Request for Money
Dear Sir,
With regard to your tradition that at the start of the college year you make a direct appeal for contributions to help improve facilities in the college….
Let me regale you with a little scenario of my own…
Picture if you will a standard family unit of 2.4 children (not sure where the .4 bit is just yet) anyway…..
As you will appreciate there are certain financial requirements and demands made by ones offspring. Clothing and footwear last barely a week at some stages of the growth cycle, which is quite apart from the designer label habits that some acquire.
The transitory hobbies and latest fads are also a huge conduit for ones rapidly depleting resources to channel down.
Annual events such as Christmas, the birthday and if one is very lucky the family holiday! Which has to be taken during the summer holidays, much to the delight of travel agents everywhere due to their making it the most expensive time of the year, and all to avoid disrupting the education of our youth.
There is always some new toy, clothing, music or electronic equipment that is a must have for our issue, who are ever eager to strip us of as much of our assets as is humanly or in some cases inhumanly possible. So as you can imagine your request for yet more of my hard earned cash to be channelled once more into the never ending coffers of my progeny, met with the disapproval of my camel!
I will elucidate.
Your request for money was the straw that sent my camel of in search of a chiropractor for his soon to be broken back.
He hailed a taxi….
got in…..
wound down the window……
raised his middle digit in a gesture of defiance….
and fucked off.
He took your donation with him to pay for his therapy of which he will need huge amounts due to endless years of abuse
I therefore hope you will understand when I say how sorry I am that I am unable to make a contribution at this time. : D
Yours Sincerely
A Parent
With regard to your tradition that at the start of the college year you make a direct appeal for contributions to help improve facilities in the college….
Let me regale you with a little scenario of my own…
Picture if you will a standard family unit of 2.4 children (not sure where the .4 bit is just yet) anyway…..
As you will appreciate there are certain financial requirements and demands made by ones offspring. Clothing and footwear last barely a week at some stages of the growth cycle, which is quite apart from the designer label habits that some acquire.
The transitory hobbies and latest fads are also a huge conduit for ones rapidly depleting resources to channel down.
Annual events such as Christmas, the birthday and if one is very lucky the family holiday! Which has to be taken during the summer holidays, much to the delight of travel agents everywhere due to their making it the most expensive time of the year, and all to avoid disrupting the education of our youth.
There is always some new toy, clothing, music or electronic equipment that is a must have for our issue, who are ever eager to strip us of as much of our assets as is humanly or in some cases inhumanly possible. So as you can imagine your request for yet more of my hard earned cash to be channelled once more into the never ending coffers of my progeny, met with the disapproval of my camel!
I will elucidate.
Your request for money was the straw that sent my camel of in search of a chiropractor for his soon to be broken back.
He hailed a taxi….
got in…..
wound down the window……
raised his middle digit in a gesture of defiance….
and fucked off.
He took your donation with him to pay for his therapy of which he will need huge amounts due to endless years of abuse
I therefore hope you will understand when I say how sorry I am that I am unable to make a contribution at this time. : D
Yours Sincerely
A Parent