Interstitial Space

[nyx06]

Just a portion of a Minho-centered fic… this is the beginning…

~*~

[Spoiler (click to open)]

The gun felt heavy in his hand. He was huddled behind a rusting dumpster breathing shallowly through his mouth. The stench of the alley; a mixture of urine and garbage, was overpowering even in the downpour. Thunder crashed overhead and he ducked further down, feeling

Comments

[nyx06]

Thanks for reading it T_____T ... and yeah, I was concerned with the pacing and I felt I was too descriptive at some parts, so it gave me a feeling like it was stopping and going.

Also, I like and yet I kind of dislike that the flashbacks break the tension... on one hand it shows Minho... who as you know doesn't remember his past is conflicted, he woke up owing someone and he has to do things that offend his sensibilities... I mean he's called out of the blue, and has to drop everything to do his boss' bidding, which he hates and feels bad about but he's starting to not care, he's gotten good at it, which horrifies him... I dunno if I should continue and spoil things for you lol...

But I am glad that Minho came off as cold even though I hadn't actually thought his character through completely... I like that because he's been working for Julian (which is Julian Kang btw XDDD) against his will and he has to adapt in order to survive and he's a go getter so... I'm glad.

I do like the flashbacks in the beginning... maybe I'll start it with only the flashback, like he's zoned out because when you're about to do something dangerous/crazy you start to question how you got to be where you are lol and have him drop to the present when the tracker goes off, then follow him through the altercation, then have him think again about how he got to be who he was at that time.... or maybe I'll just start off with the altercation... and have the flashback all afterwards.... hmm.....

[kayjay1212]

When I write I usually read my work as I write and make sure that things flow the way I want them to. (not fiction, I mean school crap) As the author, you know how you want to make your readers react and feel at any given point in a story. So just read through as you write to make sure the tone your creating is the one you want to create. In regards to what you have written so far, all that would mean is maybe switching some of the paragraphs around and maybe getting rid of some of the description as you mentioned (I personally hate too much description, but when people use it on purpose it can really help with setting the tone. Renn, for instance, does it a lot). Because even though the writing is good, and I enjoyed the story, I just felt confused at times as to how you were trying to get the reader to react.