Loyalties: Skewed Promises
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: YunJae/Jaeho
Genre: AU!Drama, Romance, Minor!Angst
Summary: All he could see were the flaws, the wrongs done and those who overlooked him. He closed his eyes from the world that turned against him. All the while, a hand reached out silently and timidly towards him, protecting him from the obscene.
Warning: Mentions/alluding to physical abuse.
-
February 13, 1969
Jaejoong traced his finger on the fogged glass, unable to see his face but a vague outline, but he enjoyed that aspect the most at his young age. He laid his hands on the glass, clutching them slightly, waiting.
He then saw another outline reflected in the glass. His eyes glanced at the disheveled child, barely older than he was, who flinched away from his outstretched hand.
With a bruised face, the beaten child was cradled in his arms.
"Your head hurts, doesn't it?" Yunho didn't answer, but as he scrunched up his face, he knew it did. "Your mother is a horrible person." Jaejoong commented lightly, he then sighed. "Father wants to marry her. He doesn't know she's a bad person."
Yunho cowered his head as they sat beside the various tools in that small shed, their only escape.
"We can protect each other... right?" Jaejoong asks, doubt lingering in his tone of voice. He was given no answer as his soon to be brother slept beside him in that small room, laying his head against his thin shoulder.
He initially hated the other.
Yunho, when he first arrived, appeared rather shy and timid. Somehow, it was as if he expected an immediate friendship with Jaejoong, but the latter denied it completely. He already had a hard enough time grabbing his father's attention, a stepbrother would only be competition.
When Jaejoong bothered to spare some attention, he realized the young boy always seemed to be looking in another direction, never able to look him straight in the eye. It's then he puts it together when he overhears the woman's explanation, and learns Yunho's eyes weren't aligned. His constant migraines caused his eyes to be such a way she explains.
Jaejoong narrowed his eyes at the woman's kind smile, knowing she caused this only enraged him more. But he was just a child, and unfortunately then, there was nothing he could do.
-
May 19, 1980
"Hyung,"
The young agent opens his eyes exhaustively, straining from beneath the lights of the room full of bunk beds, where agents could crash for the night. This particular room had become too familiar for him over the last year alone.
He looks up at the television, not a word on the murders, but he wish he could warn that it was unsafe. It was better to keep a tight lip then scare off the public, those words burned him more. But it wasn't his case, he was constantly reminded, and was chosen to stay out of it.
"How are they handling the uprisings?" Jaejoong asks an approaching man, having just returned and glimpsed at the surrounding closed universities throughout the city, and sees this as an answer to the student uprisings occurring as of late.
"The soldiers are handling that one." He answers.
Keep out, Jaejoong can hear them order clearly.
Jaejoong walks out of the room when he hears a scuffle in a distance, he paces himself there and sees a fellow agent grimacing as she spoke to her subordinates.
"What's wrong?"
"My suspect collapsed." Liyin uttered, fists clutched as she left. He knows she's under pressure to finish this case, being one of the few women able to rise up the ranks.
"The one for the Lau murder case?" Jaejoong asks, he stops a co-agent under Liyin's supervision and asks for the files. He just needed to know what the progress could be-
He stops on the spot.
Jaejoong steps through the hospital doors, with a quick explanation, he arrives to the mid floors as he reaches to the number given to him, slowly coming to a stop when he recognizes the familiar up-do.
"What's wrong with him?"
And to his horror, she turns around and recognizes him too and reaches out to him. "Jaejoong, I haven't seen you in so long."
"It appears the patient's been suffering malnutrition for a long while now-"
"Is he bruised?" Jaejoong interrupts. The nurse was stunned that he knew, but the agent wishes he were wrong.
This woman never changed.
Jaejoong avoids her hand. "I'm here for my job, not to see you."
She stops him, holding up a hand, not put off by his clear distaste for her. "I know you can help my son, I heard from your father you're enrolled in the government agency now. You can clear his charges, can't you?"
"It doesn't work like that." He says firmly, she stops him again.
"You can," She smiles. "He was almost your brother after all-"
"What do you want from me? When you were the one who probably put him here in the first place." Jaejoong snaps, the woman recoiled. "I'm done fixing every mistake you've made, he and I don't have that connection between us anymore. You and I? We never had one to begin with, and don't pretend otherwise."
Jaejoong walks away from the stunned woman and heads to the room, slapping the curtains behind him. Its then he clears his throat, seeing him for the first time in years.
He steps forward and reaches for the metal bars that were placed on either side, looking down to see the bandaged man held by a pair of handcuffs on either side. He can't get rid of the lump in throat.
-
Yunho opens his eyes and feels a warm embrace on his hand. He looks up to see someone standing over him.
Is he dying?
"Sleep," The voice says. "Don't force yourself up."
The voice is attempting to be gentle, but comes off coarse. Still, it's a soothing voice he enjoys hearing and listens.
-
Things changed the moment the engagement ring was on her finger.
For the first time in his young life he was struck, for reasons he wasn't too sure of. And while he was shocked, Yunho looked as if he expected nothing less.
She knew too well how to hide the bruises, the cuts, becoming worse every time his father left for longer periods of time. He tried to reach out for help, appearing in his father's office, but instead witnessed another woman cozying up to the man. This was how he had always been, but he thought the man would at least care for his own son.
"Go home." The woman even dared to say, smiling as if it could suffice. His father didn’t acknowledge him.
Jaejoong's raised hand was overlooked time and time again, every time he asked for help, no one bothered. Amongst their proud and boastful voices, there was only one who tried.
Yunho warned him when to hide or not return home for the night, taking the punishments himself when possible, the headaches worsening every time. That hatred he once held ceased as Yunho reached out and intertwined their hands together. The only comfort he could rely on.
Still, there was only so much he could take.
“You’re leaving?” His father asks, his son scoffs, it’s only then he cares.
“There’s no point in me staying.” Jaejoong counters, reaching for his backpack. The young teen brazenly left the only home he knew. There was not a reason worth him staying in this hellhole any longer.
Days before the set wedding, he got wind that his father called it off. At first he was cruelly proud.
It was short-lived when he referred to the timid boy who did his best to protect him. He could feel the hand leave his grip, imagine the departing figures out that door.
To think he'd see him again, he never considered the thought. No, he had from time to time, but like every instance, he never knew how to approach it.
His train of thought is interrupted when he sees an empty bed. He stops a passing nurse, "Where is he?"
"He says he's returning to work."
Jaejoong nods and looks back at the checked out room. The time to hold a suspect without pressed charges had ran out the night before.
The agent dumps the bag of goods into the nearby trash. Yunho left no sign of where he could be. It was better this way.
Despite their past, he had nothing to do with him in the first place, he told himself. Remember that.
-
He banged his fist against the dashboard, cursing out loud as he clutched his head, wishing the possibilities that once flowed would do so again. The skills that others often found unmatched.
"You're distracted." His co-agent scolded, just as frustrated. "If you would just clear your head, we'd have caught the killer by now."
It wasn’t that simple, but Jaejoong didn’t retort. He was equally as impatient to finding the culprit, but any person beneath the shadows of the growing Lau family proved difficult to find. But his co-agent was right.
How many times had he re-watched that tape? Rewinding and playing as he watches Liyin interrogate him. Yunho was stoic, mute, unaffected by her callous words and threats. It's only when she makes impact on the table with her fists does he flinch.
He looked down at the files still in his possession, the mug shot raised.
"Are you interfering in my investigation?"
He looks back to see Liyin come in, ready to challenge him. Jaejoong looks back at the interrogation room, tapping the one-way glass. "He isn't your man."
Liyin arches an eyebrow, clearly upset. "We haven't even gotten our results from the lab yet, how would you know?"
Jaejoong then gestures to the photo. "Does he look like a Lau member to you? The circumstances, his exact location, he was chosen as the fall guy."
"What fool decides to go along with it? No matter how loyal they are to their clan, it's reckless."
Jaejoong looked back through the one-way glass, his memory placing the timid figure back in his seat. One who obeys without question, he silently answered.
Liyin returns a few days after with a defeated look, and he knows he was right.
His sources are limited, even with the best of technology they had to date, there wasn't much to look through. Instead he scours the streets and asks, digging deeper than the information given, interrogating and using almost any means necessary, surprised at his own persistence until he finally appeared where all the clues led to.
He exhaled as he gripped his jacket tightly, prepared for anything as he walked inside.
A wave of blood and decomposing carcasses overwhelmed him, cringing at the potent stench. The men shouted incoherent words, encouraging the animals within each circle, some clutching bills of money in their hands. He turned a blind away temporarily from the crimes at hand, scanning the edgy crowd until they rested on a figure in the distance.
He coordinated himself through the yelling men and outward fists until he reached close the cage, cringing as Yunho grabbed the animal by its neck and hoisted it upward, clawing him as he stuffed it in the cage.
It was then that Yunho moved his head, his unaligned eyes in his direction. It takes a few before recognition traced his features, soon after an expression of shame.
"Hey," Jaejoong called out, grabbing his wrist as the man turned away. "Don't leave again."
The man obeyed. Jaejoong realized the extent of how submissive Yunho could become when given the stern tone he used.
"What are you doing?"
Jaejoong turned around at a man wearing a leather jacket and dark shades, everything about him screamed a haughty clan lieutenant whose ego resonated.
"Do you understand the precious time you're wasting?" He grabbed his collar. "You're costing me money!"
His hand was forced away as Jaejoong stood in front of Yunho. "You'll lose more if you touch him again."
Jaejoong was shoved backwards. "Who do you think you are?" He spat.
Before Jaejoong could reveal his badge, Yunho stepped in front of him. The lieutenant hurled curse words as Jaejoong says, only loud enough for the other to hear, "Don't fight my battles."
Yunho reluctantly steps aside as Jaejoong revealed both his gun and federal badge.
"Let him go, or I call in a raid." Jaejoong warned, his words causing most of them gave wary glances except the lieutenant who stared him down. Jaejoong smirked daringly despite the odds against him. "I doubt your boss will go far to protect you in prison. This is just a small part of his business, nothing worth saving."
The situation was still a gamble. The man could easily forego his status and attack him.
He held back a sigh of relief as the lieutenant stepped back, his men doing the same. Jaejoong returned a nod of acknowledgment, pulling Yunho in tow as they left the horrid building.
"How can you breathe in a place like that?" Jaejoong presses. The expressionless Yunho follows along without being asked to, but on silent order.
Yunho flinched from the liquid applied to his hands, Jaejoong held a bandage between his lips as he carefully cleaned the wounds. Once bandaged, he studied the still soiled Yunho who stared at the wooden floor.
His hands remained in his grasp for moments longer, his eyes casted downward. His hands were now scarred and callous. He looks up and can still see his hallow cheeks.
Yunho shifts to glance at the windows when he sees Jaejoong stand up and utters firmly, "You're staying. Don't think of leaving."
He listens.
It seemed Jaejoong was relieved by how he did so without question, but after his shower when he returned to see Yunho still sitting on the couch, obeying his command without question. It felt as if it caused Jaejoong more concern. Yunho didn't understand.
But why? Yunho listened. What was he doing wrong?
-
Yunho, despite being old enough to live on his own, was made dependent on the woman. The thought twisted Jaejoong's insides.
"He's staying with me as he recovers," He tells her once the woman finds him and stands there on his doorstep, barely a week since Yunho's been in his care. He chases her down the steps and forces her just outside the apartment.
"You can't do that!" She yelled as she grabs his arm. She yelps once he slams her to the wall, twisting her arm behind her.
"Don't think I'm afraid to hurt you. It'd only be satisfaction." He warns, then lets go as she massages her reddening arm. "Don't bother contacting him either."
He enters back to the apartment, looking to see Yunho peering through the curtains at the scene. Once inside, he hears Yunho murmur something, but strains to hear the timid voice.
"You don't have to act concerned about me." Yunho repeated loud enough this time.
"What?" Jaejoong asked crossly.
"Aren't I just a charity case to you?"
Was that what that woman drilled into his head? The thought tightens his fist. "That's not it."
"Then what? Are you that guilty over the past? That you feel indebted even if you hate me, even if you're disgusted by-"
Jaejoong placed a finger on his lips, stopping his words. Rather than appearing angry, Yunho was worried, scared.
"Don't listen to that woman's words again. And if your mother does come by, don't answer the door."
That wasn’t an answer.
Yunho watched warily as Jaejoong grabbed the cup, the very one his mother held earlier when the agent had came home unannounced, throwing it in the trash with a loud crash. By reflex, Yunho shuts his eyes and steps back.
Jaejoong sees the effect, and freezes on the spot. Slowly, he lowers his head.
His beeper vibrates and glances at the message, he reaches for his jacket and is called out again. "I'm sorry," he apologizes sincerely just before he steps out.
-
Yunho waited for the day Jaejoong would order him out, patiently until he’s fed up. They always were, but the other never says so, although he’s increasingly frustrated to the degree of how introverted Yunho could be.
It takes a few months for him to speak up, to have normal conversations, to finally have a say. Jaejoong doesn't control him, and guides him to what ordinary life was meant to be. His once sunken cheeks began to fill in, his exhausted eyes regain some life in them.
The migraines were lessening, Yunho realizes as he clutches his head one afternoon. For a moment, he almost forgets what the pain feels like.
"Are you alright?" He hears Jaejoong’s ask calmly, but there’s an undertone of worry.
"Yes," Yunho says honestly, his eyes faced in the direction of the window, but meant in Jaejoong's direction. The agent doesn't have a reaction, unlike the public who always seemed unsure of how to react when they look at him, if they even tried.
"Do you want to eat out?" Jaejoong asks after, once assured nothing was wrong.
Yunho takes a bit of time to answer, it still felt strange to be asked. "Let's... go to the shop, there." Yunho points just outside the window to the place across the street, Jaejoong agrees.
This Jaejoong was different than the boy he once knew. Always angry, always upset, stubbornly against everyone and anything as if they were nowhere to turn. That everyone was the same. He was now grown, matured, become someone set apart than who he once was. Despite Jaejoong's wealthy father, there was a not a cent of this apartment that wasn't earned.
Conniving, manipulative, a horrible person; that was how she had described him to be. He was nothing like mother said.
To take in a man he barely knew, Yunho figured it was guilt but never asked if he were right. If it was, he could only hope that he may eventually change the agent's mind.
-
November 2, 1982
Jaejoong has a proud look when Yunho returns and utters he got the job.
"It's nothing amazing," Yunho says quietly, it doesn't deter the man's look. He was working at a grocery store as a starting stocker and cashier, nothing worthy to brag about.
It's a starting point, Jaejoong reminds him often, but Yunho doesn't like that mindset. He wants an actual reason, something worth the other's attention. This goal he was slowly creating and wanted to achieve.
Yunho can see the gradual increase of students within the city who walk in and out from the store, and he can't help but look on envy when he hears their stories.
"Is everyone going to school?" Yunho asks his co-worker.
Junsu helps clean up the boxes, "Just about, all the universities are required to enroll more students now."
Yunho stamps the cans. "Does this mean... Do we have a chance?"
"I'm not too interested, but for you, I don't see why not. They have those two year schools and all that."
Yunho looks down. Was it too much to reach for a bigger goal?
It's an incredulous idea. It was goal he couldn't ever have dreamed.
Yunho looks at the library in Jaejoong's study that he never touches, books on law, on the system, nothing much of any other subject but the man attempts to read through them. Slowly as he understands them, he realizes the study is quite in his interests.
-
Jaejoong returns home just before dawn, these odd hours ruining his sleep cycles. Not that he could rest well at all, not with each case occurring within the city.
Still, he furrows his eyebrows at the dim lights from Yunho's room. He steadily appears behind him, the man didn't hear him.
"You like reading these?" Jaejoong asks. Caught off-guard, Yunho attempts to hide the book but Jaejoong easily glances at the cover.
"You don't have to hide that from me."
"...I know."
Jaejoong tilts his head and says nothing, he won't pressure the man if they didn't want to talk.
A restless Jaejoong lays against the bed, eyes wide open when he hears the door creak open. He side-eyes and gestures to Yunho that he's awake, and waits as the bed dips with Yunho sitting beside him.
"I want to apply for law school." He confides. "Only five perfect get accepted. And they fail the bottom thirty percent of students."
"Don't worry about it," Jaejoong assures, turning on his side to give him better attention, he notices the man seems shy by the action and purposely looks away.
"I can't do anything right." Yunho says, not because he acknowledges it, but remembers the words stated by many lips.
"You can," Jaejoong refutes.
"How do you know?" Yunho asks, curious. The agent smiles, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"I'm trained to," Jaejoong says simply, "Know that." He playfully nudges Yunho on his knee, being casual was still something new to them both, but he keeps trying.
They weren't just words, Jaejoong knows as he lays his head by his lap. With eyes peered open, he reaches out and brushes his fingers against Yunho's hand, an action that tenses Yunho's shoulders.
His skin was still firm from years of work, but they had long healed with only the occasional scar or scratch, but it mattered not to him. They were still the most comforting.
-
The moment Yunho's accepted, he scrambles for the nearest pay phone and calls Jaejoong's office number, he waits and waits until he finally reaches him.
"I got in!" He nearly yells, and when he hears the earnest congratulations, the phone booth's reflection displays the man beaming from ear to ear.
It's just a year after he enters does he learn that the graduation quotas were abolished, and it relieves some pressure. But seeing himself in the middle percentile, though not as high as he'd hoped, was still good to see.
"When I was young, I wanted to be a police officer." Yunho confesses in a bout of their random conversations, Junsu blinks.
"Why?"
"I wanted to protect someone." Yunho admits, scrunching up the towels as he cleans the floors. "But now, that person can protect himself, there's no reason for me to."
Junsu nudged his shoulder quite painfully, "Don't think like that."
The co-worker looks up to see Yunho stealing glances to the front of the store. He turns and sees the familiar friend standing outside, waiting for Yunho's shift to end, something this man named Jaejoong did every so often when he had the chance.
Junsu smiles understandingly and pats Yunho on his back.
-
Yunho reads his books almost religiously as he remains in front of the windows of the apartment. He vaguely hears the door open and remembers it's been the first time he had seen Jaejoong in days. The exhausted agent plops down right beside Yunho and wordlessly lays against Yunho's shoulder.
The student finds it difficult to pay attention to the passages after.
He looks up at the brightening skies, just as the dew reaches the windows and fogs them slightly. He sees their reflection as the skies slowly brighten outside, and outstretches his hand in front of him.
He traces a small umbrella just between them, and traces their names on either side.
He purses his lips and hurriedly reaches to erase the image, when his action causes Jaejoong to fall and land on the ground with a loud thud. The student asks if he's all right as Jaejoong rubs his head.
He's glad the sun rises before Jaejoong could see what he had wrote.
-
October 12, 1985
The agent's quite aware of the friends Yunho's gaining, the connection he makes, and is hopeful whenever he sees the change as Yunho develops who he is. The man is less afraid to speak his mind.
"You're going to a gym?" Jaejoong asks when he sees the bag hanging off Yunho's shoulder.
"I'm going to try."
Yunho was never one for athletics or sports of any sort, and Jaejoong is puzzled as to why he's going.
"I just want to be stronger." Yunho explains, Jaejoong can hear from his tone that there's more to it, but decides to not to ask. As long as he remained encouraged, it was good enough. The man was finally developing who he was, and not what others told him to be.
-
Yunho walks into the apartment to see Jaejoong just finishing the final set of his sit ups. The man always made it a good measure to keep in top shape.
The third year student knelt beside the exhausted man who vaguely heard him enter, and without opening his eyes as he caught his breath, the agent asked, "How's class?"
"Normal."
Jaejoong smiled, patting the wooden floors. "You can do it."
Yunho looks down at his textbooks, then looking at the figure resting on the ground.
Does he tell him?
"Why are you still with him?"
Yunho had looked back as he walked across the campus grounds, to see his mother standing flusteredly behind him, as if there weren't a span of years between them since they last even spoke. She was intervening like she always had.
"He doesn't have a cent of his father's money, what's the use in hanging around him?" She pesters.
We're not the same person, Yunho thought at the time, and felt great relief from that. And with that thought in mind, he nudged Jaejoong as the latter opened his eyes and proceeded to tell him that scene from that afternoon. It was only after did he realize it was better if he hadn't.
Jaejoong's fist nearly slammed against the wall, but held back just centimeters from breaking his fist in seething anger.
"Just how she manages to find people almost makes me wish she worked for us."
Yunho stood a short distance away, waiting as Jaejoong's anger subsided. "Did she do anything to you?" Yunho shakes his head. Jaejoong exhales, agitated. "I swear, anything that relates to that woman is repulsive."
It's shortly after that Jaejoong realizes what he had said, Yunho attempts a smile, his wayward eyes curving upward.
Jaejoong's arms wrap around him, and he hears his voice assure him. "You're the exception, remember that."
-
April 3, 1987
Yunho felt the soft pads placed on both his eyes, fingers tentatively aware not to add any pressure.
"How do you feel?"
"Strange." Yunho replied simply.
The agent mulled over as Yunho blindly examined the room by craning his neck, brushing over them. Jaejoong knew the grad student had made himself this goal. If he passed the bar exam and achieved entrance to the Judicial Research and Training Institute, he'd get surgery to fix his eyes. And here they were.
"I have a small headache," Yunho complained slightly, hand pressed against the throbbing temple of his head. Jaejoong furrowed his brows in concern, gently reaching for his hand, but the abrupt contact startled Yunho just slightly.
"I'm sorry," Jaejoong apologized and withdrew his hands, standing up instead. "I'll get you a drink, maybe it'll help."
He pressed the buttons of the vending machine, exhaling heavily. The overreaction to his touch bothered him, it wasn't Yunho's fault, but still...
His beeper sounded. He checked its contents and thinned his lips. Once he returned the room and handed over the drink, he observed the young man looking apologetic.
"You can go, there's probably better ways to spend your day-off."
Jaejoong smiled, even if Yunho couldn't see.
He handed the case to Liyin, she had always want another serious case that would extend her resume and promote her. Jaejoong handed over the drink and remained sitting up, glancing at his beeper when he felt Yunho reach around before laying against his shoulder. It looked uncomfortable, but Yunho seemed pleased.
It wasn’t guilt that compelled him to stay. It would be wrong to say he wasn't concerned either.
Was Yunho aware of just how much Jaejoong cared for him now? Probably not.
Jaejoong leaned his head against Yunho's, contently closing his eyes. "I'll be here, for as long as you need me." Jaejoong assures quietly. Even if there was never a need, he'd continue to stay.
-
He finds out later they caught one of the killers, a man so turmoiled that he silenced himself before the agency could get a proper confession out of him. There was still more out there, Jaejoong fathomed, knowing it took years to find one depressed the chances.
Still, the agent found it just a bit easier to sleep at night.
-
Dec 17, 1991
Jaejoong glances to see Yunho engrossed in reading, and turns away. The student can see from the window's reflection his actions and looks up, prompting him to ask by appearing he was done.
"Are you really?" Jaejoong asks, Yunho nods convincingly, his eyes aligned in his direction. The agent was gradually growing used to it over the years. "Come with me then, let's walk."
Once outside, Yunho is wary of the other's seemingly free time. Jaejoong had been so caught up at work, that Yunho barely saw him with his own classes and schedules. He asks why.
A puff of smoke escapes his lips. "Apparently, the Lau family's son was born. There will be no crimes done for a while because this is a time of celebration. For me though, I guess it's a break from all this. We're safe for tonight."
The walk amongst the stars is both relaxing and tense, Yunho wishes he could enjoy the view, but becomes nervous at the sight of the contemplating man. Finally, he comes to a stop.
"I'm sorry," he begins. "I didn't want to stay."
He as a teenager, altered his age to work for shops when records were easily fooled, able to leave the house for hours at a time without having to deal with issues at home. He was out for so long, that he could assume himself a stranger in that place.
Jaejoong left at the first chance given. But didn't bring Yunho with him, a nestling thought that guilt him.
"I didn't mean to leave you behind-"
"Its fine."
Jaejoong shakes his head, refusing to be granted it so lightly. "You can't forgive me that easily."
When you cared about someone to this degree, to the extent he had after all these years, it was difficult not to. At Jaejoong's mild cringe and scrunched eyes, Yunho felt his heart tug at the sight.
"I turned out alright." He assures lightheartedly. Jaejoong chuckled, breaking the tension, and the pain lessened just a bit.
He remained still, glancing up at the darkened skies when his vision returned to Jaejoong, who had been doing the same act. His eyes then turned in his direction, and Yunho feels his heart beat just faster.
He could hear Jaejoong stepping towards him, and closes his eyes as he feels two hands reach out. Jaejoong tilts his head just slightly as their foreheads press.
"I never thought I was going to see you again." He murmurs.
"Disappointed?" Yunho asks,
Jaejoong shakes his head, "Never."
Yunho opens his eyes and sees how peaceful Jaejoong appears. And once Jaejoong pulls back just a midstep and opens his eyes, locked and smiling, Yunho is left with this want.
And so, he fulfills it.
"I'm sorry," He murmurs just as he kisses him, giving Jaejoong no time to react. Yet that'd be a lie Yunho thinks after, considering Jaejoong's training, his impulsed actions, there was nothing Jaejoong couldn't get out of if he didn't want to.
The idea that Jaejoong doesn't avoid his kiss stimulates hope. And the moment he feels a softened pressure against his, his fears are whisked away.
And the second they pull apart, observing the subtle acceptance gracing his actions, he grins.
Jaejoong was always worth it, and still is.
-
"Horrible woman." Jaejoong muttered under his breath, sitting in the cafe's booth. "Now that you're getting paid, suddenly comes around and wants to be a mother again? She changed? Lies."
At least Yunho wasn't the only one who thought his mother had other motives even after all this time. "Please stop, despite knowing how she is, she is my mother..." He said politely, adjusting his sunglasses, trying to offer some courtesy. Even though Jaejoong grudgingly obliged, he knew he was mentally continuing the insults.
"Thank you," Yunho added quietly, beneath the table his hand was held by the other, a comforting gesture the whole time they confronted the woman. Jaejoong tightened his grip as a response.
Outside the cafe, Yunho reached for his bicycle, moving the numbers of the bike lock until the code formed. "Going already?" Jaejoong asked.
"He won't let me off the hook until I complete the paperwork, I can't wait to torment my own associate the day I become a proper attorney." He said with a careless smile. Jaejoong chuckled, the other was developing a twisted character.
"I'll protect you from her if she tries anything."
Yunho declined as he pulled out his bicycle. "Being an associate to an attorney should help, especially since he owes me for covering for him when his wife appeared at the office."
"It's nice to know we leave the law in the hands of self-righteous people." Jaejoong commented, briefly occupied with his thoughts when Yunho kissed him on the forehead, leaving him almost flustered. Yunho may have gained an attitude, appeared more confident, the sunglasses he constantly wore only increased that impression, but he still acted on affection often.
"If any of the guys had saw that." Jaejoong grumbled under his breath, feigning annoyance. "But if you're going to do it, at least do it right."
Yunho leaned in, kissing him on the lips instead and earning a pleased expression.
They parted once they said their goodbyes, Yunho paused, his bicycle coming to a stop. He lowered his sunglasses slightly, peering over them as his unfocused eyes continued to look at the departing figure.
The surgery didn't last, yet, while he still covered up his eyes, Jaejoong never once commented or pointed out his flaw, almost oblivious to it. He grinned as his eyes followed after him.
Even if for the rest of his life his eyes never focused properly, they'd find exactly who he wanted, needed, to see.
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Other Stories From The Loyalties!AU:
[ A Candle's Glow | Eunhyuk/DongHae ] ♦ [ Skewed Promises | Yunho/Jaejoong ] ♦ [ Nameless Melody | Sungmin/Ryeowook ] ♦ [ Cardinal Interests | Kyuhyun/Yesung ] ♦ [ Zealous Claims | Jay/No Minwoo ] ♦ [ Shadows Of The Light | Lay/Chen ] ♦ [ First Impressions | TBA ] ♦ [ The Departing Train | TBA ]
=
Pairing: YunJae/Jaeho
Genre: AU!Drama, Romance, Minor!Angst
Summary: All he could see were the flaws, the wrongs done and those who overlooked him. He closed his eyes from the world that turned against him. All the while, a hand reached out silently and timidly towards him, protecting him from the obscene.
Warning: Mentions/alluding to physical abuse.
-
February 13, 1969
Jaejoong traced his finger on the fogged glass, unable to see his face but a vague outline, but he enjoyed that aspect the most at his young age. He laid his hands on the glass, clutching them slightly, waiting.
He then saw another outline reflected in the glass. His eyes glanced at the disheveled child, barely older than he was, who flinched away from his outstretched hand.
With a bruised face, the beaten child was cradled in his arms.
"Your head hurts, doesn't it?" Yunho didn't answer, but as he scrunched up his face, he knew it did. "Your mother is a horrible person." Jaejoong commented lightly, he then sighed. "Father wants to marry her. He doesn't know she's a bad person."
Yunho cowered his head as they sat beside the various tools in that small shed, their only escape.
"We can protect each other... right?" Jaejoong asks, doubt lingering in his tone of voice. He was given no answer as his soon to be brother slept beside him in that small room, laying his head against his thin shoulder.
He initially hated the other.
Yunho, when he first arrived, appeared rather shy and timid. Somehow, it was as if he expected an immediate friendship with Jaejoong, but the latter denied it completely. He already had a hard enough time grabbing his father's attention, a stepbrother would only be competition.
When Jaejoong bothered to spare some attention, he realized the young boy always seemed to be looking in another direction, never able to look him straight in the eye. It's then he puts it together when he overhears the woman's explanation, and learns Yunho's eyes weren't aligned. His constant migraines caused his eyes to be such a way she explains.
Jaejoong narrowed his eyes at the woman's kind smile, knowing she caused this only enraged him more. But he was just a child, and unfortunately then, there was nothing he could do.
-
May 19, 1980
"Hyung,"
The young agent opens his eyes exhaustively, straining from beneath the lights of the room full of bunk beds, where agents could crash for the night. This particular room had become too familiar for him over the last year alone.
He looks up at the television, not a word on the murders, but he wish he could warn that it was unsafe. It was better to keep a tight lip then scare off the public, those words burned him more. But it wasn't his case, he was constantly reminded, and was chosen to stay out of it.
"How are they handling the uprisings?" Jaejoong asks an approaching man, having just returned and glimpsed at the surrounding closed universities throughout the city, and sees this as an answer to the student uprisings occurring as of late.
"The soldiers are handling that one." He answers.
Keep out, Jaejoong can hear them order clearly.
Jaejoong walks out of the room when he hears a scuffle in a distance, he paces himself there and sees a fellow agent grimacing as she spoke to her subordinates.
"What's wrong?"
"My suspect collapsed." Liyin uttered, fists clutched as she left. He knows she's under pressure to finish this case, being one of the few women able to rise up the ranks.
"The one for the Lau murder case?" Jaejoong asks, he stops a co-agent under Liyin's supervision and asks for the files. He just needed to know what the progress could be-
He stops on the spot.
Jaejoong steps through the hospital doors, with a quick explanation, he arrives to the mid floors as he reaches to the number given to him, slowly coming to a stop when he recognizes the familiar up-do.
"What's wrong with him?"
And to his horror, she turns around and recognizes him too and reaches out to him. "Jaejoong, I haven't seen you in so long."
"It appears the patient's been suffering malnutrition for a long while now-"
"Is he bruised?" Jaejoong interrupts. The nurse was stunned that he knew, but the agent wishes he were wrong.
This woman never changed.
Jaejoong avoids her hand. "I'm here for my job, not to see you."
She stops him, holding up a hand, not put off by his clear distaste for her. "I know you can help my son, I heard from your father you're enrolled in the government agency now. You can clear his charges, can't you?"
"It doesn't work like that." He says firmly, she stops him again.
"You can," She smiles. "He was almost your brother after all-"
"What do you want from me? When you were the one who probably put him here in the first place." Jaejoong snaps, the woman recoiled. "I'm done fixing every mistake you've made, he and I don't have that connection between us anymore. You and I? We never had one to begin with, and don't pretend otherwise."
Jaejoong walks away from the stunned woman and heads to the room, slapping the curtains behind him. Its then he clears his throat, seeing him for the first time in years.
He steps forward and reaches for the metal bars that were placed on either side, looking down to see the bandaged man held by a pair of handcuffs on either side. He can't get rid of the lump in throat.
-
Yunho opens his eyes and feels a warm embrace on his hand. He looks up to see someone standing over him.
Is he dying?
"Sleep," The voice says. "Don't force yourself up."
The voice is attempting to be gentle, but comes off coarse. Still, it's a soothing voice he enjoys hearing and listens.
-
Things changed the moment the engagement ring was on her finger.
For the first time in his young life he was struck, for reasons he wasn't too sure of. And while he was shocked, Yunho looked as if he expected nothing less.
She knew too well how to hide the bruises, the cuts, becoming worse every time his father left for longer periods of time. He tried to reach out for help, appearing in his father's office, but instead witnessed another woman cozying up to the man. This was how he had always been, but he thought the man would at least care for his own son.
"Go home." The woman even dared to say, smiling as if it could suffice. His father didn’t acknowledge him.
Jaejoong's raised hand was overlooked time and time again, every time he asked for help, no one bothered. Amongst their proud and boastful voices, there was only one who tried.
Yunho warned him when to hide or not return home for the night, taking the punishments himself when possible, the headaches worsening every time. That hatred he once held ceased as Yunho reached out and intertwined their hands together. The only comfort he could rely on.
Still, there was only so much he could take.
“You’re leaving?” His father asks, his son scoffs, it’s only then he cares.
“There’s no point in me staying.” Jaejoong counters, reaching for his backpack. The young teen brazenly left the only home he knew. There was not a reason worth him staying in this hellhole any longer.
Days before the set wedding, he got wind that his father called it off. At first he was cruelly proud.
It was short-lived when he referred to the timid boy who did his best to protect him. He could feel the hand leave his grip, imagine the departing figures out that door.
To think he'd see him again, he never considered the thought. No, he had from time to time, but like every instance, he never knew how to approach it.
His train of thought is interrupted when he sees an empty bed. He stops a passing nurse, "Where is he?"
"He says he's returning to work."
Jaejoong nods and looks back at the checked out room. The time to hold a suspect without pressed charges had ran out the night before.
The agent dumps the bag of goods into the nearby trash. Yunho left no sign of where he could be. It was better this way.
Despite their past, he had nothing to do with him in the first place, he told himself. Remember that.
-
He banged his fist against the dashboard, cursing out loud as he clutched his head, wishing the possibilities that once flowed would do so again. The skills that others often found unmatched.
"You're distracted." His co-agent scolded, just as frustrated. "If you would just clear your head, we'd have caught the killer by now."
It wasn’t that simple, but Jaejoong didn’t retort. He was equally as impatient to finding the culprit, but any person beneath the shadows of the growing Lau family proved difficult to find. But his co-agent was right.
How many times had he re-watched that tape? Rewinding and playing as he watches Liyin interrogate him. Yunho was stoic, mute, unaffected by her callous words and threats. It's only when she makes impact on the table with her fists does he flinch.
He looked down at the files still in his possession, the mug shot raised.
"Are you interfering in my investigation?"
He looks back to see Liyin come in, ready to challenge him. Jaejoong looks back at the interrogation room, tapping the one-way glass. "He isn't your man."
Liyin arches an eyebrow, clearly upset. "We haven't even gotten our results from the lab yet, how would you know?"
Jaejoong then gestures to the photo. "Does he look like a Lau member to you? The circumstances, his exact location, he was chosen as the fall guy."
"What fool decides to go along with it? No matter how loyal they are to their clan, it's reckless."
Jaejoong looked back through the one-way glass, his memory placing the timid figure back in his seat. One who obeys without question, he silently answered.
Liyin returns a few days after with a defeated look, and he knows he was right.
His sources are limited, even with the best of technology they had to date, there wasn't much to look through. Instead he scours the streets and asks, digging deeper than the information given, interrogating and using almost any means necessary, surprised at his own persistence until he finally appeared where all the clues led to.
He exhaled as he gripped his jacket tightly, prepared for anything as he walked inside.
A wave of blood and decomposing carcasses overwhelmed him, cringing at the potent stench. The men shouted incoherent words, encouraging the animals within each circle, some clutching bills of money in their hands. He turned a blind away temporarily from the crimes at hand, scanning the edgy crowd until they rested on a figure in the distance.
He coordinated himself through the yelling men and outward fists until he reached close the cage, cringing as Yunho grabbed the animal by its neck and hoisted it upward, clawing him as he stuffed it in the cage.
It was then that Yunho moved his head, his unaligned eyes in his direction. It takes a few before recognition traced his features, soon after an expression of shame.
"Hey," Jaejoong called out, grabbing his wrist as the man turned away. "Don't leave again."
The man obeyed. Jaejoong realized the extent of how submissive Yunho could become when given the stern tone he used.
"What are you doing?"
Jaejoong turned around at a man wearing a leather jacket and dark shades, everything about him screamed a haughty clan lieutenant whose ego resonated.
"Do you understand the precious time you're wasting?" He grabbed his collar. "You're costing me money!"
His hand was forced away as Jaejoong stood in front of Yunho. "You'll lose more if you touch him again."
Jaejoong was shoved backwards. "Who do you think you are?" He spat.
Before Jaejoong could reveal his badge, Yunho stepped in front of him. The lieutenant hurled curse words as Jaejoong says, only loud enough for the other to hear, "Don't fight my battles."
Yunho reluctantly steps aside as Jaejoong revealed both his gun and federal badge.
"Let him go, or I call in a raid." Jaejoong warned, his words causing most of them gave wary glances except the lieutenant who stared him down. Jaejoong smirked daringly despite the odds against him. "I doubt your boss will go far to protect you in prison. This is just a small part of his business, nothing worth saving."
The situation was still a gamble. The man could easily forego his status and attack him.
He held back a sigh of relief as the lieutenant stepped back, his men doing the same. Jaejoong returned a nod of acknowledgment, pulling Yunho in tow as they left the horrid building.
"How can you breathe in a place like that?" Jaejoong presses. The expressionless Yunho follows along without being asked to, but on silent order.
Yunho flinched from the liquid applied to his hands, Jaejoong held a bandage between his lips as he carefully cleaned the wounds. Once bandaged, he studied the still soiled Yunho who stared at the wooden floor.
His hands remained in his grasp for moments longer, his eyes casted downward. His hands were now scarred and callous. He looks up and can still see his hallow cheeks.
Yunho shifts to glance at the windows when he sees Jaejoong stand up and utters firmly, "You're staying. Don't think of leaving."
He listens.
It seemed Jaejoong was relieved by how he did so without question, but after his shower when he returned to see Yunho still sitting on the couch, obeying his command without question. It felt as if it caused Jaejoong more concern. Yunho didn't understand.
But why? Yunho listened. What was he doing wrong?
-
Yunho, despite being old enough to live on his own, was made dependent on the woman. The thought twisted Jaejoong's insides.
"He's staying with me as he recovers," He tells her once the woman finds him and stands there on his doorstep, barely a week since Yunho's been in his care. He chases her down the steps and forces her just outside the apartment.
"You can't do that!" She yelled as she grabs his arm. She yelps once he slams her to the wall, twisting her arm behind her.
"Don't think I'm afraid to hurt you. It'd only be satisfaction." He warns, then lets go as she massages her reddening arm. "Don't bother contacting him either."
He enters back to the apartment, looking to see Yunho peering through the curtains at the scene. Once inside, he hears Yunho murmur something, but strains to hear the timid voice.
"You don't have to act concerned about me." Yunho repeated loud enough this time.
"What?" Jaejoong asked crossly.
"Aren't I just a charity case to you?"
Was that what that woman drilled into his head? The thought tightens his fist. "That's not it."
"Then what? Are you that guilty over the past? That you feel indebted even if you hate me, even if you're disgusted by-"
Jaejoong placed a finger on his lips, stopping his words. Rather than appearing angry, Yunho was worried, scared.
"Don't listen to that woman's words again. And if your mother does come by, don't answer the door."
That wasn’t an answer.
Yunho watched warily as Jaejoong grabbed the cup, the very one his mother held earlier when the agent had came home unannounced, throwing it in the trash with a loud crash. By reflex, Yunho shuts his eyes and steps back.
Jaejoong sees the effect, and freezes on the spot. Slowly, he lowers his head.
His beeper vibrates and glances at the message, he reaches for his jacket and is called out again. "I'm sorry," he apologizes sincerely just before he steps out.
-
Yunho waited for the day Jaejoong would order him out, patiently until he’s fed up. They always were, but the other never says so, although he’s increasingly frustrated to the degree of how introverted Yunho could be.
It takes a few months for him to speak up, to have normal conversations, to finally have a say. Jaejoong doesn't control him, and guides him to what ordinary life was meant to be. His once sunken cheeks began to fill in, his exhausted eyes regain some life in them.
The migraines were lessening, Yunho realizes as he clutches his head one afternoon. For a moment, he almost forgets what the pain feels like.
"Are you alright?" He hears Jaejoong’s ask calmly, but there’s an undertone of worry.
"Yes," Yunho says honestly, his eyes faced in the direction of the window, but meant in Jaejoong's direction. The agent doesn't have a reaction, unlike the public who always seemed unsure of how to react when they look at him, if they even tried.
"Do you want to eat out?" Jaejoong asks after, once assured nothing was wrong.
Yunho takes a bit of time to answer, it still felt strange to be asked. "Let's... go to the shop, there." Yunho points just outside the window to the place across the street, Jaejoong agrees.
This Jaejoong was different than the boy he once knew. Always angry, always upset, stubbornly against everyone and anything as if they were nowhere to turn. That everyone was the same. He was now grown, matured, become someone set apart than who he once was. Despite Jaejoong's wealthy father, there was a not a cent of this apartment that wasn't earned.
Conniving, manipulative, a horrible person; that was how she had described him to be. He was nothing like mother said.
To take in a man he barely knew, Yunho figured it was guilt but never asked if he were right. If it was, he could only hope that he may eventually change the agent's mind.
-
November 2, 1982
Jaejoong has a proud look when Yunho returns and utters he got the job.
"It's nothing amazing," Yunho says quietly, it doesn't deter the man's look. He was working at a grocery store as a starting stocker and cashier, nothing worthy to brag about.
It's a starting point, Jaejoong reminds him often, but Yunho doesn't like that mindset. He wants an actual reason, something worth the other's attention. This goal he was slowly creating and wanted to achieve.
Yunho can see the gradual increase of students within the city who walk in and out from the store, and he can't help but look on envy when he hears their stories.
"Is everyone going to school?" Yunho asks his co-worker.
Junsu helps clean up the boxes, "Just about, all the universities are required to enroll more students now."
Yunho stamps the cans. "Does this mean... Do we have a chance?"
"I'm not too interested, but for you, I don't see why not. They have those two year schools and all that."
Yunho looks down. Was it too much to reach for a bigger goal?
It's an incredulous idea. It was goal he couldn't ever have dreamed.
Yunho looks at the library in Jaejoong's study that he never touches, books on law, on the system, nothing much of any other subject but the man attempts to read through them. Slowly as he understands them, he realizes the study is quite in his interests.
-
Jaejoong returns home just before dawn, these odd hours ruining his sleep cycles. Not that he could rest well at all, not with each case occurring within the city.
Still, he furrows his eyebrows at the dim lights from Yunho's room. He steadily appears behind him, the man didn't hear him.
"You like reading these?" Jaejoong asks. Caught off-guard, Yunho attempts to hide the book but Jaejoong easily glances at the cover.
"You don't have to hide that from me."
"...I know."
Jaejoong tilts his head and says nothing, he won't pressure the man if they didn't want to talk.
A restless Jaejoong lays against the bed, eyes wide open when he hears the door creak open. He side-eyes and gestures to Yunho that he's awake, and waits as the bed dips with Yunho sitting beside him.
"I want to apply for law school." He confides. "Only five perfect get accepted. And they fail the bottom thirty percent of students."
"Don't worry about it," Jaejoong assures, turning on his side to give him better attention, he notices the man seems shy by the action and purposely looks away.
"I can't do anything right." Yunho says, not because he acknowledges it, but remembers the words stated by many lips.
"You can," Jaejoong refutes.
"How do you know?" Yunho asks, curious. The agent smiles, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"I'm trained to," Jaejoong says simply, "Know that." He playfully nudges Yunho on his knee, being casual was still something new to them both, but he keeps trying.
They weren't just words, Jaejoong knows as he lays his head by his lap. With eyes peered open, he reaches out and brushes his fingers against Yunho's hand, an action that tenses Yunho's shoulders.
His skin was still firm from years of work, but they had long healed with only the occasional scar or scratch, but it mattered not to him. They were still the most comforting.
-
The moment Yunho's accepted, he scrambles for the nearest pay phone and calls Jaejoong's office number, he waits and waits until he finally reaches him.
"I got in!" He nearly yells, and when he hears the earnest congratulations, the phone booth's reflection displays the man beaming from ear to ear.
It's just a year after he enters does he learn that the graduation quotas were abolished, and it relieves some pressure. But seeing himself in the middle percentile, though not as high as he'd hoped, was still good to see.
"When I was young, I wanted to be a police officer." Yunho confesses in a bout of their random conversations, Junsu blinks.
"Why?"
"I wanted to protect someone." Yunho admits, scrunching up the towels as he cleans the floors. "But now, that person can protect himself, there's no reason for me to."
Junsu nudged his shoulder quite painfully, "Don't think like that."
The co-worker looks up to see Yunho stealing glances to the front of the store. He turns and sees the familiar friend standing outside, waiting for Yunho's shift to end, something this man named Jaejoong did every so often when he had the chance.
Junsu smiles understandingly and pats Yunho on his back.
-
Yunho reads his books almost religiously as he remains in front of the windows of the apartment. He vaguely hears the door open and remembers it's been the first time he had seen Jaejoong in days. The exhausted agent plops down right beside Yunho and wordlessly lays against Yunho's shoulder.
The student finds it difficult to pay attention to the passages after.
He looks up at the brightening skies, just as the dew reaches the windows and fogs them slightly. He sees their reflection as the skies slowly brighten outside, and outstretches his hand in front of him.
He traces a small umbrella just between them, and traces their names on either side.
He purses his lips and hurriedly reaches to erase the image, when his action causes Jaejoong to fall and land on the ground with a loud thud. The student asks if he's all right as Jaejoong rubs his head.
He's glad the sun rises before Jaejoong could see what he had wrote.
-
October 12, 1985
The agent's quite aware of the friends Yunho's gaining, the connection he makes, and is hopeful whenever he sees the change as Yunho develops who he is. The man is less afraid to speak his mind.
"You're going to a gym?" Jaejoong asks when he sees the bag hanging off Yunho's shoulder.
"I'm going to try."
Yunho was never one for athletics or sports of any sort, and Jaejoong is puzzled as to why he's going.
"I just want to be stronger." Yunho explains, Jaejoong can hear from his tone that there's more to it, but decides to not to ask. As long as he remained encouraged, it was good enough. The man was finally developing who he was, and not what others told him to be.
-
Yunho walks into the apartment to see Jaejoong just finishing the final set of his sit ups. The man always made it a good measure to keep in top shape.
The third year student knelt beside the exhausted man who vaguely heard him enter, and without opening his eyes as he caught his breath, the agent asked, "How's class?"
"Normal."
Jaejoong smiled, patting the wooden floors. "You can do it."
Yunho looks down at his textbooks, then looking at the figure resting on the ground.
Does he tell him?
"Why are you still with him?"
Yunho had looked back as he walked across the campus grounds, to see his mother standing flusteredly behind him, as if there weren't a span of years between them since they last even spoke. She was intervening like she always had.
"He doesn't have a cent of his father's money, what's the use in hanging around him?" She pesters.
We're not the same person, Yunho thought at the time, and felt great relief from that. And with that thought in mind, he nudged Jaejoong as the latter opened his eyes and proceeded to tell him that scene from that afternoon. It was only after did he realize it was better if he hadn't.
Jaejoong's fist nearly slammed against the wall, but held back just centimeters from breaking his fist in seething anger.
"Just how she manages to find people almost makes me wish she worked for us."
Yunho stood a short distance away, waiting as Jaejoong's anger subsided. "Did she do anything to you?" Yunho shakes his head. Jaejoong exhales, agitated. "I swear, anything that relates to that woman is repulsive."
It's shortly after that Jaejoong realizes what he had said, Yunho attempts a smile, his wayward eyes curving upward.
Jaejoong's arms wrap around him, and he hears his voice assure him. "You're the exception, remember that."
-
April 3, 1987
Yunho felt the soft pads placed on both his eyes, fingers tentatively aware not to add any pressure.
"How do you feel?"
"Strange." Yunho replied simply.
The agent mulled over as Yunho blindly examined the room by craning his neck, brushing over them. Jaejoong knew the grad student had made himself this goal. If he passed the bar exam and achieved entrance to the Judicial Research and Training Institute, he'd get surgery to fix his eyes. And here they were.
"I have a small headache," Yunho complained slightly, hand pressed against the throbbing temple of his head. Jaejoong furrowed his brows in concern, gently reaching for his hand, but the abrupt contact startled Yunho just slightly.
"I'm sorry," Jaejoong apologized and withdrew his hands, standing up instead. "I'll get you a drink, maybe it'll help."
He pressed the buttons of the vending machine, exhaling heavily. The overreaction to his touch bothered him, it wasn't Yunho's fault, but still...
His beeper sounded. He checked its contents and thinned his lips. Once he returned the room and handed over the drink, he observed the young man looking apologetic.
"You can go, there's probably better ways to spend your day-off."
Jaejoong smiled, even if Yunho couldn't see.
He handed the case to Liyin, she had always want another serious case that would extend her resume and promote her. Jaejoong handed over the drink and remained sitting up, glancing at his beeper when he felt Yunho reach around before laying against his shoulder. It looked uncomfortable, but Yunho seemed pleased.
It wasn’t guilt that compelled him to stay. It would be wrong to say he wasn't concerned either.
Was Yunho aware of just how much Jaejoong cared for him now? Probably not.
Jaejoong leaned his head against Yunho's, contently closing his eyes. "I'll be here, for as long as you need me." Jaejoong assures quietly. Even if there was never a need, he'd continue to stay.
-
He finds out later they caught one of the killers, a man so turmoiled that he silenced himself before the agency could get a proper confession out of him. There was still more out there, Jaejoong fathomed, knowing it took years to find one depressed the chances.
Still, the agent found it just a bit easier to sleep at night.
-
Dec 17, 1991
Jaejoong glances to see Yunho engrossed in reading, and turns away. The student can see from the window's reflection his actions and looks up, prompting him to ask by appearing he was done.
"Are you really?" Jaejoong asks, Yunho nods convincingly, his eyes aligned in his direction. The agent was gradually growing used to it over the years. "Come with me then, let's walk."
Once outside, Yunho is wary of the other's seemingly free time. Jaejoong had been so caught up at work, that Yunho barely saw him with his own classes and schedules. He asks why.
A puff of smoke escapes his lips. "Apparently, the Lau family's son was born. There will be no crimes done for a while because this is a time of celebration. For me though, I guess it's a break from all this. We're safe for tonight."
The walk amongst the stars is both relaxing and tense, Yunho wishes he could enjoy the view, but becomes nervous at the sight of the contemplating man. Finally, he comes to a stop.
"I'm sorry," he begins. "I didn't want to stay."
He as a teenager, altered his age to work for shops when records were easily fooled, able to leave the house for hours at a time without having to deal with issues at home. He was out for so long, that he could assume himself a stranger in that place.
Jaejoong left at the first chance given. But didn't bring Yunho with him, a nestling thought that guilt him.
"I didn't mean to leave you behind-"
"Its fine."
Jaejoong shakes his head, refusing to be granted it so lightly. "You can't forgive me that easily."
When you cared about someone to this degree, to the extent he had after all these years, it was difficult not to. At Jaejoong's mild cringe and scrunched eyes, Yunho felt his heart tug at the sight.
"I turned out alright." He assures lightheartedly. Jaejoong chuckled, breaking the tension, and the pain lessened just a bit.
He remained still, glancing up at the darkened skies when his vision returned to Jaejoong, who had been doing the same act. His eyes then turned in his direction, and Yunho feels his heart beat just faster.
He could hear Jaejoong stepping towards him, and closes his eyes as he feels two hands reach out. Jaejoong tilts his head just slightly as their foreheads press.
"I never thought I was going to see you again." He murmurs.
"Disappointed?" Yunho asks,
Jaejoong shakes his head, "Never."
Yunho opens his eyes and sees how peaceful Jaejoong appears. And once Jaejoong pulls back just a midstep and opens his eyes, locked and smiling, Yunho is left with this want.
And so, he fulfills it.
"I'm sorry," He murmurs just as he kisses him, giving Jaejoong no time to react. Yet that'd be a lie Yunho thinks after, considering Jaejoong's training, his impulsed actions, there was nothing Jaejoong couldn't get out of if he didn't want to.
The idea that Jaejoong doesn't avoid his kiss stimulates hope. And the moment he feels a softened pressure against his, his fears are whisked away.
And the second they pull apart, observing the subtle acceptance gracing his actions, he grins.
Jaejoong was always worth it, and still is.
-
"Horrible woman." Jaejoong muttered under his breath, sitting in the cafe's booth. "Now that you're getting paid, suddenly comes around and wants to be a mother again? She changed? Lies."
At least Yunho wasn't the only one who thought his mother had other motives even after all this time. "Please stop, despite knowing how she is, she is my mother..." He said politely, adjusting his sunglasses, trying to offer some courtesy. Even though Jaejoong grudgingly obliged, he knew he was mentally continuing the insults.
"Thank you," Yunho added quietly, beneath the table his hand was held by the other, a comforting gesture the whole time they confronted the woman. Jaejoong tightened his grip as a response.
Outside the cafe, Yunho reached for his bicycle, moving the numbers of the bike lock until the code formed. "Going already?" Jaejoong asked.
"He won't let me off the hook until I complete the paperwork, I can't wait to torment my own associate the day I become a proper attorney." He said with a careless smile. Jaejoong chuckled, the other was developing a twisted character.
"I'll protect you from her if she tries anything."
Yunho declined as he pulled out his bicycle. "Being an associate to an attorney should help, especially since he owes me for covering for him when his wife appeared at the office."
"It's nice to know we leave the law in the hands of self-righteous people." Jaejoong commented, briefly occupied with his thoughts when Yunho kissed him on the forehead, leaving him almost flustered. Yunho may have gained an attitude, appeared more confident, the sunglasses he constantly wore only increased that impression, but he still acted on affection often.
"If any of the guys had saw that." Jaejoong grumbled under his breath, feigning annoyance. "But if you're going to do it, at least do it right."
Yunho leaned in, kissing him on the lips instead and earning a pleased expression.
They parted once they said their goodbyes, Yunho paused, his bicycle coming to a stop. He lowered his sunglasses slightly, peering over them as his unfocused eyes continued to look at the departing figure.
The surgery didn't last, yet, while he still covered up his eyes, Jaejoong never once commented or pointed out his flaw, almost oblivious to it. He grinned as his eyes followed after him.
Even if for the rest of his life his eyes never focused properly, they'd find exactly who he wanted, needed, to see.
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Other Stories From The Loyalties!AU:
[ A Candle's Glow | Eunhyuk/DongHae ] ♦ [ Skewed Promises | Yunho/Jaejoong ] ♦ [ Nameless Melody | Sungmin/Ryeowook ] ♦ [ Cardinal Interests | Kyuhyun/Yesung ] ♦ [ Zealous Claims | Jay/No Minwoo ] ♦ [ Shadows Of The Light | Lay/Chen ] ♦ [ First Impressions | TBA ] ♦ [ The Departing Train | TBA ]
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