(no subject)
I guess I didn't guard myself well enough. He's leaving me before I even had time to take a breath. I knew something was wrong yesterday when he wasn't at work again. I had seen him that night and he wasn't sick anymore. I just figured that he was tired since I didn't leave his house till midnight, and he had to be up at 5, but no one would answer me when I asked why Kenny wasn't there.
Then I called him. He was very short and not at all happy but he wouldn't tell me why. It took about 3 hours before he called me back and said he had to tell me something. I braced myself, thinking his ex was pregnant, or that he didn't think we should see each other anymore. But it was worse. He had been fired and was leaving within a week for Utah to work on the oil rigs.
I had a selfish first reaction. I thought only of myself. What was I going to do? Then I grabbed a hold of myself and was like, you are crazy, you've known him for a month, how could you be this upset already??? But I was. I told him I would never forgive him for making me like him. And he sighed and said, what is different from what you were going to do to me Tahnee? You were leaving me in a month, the only difference is that the tables have turned.
He was right. But I never expected to have this happen. I went over to his house last night for a few hours, and just laid there with him, and it was so comfortable, like I could stay right there for the rest of my life. That freaked me out a little bit. But he's leaving. Granted he will be closer to me than he would be in Arizona. He said he'd come see me. His new job, well, he works really hard, non-stop for a week or maybe two and then he has a week off. So he said he would divide his time between MT and AZ. I see that working for a month or two, hell maye even three. But I am realistic, and I know that it's already over. I had a month of something I never thought I would, and I should be thankful.
Then I called him. He was very short and not at all happy but he wouldn't tell me why. It took about 3 hours before he called me back and said he had to tell me something. I braced myself, thinking his ex was pregnant, or that he didn't think we should see each other anymore. But it was worse. He had been fired and was leaving within a week for Utah to work on the oil rigs.
I had a selfish first reaction. I thought only of myself. What was I going to do? Then I grabbed a hold of myself and was like, you are crazy, you've known him for a month, how could you be this upset already??? But I was. I told him I would never forgive him for making me like him. And he sighed and said, what is different from what you were going to do to me Tahnee? You were leaving me in a month, the only difference is that the tables have turned.
He was right. But I never expected to have this happen. I went over to his house last night for a few hours, and just laid there with him, and it was so comfortable, like I could stay right there for the rest of my life. That freaked me out a little bit. But he's leaving. Granted he will be closer to me than he would be in Arizona. He said he'd come see me. His new job, well, he works really hard, non-stop for a week or maybe two and then he has a week off. So he said he would divide his time between MT and AZ. I see that working for a month or two, hell maye even three. But I am realistic, and I know that it's already over. I had a month of something I never thought I would, and I should be thankful.