you truly believe that... how far have you gone to deceive yourself?"
Sungmin clenches his jaw, "We may be friends, but you're crossing the line."
"Am I crossing the line if I want my friend to be happy?" Donghae defends. Sungmin turns away and faces those large glass doors.
"We never should have been friends in the first place."
Donghae remains quiet, Sungmin successfully pulls away his hand. "It was a mistake from the beginning, though we grew up nearly side by side, we were meant for different paths Donghae. You're foolish not to see it."
Donghae smiles, though it's far from compassion. "I wish that were true. If I believed you were a cruel person, then I would have separated myself from you. For a man of my stature, it's dangerous for the likes of me to be close with someone who claims he can have anyone, yet cannot seize the one right beside him."
"And what would happen if I asked you to be with me?" Sungmin snaps, anger seeping through his "If I had forgotten my morals, truly left them behind, and been involved with you. How differently would you have turned out? How much lower would you fallen off the ladder of society? With your parents convinced and mouthing off that this boy will ruin you, that this boy will ruin everything."
The lump in his throat nearly chokes him, "How can they be so sure? When I was so young, how dare they label me a risk, a failure? What gives them the right to decide how I'll end up?!" He yells.
He takes a deep breath, He clears his throat. "And knowing they were right... Could you even consider me an option? Is that even possible?"
Sungmin reaches for the doorknobs and pulls open the doors and the horrid rain filters through.
"I can't be with you,"
Sungmin stops right at the edge where the carpet meets the outside.
Though it's meant as a rhetoric question, the answer pierces through. The pain is visible in his stance.
Donghae then speaks, "I can't be with you until you understand. You're so convinced that you'll be the downfall of me, that you'll destroy my well-being that you avoid the possibility. I've reached the highest my success can reach, and it doesn't tempt you. You never allow it."
The red carpet is stained with the harsh rains in which Sungmin's stands on. Donghae steps forward and pulls him back from the shifting rain, "I can offer you everything I have, without care what you do with my wealth. I'll show you compassion and kindness, trust."
He then dries Sungmin's damp cheek with the back of his sleeve, "I want to be with you, but I cannot if you're persuaded that just our friendship alone is venomous. Your uncertainty isn't a foundation our future can flourish. We'll fail no matter what I do to prove myself otherwise, I need you to believe you are meant to be with me. That my life is better," he says warmly. "With you"
His honesty was his most lethal weapon, and Sungmin feels himself pulling it deeper into his chest.
Of all prospects Donghae delve into before, he’s never put more thought on anything else but the possibility of them.
Sungmin knows how to act the first kiss, to tease with mingled breath between them, eyes tentatively closed. He plans and plans, and though every gesture is laid out, instead, Donghae places a thoughtful kiss on his head.
There's not a single number in his thoughts. He wants him without pretext, craves his presence so strongly, he needs him. Sungmin falls into his hold, and Donghae feels the fresh tears blemish his dress shirt.
Donghae turns around as the incessant rain continues pouring, letting it spatter onto his back.
-
It isn't easy.
And first, they all misunderstand his notion and loss of contact, and they keep coming by his known apartments and call his old numbers, email him and fail to track him down. Not knowing he's currently in the spare bedroom of his friend's home, laying down on a mattress with clothes intact and skin untouched.
Money had always been the equivalent of success, not the many companions he holds. With each valued gift, his worth is raised. Yet when he's was enveloped in his wealth, that satisfaction was only so brief.
He sits up during those early hours, watching as the rain fades away and the dark clouds remain in the sky, threatening to fall for a second time.
He pulls away from the sight and turns to Donghae who sits beside him.
"I want to go outside," Sungmin murmurs. Donghae joins him.
The sun can't be seen, but Sungmin feels relaxed, calmed by the cool temperatures. He brushes his palms against his neck and feels the skin is cold to the touch. When Donghae reaches out and holds his hand, its warmth is overpowering.
With Donghae's sincerity, Sungmin finds more validation with his alone than he's had with the many.
Donghae's like the rain, overwhelming, soothing, reviving.
And when Donghae initiates their first real kiss, their futures at last entwine together.
rssj1314's Secret Eaves | Donghae/Sungmin
[ Previous: Kris/Victoria (Violins)] | [ Next: Henry/Xiumin (Whispers)]
A/N: Lost inspiration fairly quickly but I had already written so much and just tried my best, ><, if anything, will try to revise another time.... (And if I do get the chance to revise, some changes will be.. evident ^^;)
Apologies all around.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Donghae/Sungmin
Genre: AU!Drama/Romance
Summary: Donghae's worked hard to earn his spot amongst the elite, and like a beacon of light he stands proudly with them. Sungmin learns it's easier to to solicit his way in, and like a shadow he appears closely by and pulls against the fringes of success.
A/N: Apologies for all errors.
// Rain //
Her touch feels like the rain.
Cold, unrelenting, unwanted.
"Do you know I adore you?" She tells him, whispers adoringly as her fingers tangled themselves in his hair.
She kisses him on the cheek, the neck, and returns to kiss him fully on the mouth. Numbers appear in his shrewd thoughts, the number reaches higher as he counts with every action, gesture of her roaming hands and the responses she demands from him.
That late afternoon he dresses into his clothes as she smokes on the balcony, adjusting the cuffs of his collar when she returns inside. Reaching her long fingers inside her pulled top dress drawer. "A gift," she offers.
He opens it, and sees brandished gold cufflinks inside. "I want to see you wear them next time." She tells him.
"I will." He replies and earns a sultry smile in return.
He returns to the streets just as the sun begins to set, but his day hasn't yet ended. He reads the silent that appeared on his cell and reads it,
"Tonight, 7:15, at Jolgia Bar."
He didn't even have to change as he meets with the next.
Sungmin is not an official escort. His name is not owned by any business or person, nor is he signed to a contract. His name sells itself, known through these inclusive circles. And though it receives a bad connotation, his deemed deemed wicked ways earns him more attention than he expects. He barely has to lift a finger as they flock to his side, and waits patiently for the empty space beside him to fill.
Their fantasy is never-ending, his stops the moment he enters his building and takes the elevator to the top floors. And when the elevator opens, he's subtly startled at the guest by his door.
"Donghae," Sungmin notes.
Donghae says goodbye to the client on his cell and holds up a bag, greeting him as Sungmin opens his door.
Unlike the others Sungmin associates himself with, Donghae enters his apartment void of a single polluted thought.
“I think you may like the food.” Donghae sets the prepared lunch on his counter. Sungmin took off his blazer and dumps it over the dining room table and walks to his bathroom.
"I thought you were abroad for research."
"I was, there was not much there but I kept the notes, in case an opportunity presents itself. It seems that side is becoming a trend amongst many hotels, they've been inquiring about it."
"Aren't you always out and about," Sungmin comments. "How many more places can you possibly help after all is set and done?"
"It's in their nature to want the newest and the best, my job is never done." Donghae smiled, though his work is time-consuming and demanding, his friend never appears stressed. Donghae settled into a love seat, scanning around the spacious suite that accommodated only one tenant. He hears the sink turn on as Sungmin washes his face. "This is a nice place."
Sungmin switched off the water and dries his face, "it is, though I won't have it for long. That damn guy almost gave me an STD."
He mentions it so casually that it bothers some, and he mentions in passing as he strides to the kitchen. "A jealous friend of mine handled his tests and told me. He won't be interested in me for long if I refuse, and his treatment will be for a long while."
The good-natured man's lowers his gaze. "You're aware of the offer in case none of your other friends have panned out."
He reaches out for the cup of hot coffee that’s meant as thanks for the food. Though he's settled for the night, Sungmin drank it for more therapeutic reasons.
Donghae glances up at his friend who bemusedly declined his offer and boldly declares, "That won't ever be a problem."
Donghae's cell rings and he answers another concerned client. Sungmin checks on the bag his friend brings him.
With how cold the food is, Sungmin briefly wonders how long Donghae had been waiting.
-
"How dare you?!"
A drink was tossed into his face.
And everything was going so smoothly. Sungmin thinks disappointedly at the face of yet another confrontation as the shocked man beside him gasped.
"Can you accept breaking up a family? Tearing apart my marriage?!" She screeches.
He calmly dabs his face with the handkerchief on the table, "I can. I sleep rather well at night too before you ask."
The woman hurls more insults at him until she's pulled by her husband's restraining arms.
"When you're ready to see me again, call me." Sungmin says as he leaves the table, adding fuel to the fire as the wife screams at her petrified husband.
How weak, Sungmin thinks as he cleans himself, checking himself once over before he leaves the restaurant's bathroom.
"You handled yourself quite well."
Sungmin paused right before a small table that's set at the restaurant's lounge. Kibum taps his finger on his glass, "Although I wonder why you dealt with it at all."
"He's good pay." Sungmin explains simply. And at Kibum’s gestured hand, Sungmin promptly takes the offered seat across from him.
It's so matter of fact, Kibum should have realized it. "Of course. Is there not a person in your life who isn't reaped with good fortune? Have you ever opted for less?"
He gives a skeptic scoff, "What sort of future am I to have then?"
Kibum arched an eyebrow. "There are people who deem themselves thriving, those endowed with family, friendship, love claim to be."
Sungmin's devious smile plays onto his soft lips, and coolly states. "Money is the definitive measure of success."
Kibum gives a single nod, though he'd rather believe in the ideal of society, Sungmin's words hold a cold truth to them. He refills his own glass, he’d offer Sungmin but the man always declined a drink with him.
"If that’s all you’re after, then why not Donghae?” He poses. “Your good friend is reputable enough, his contracts earn covers more than half of those you've meet. He has many important friends and connections, more than he knows what to do with." Kibum tilts his head, eyes squinted in curiosity. "Why do you overlook the man who casts success with every project he comes across?"
Kibum gives it thought as he lifts his glass, "Then again, for a man whose life revolves around collecting data, studying and predicting every prospect. The risks may not be worth the benefits. To consider you, he'd-"
"He'd be a fool." Sungmin finishes for him, the corners of his lips shifted upwards.
Kibum chuckles. "Maybe if Donghae hears first hand the woes of a man who regrets loving you, he'll think first before accepting the idea."
Sungmin side-eyes the spurned man.
Kibum sets down his empty glass. "Isn't that more courtesy than he deserves? The idea of cautioning a man whose priority is over mine."
"You knew from the beginning," Sungmin reminds.
"And like others, I didn't heed your warning." Kibum sentiments. "How did you ever come to be friends with his sort? Was your mother his father's mistress?"
"We were next door neighbors." Sungmin clarified, not the least bit insulted by the other's insinuation. "Are you joining me tonight? A friend is having a party, she may have friends for you."
Kibum locks eyes with those callous ones, in sight of their former relationship, Sungmin always changed subjects before dwelling into his past. He smirks, "Why not? Maybe one of them know of a quick fix to a broken heart."
Kibum may have known his ex (a term he gave loosely) a little better than everyone else, but in reality that held very little.
-
Though Donghae's parents were not of wealth or high class, they speak of the future their son can give them, will give them with his quick study and personality. They see his well-mannered appearance yet firm mind, an asset that could take him places. They were right, and with their resources, begin to train him for that success.
Sungmin grew up in the same neighborhood, but his parents held little optimism for their future and didn't thrust their ideals or hopes onto their child whose around the same age, if there were ever any. He's given their charming looks, and though that holds little regard in the household, he observes his parents and realizes they can get just about anything through looks alone. They never teach their child, but he learns it best just the same.
Donghae attended the best school his parents struggled to afford, and walks a far distance for the bus stop in one direction. Sungmin attended the local ones and walks the opposite. Donghae returns home and studies most of the night, Sungmin often sits in his cooped up room in the often empty house.
Their homes are exact replicas, their rooms are just across from one another. Some nights, Donghae sometimes stood outside in his backyard, taking a deep breath as he tilts his head upward and clears his cluttered mind. Sungmin sat on the stone deck outside, chin on his propped elbow as his father brings a woman home upstairs.
"Hi,"
Sungmin blinks and peers through the thin gaps of the fence. He kneels down on the grass and tilts his head until he sees the boy on the opposite side through a chipped piece.
"Hi," Sungmin greets him back and Donghae beams.
The two are rather close with just an aged fence between them, and a friendship builds over time as they sit by it most evenings through that opening.
-
The skies begin to sprinkle outside but Sungmin pays little mind to it, he doesn't cower under covers as others do or run through. When Sungmin reaches the plaza a few minutes early, he sees Donghae taking shelter beneath the restaurant's umbrella, already waiting there with cell on hand.
Sungmin fixes his dyed bangs that plaster against his forehead. "Has something happened?" He asks, Donghae looks up and answers promptly without holding back anything.
"My boyfriend is flying in for his conference. He wants to spend the night together before he has to leave for the morning."
Sungmin purses his lips, "I see. You might have mentioned these plans so I didn't leave the night free."
"Leave it free." Donghae insists, though he’s tolerant of Sungmin’s lifestyle, he didn’t accept it.
"That's a night wasted." Sungmin utters. "Besides, we'll have tomorrow evening, won't we? We've been invited to the same party."
Donghae dislikes the idea, and reaches for his cell. Sungmin interrupts him before he can dial and change his plans. "Donghae, it's fine." He laughs lightly, "Sometimes I feel like you still see me as that jilted boy who didn't get invited to his best friend's birthday party."
The consultant pauses his hand on his cell, Sungmin chuckles at his actions.
"I can't see how you hold it over yourself when you had nothing to do with it," Sungmin adds. It wasn't something he could ever hold him against.
Donghae's parents controlled that list and every aspect of his life at that age, and before Donghae even asks his neighbor, he asks for their permission first. Sungmin remembers hearing from his bedroom window Donghae asking them, and their clear rejection of him right after.
The smile that appears on his face is deceptively sweet. "It made sense considering who my parents were. I'm exactly like they warned you I'd be, Donghae." Sungmin helps straighten the crumpled collar of his friend's suit. "A leech to your future, a parasite."
There's no hint of spite nor motive in his voice, his words were a truth he long accepted. His hand lingers over the fixed attire, he could almost touch his bare skin, and the fabric in between is all that stops him. His fingertips just inches away from the base of his neck.
Though his hands are dry, he feels his touch stains him.
With just one touch of his hand, will Donghae be ruined forever?
He then withdraws his hand. "Have fun," he encourages lightly, glinted eyes narrowed at the brightening lights above them as they turn on. "We'll hang out another night." He steps away without looking back before Donghae aims to stop him.
Sungmin knew if he let him, Donghae would have told his current boyfriend another day. Sungmin decides to be a decent friend for once and doesn't let him. He should be thankful enough he's fit into Donghae's schedule at all, yet with how often they meet, it's never been a concern for either of them.
Still, it never feels enough.
Drenched in cold water, splashing onto his expensive edges of his tailored pants, soaking to his skin until he feels goosebumps.
It may have been human nature, or his own that believes physical pain will counteract his others, until he's so overwhelmed he can't see the vague lines between. And for so long, it's worked.
And when the rain comes to a stop, he's left with nothing.
-
Amongst his many friends, Sungmin does have a boyfriend, who claims it one-sidedly. With the perks included and paired with his little patience against men like him, Sungmin doesn't bother convincing him otherwise and know the relationship is just another fleeting whim.
He doesn't cringe though he bothers him, and wishes he could just be left be. His boyfriend doesn't grasp the hint, an over confident man with wealth to spend at every impulse and lives life to make a statement, and doesn't care how they're perceived by those around them to do their best to ignore the pair.
In sight of his boyfriend's grabby attention, Sungmin pulls away as he sees eagerness swept across the crowd. Sungmin doesn't have to turn around to know who they were all delighted to see. Donghae could always lure attention without meaning to, tonight was no different.
Despite his encouragement that they'd see one another, Sungmin doesn't get the chance to is finally pulled to the other side behind a pillared wall with nature filled vases filling in each narrow spot. This side is empty as the crowd gathers in the other side and gives them their privacy.
Sungmin's pressed against the velvet printed wall, his hand on the sill of the open wall, supporting himself as his boyfriend demands and marks his skin.
Donghae smiles, continually speaking to his deserved peers, answering and deliberating their educated ideas, hoping to grasp even a touch of his welcomed advice.
Through the thin pillars, obscured by their ignorance and focused eyes, the consultant keeps his hand atop of the escort's. They were all so blind.
Just how weak had he become? That he needed that small ledge of support, and holds onto his hand, as if the second it leaves his grip he'll fall into pieces.
His tight grip expresses a promise long held between them, though never once said verbally. It's one professed during one early morning, shared by two children, one smart and upcoming, the other vulnerable and wary. Whose futures divide into mismatched directions, destined to never intertwine, yet the young child still reaches out his hand through the muddy grass, forcing his growing hand through the cracks of the fence he finds it harder to reach through.
Sungmin meets his welcoming hand halfway, and holds on tight.
"Never abandon me."
-
Donghae steps out of the office after a long talk speaking unofficial terms, and though nothing's settled, the business officer is left scowling inside as Donghae walks to the elevator, unfazed. He checks his email on his cell briefly and looks up,
"Kibum-shii," Donghae greets.
Kibum smiles.
"If this is about the details of the deal, I have already discussed with the your director-"
"I'd rather this were not a professional meeting," the lawyer interrupts as they approach the elevator. "This is casual conversation between two acquaintances, can you amuse me with that?"
Its Donghae's soft-hearted appearance that attracts the scheming, who assume they can walk around the impressionable man. Kibum, like them all, thought he was easy prey. It's only after faced with his fronts, that they all realize there's an artful man who couldn't easily be trifled with.
It may have been that personality that troubles Sungmin, Kibum muses. Even he, with his trained eyes, finds he cannot read Donghae as well as most would hope.
"Do you enjoy your work?"
The sign above highlights the approaching floors. "I do, and you?"
"The act of intimidating those on a constant basis, with the courts of South Korea to back me no less. I cannot complain."
They step inside the elevator after it empties of some, leaving them with just a gossiping pair, their focus is not on the stoic pair standing behind. It's just as good as an empty room.
"I always felt you knew I wouldn't be the one that made him happy."
Donghae pauses, "I had my doubts, but who was I to damper the chance? Even I could be wrong."
"A warning would have been kind."
"But it would go unheard," Donghae asserts.
Kibum coyly shifts his briefcase as the others file out of the elevator. "I have to be aware of a person's motives from the start, it's what helps me do what the company expects of me. With you, I'm often deliberate whether you're actually against Sungmin attaining happiness. Sometimes I blamed you for the root of our failed romance. I, however, have some misgivings about that theory."
The lawyer studies Donghae's friendly demeanor from the elevator doors reflection. "Then I thought, what if the warmhearted man's intentions are actually what they appear, and that in fact there's little beneath the surface?"
The elevator dings as they reach the first floor, Donghae then turns to face him, wearing a tender smile.
"I am nothing but a last resort." Donghae contests, and steps out. Kibum follows but stops by in the hallway, they are truly alike.
And like Sungmin, Donghae evades his prying.
-
Sungmin rarely touched alcohol. Donghae once hears Sungmin say he doesn't touch the stuff because it ruins his judgment, something he couldn't afford to lose control. And as he drowns his many friends with the likes of it, Sungmin remains sober and aware of the decision he makes.
That, and Sungmin admits to him one early morning, he's afraid he'll say something he can't take back.
It's the middle of fall with no important dates to celebrate, but there's a party for nearly everything. Donghae rarely goes for the mere sake of it, but tonight he holds a motive.
It's yet at another party, with another brazen woman who latches onto his side, that Donghae sees Sungmin standing by the table with a drink on hand. He waits, speaks with some admirers until he sees Sungmin now alone.
He then reaches the table. "You've been avoiding me, have I done something wrong?" Donghae asks straightforwardly with Sungmin's back to him.
Sungmin impassively reaches for a glass of champagne, "I didn't feel up for conversation. Am I not allowed to want distance every once in a while? Am I required to be with someone every waking second?"
"No," Donghae agrees. "My apologies."
Though Sungmin is cross with him, he doesn't apologize in turn, and takes a sip from his glass.
"It's rather nice," Donghae compliments of their surroundings, it's a mundane question he asks often, because it gives little reason for a specific answer. And he watches how they respond, react, and pinpoints how that person is feeling with their current outlook.
Sungmin doesn't provide an answer, with no comment Donghae knows he's more than just upset, yet it's not anger centered to the room or its guests. It may have been the last of the drink that prompts him to spill his current thought.
"I've ruined everything, or so he claims." Sungmin voices.
"Then he has said something to you." Donghae acknowledges, “I apologize on his behalf, I may not have ended it as cleanly as I thought.”
Sungmin scoffs. "Your ex is bitter, it wouldn’t have mattered how well you did it. Amazing how all of your ex's eventually shift their grudges onto me." He considers a second glass. "They'll find anyone to blame, whether they're at fault or not. They need a reason, and thinking they're below par isn't one they'll be satisfied with."
“I doubt most would accept that."
"Maybe they should, the earlier they realize how flawed they truly are, the easier it is to avoid and repeat failures."
"Then your method is best? Stepping into a relationship that you're aware is destined to fail from the start? How is that any kinder?"
"I never claimed it was kind," Sungmin retorts. He finishes his glass and is in no mood for a second, he's aware no amount of alcohol does anything to numb his emotions, and loosens his control of them. He's already doing so.
Sungmin eyes his date from afar and sees her showing keen interest in another young man, and takes that as his cue. He sets down his empty glass. "I'll be seeing you," he says shortly before leaving.
"Sungmin. Sungmin!”
The man is pulled to a halt as Donghae catches up, "That's enough. You have to realize you can't escape everything."
"It's better that I do." Sungmin rationalizes. The consultant yanks his arm once again.
His calm act could never fool him. Donghae's grip stubbornly holds on. "Why must you do this? Why must you hurt yourself like this? You cannot pretend none of this hurts you, that you're immune to people like that."
"I am," Sungmin insists.
"If you truly believe that... how far have you gone to deceive yourself?"
Sungmin clenches his jaw, "We may be friends, but you're crossing the line."
"Am I crossing the line if I want my friend to be happy?" Donghae defends. Sungmin turns away and faces those large glass doors.
"We never should have been friends in the first place."
Donghae remains quiet, Sungmin successfully pulls away his hand. "It was a mistake from the beginning, though we grew up nearly side by side, we were meant for different paths Donghae. You're foolish not to see it."
Donghae smiles, though it's far from compassion. "I wish that were true. If I believed you were a cruel person, then I would have separated myself from you. For a man of my stature, it's dangerous for the likes of me to be close with someone who claims he can have anyone, yet cannot seize the one right beside him."
"And what would happen if I asked you to be with me?" Sungmin snaps, anger seeping through his "If I had forgotten my morals, truly left them behind, and been involved with you. How differently would you have turned out? How much lower would you fallen off the ladder of society? With your parents convinced and mouthing off that this boy will ruin you, that this boy will ruin everything."
The lump in his throat nearly chokes him, "How can they be so sure? When I was so young, how dare they label me a risk, a failure? What gives them the right to decide how I'll end up?!" He yells.
He takes a deep breath, He clears his throat. "And knowing they were right... Could you even consider me an option? Is that even possible?"
Sungmin reaches for the doorknobs and pulls open the doors and the horrid rain filters through.
"I can't be with you,"
Sungmin stops right at the edge where the carpet meets the outside.
Though it's meant as a rhetoric question, the answer pierces through. The pain is visible in his stance.
Donghae then speaks, "I can't be with you until you understand. You're so convinced that you'll be the downfall of me, that you'll destroy my well-being that you avoid the possibility. I've reached the highest my success can reach, and it doesn't tempt you. You never allow it."
The red carpet is stained with the harsh rains in which Sungmin's stands on. Donghae steps forward and pulls him back from the shifting rain, "I can offer you everything I have, without care what you do with my wealth. I'll show you compassion and kindness, trust."
He then dries Sungmin's damp cheek with the back of his sleeve, "I want to be with you, but I cannot if you're persuaded that just our friendship alone is venomous. Your uncertainty isn't a foundation our future can flourish. We'll fail no matter what I do to prove myself otherwise, I need you to believe you are meant to be with me. That my life is better," he says warmly. "With you"
His honesty was his most lethal weapon, and Sungmin feels himself pulling it deeper into his chest.
Of all prospects Donghae delve into before, he’s never put more thought on anything else but the possibility of them.
Sungmin knows how to act the first kiss, to tease with mingled breath between them, eyes tentatively closed. He plans and plans, and though every gesture is laid out, instead, Donghae places a thoughtful kiss on his head.
There's not a single number in his thoughts. He wants him without pretext, craves his presence so strongly, he needs him. Sungmin falls into his hold, and Donghae feels the fresh tears blemish his dress shirt.
Donghae turns around as the incessant rain continues pouring, letting it spatter onto his back.
-
It isn't easy.
And first, they all misunderstand his notion and loss of contact, and they keep coming by his known apartments and call his old numbers, email him and fail to track him down. Not knowing he's currently in the spare bedroom of his friend's home, laying down on a mattress with clothes intact and skin untouched.
Money had always been the equivalent of success, not the many companions he holds. With each valued gift, his worth is raised. Yet when he's was enveloped in his wealth, that satisfaction was only so brief.
He sits up during those early hours, watching as the rain fades away and the dark clouds remain in the sky, threatening to fall for a second time.
He pulls away from the sight and turns to Donghae who sits beside him.
"I want to go outside," Sungmin murmurs. Donghae joins him.
The sun can't be seen, but Sungmin feels relaxed, calmed by the cool temperatures. He brushes his palms against his neck and feels the skin is cold to the touch. When Donghae reaches out and holds his hand, its warmth is overpowering.
With Donghae's sincerity, Sungmin finds more validation with his alone than he's had with the many.
Donghae's like the rain, overwhelming, soothing, reviving.
And when Donghae initiates their first real kiss, their futures at last entwine together.
rssj1314's Secret Eaves | Donghae/Sungmin
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A/N: Lost inspiration fairly quickly but I had already written so much and just tried my best, ><, if anything, will try to revise another time.... (And if I do get the chance to revise, some changes will be.. evident ^^;)
Apologies all around.